Friday, June 30, 2006

ps...

...remember all this shit about transfering so um ya i am FINALLY going back to PC where i sorta belong where people are interested in what i have to suggest because you know i am a fag and apparently we are all like good at fashion but for 10 bucks i say whatev but periodically can put something together hot and be like fuck i am a good fag and then i like piss myself and am like no i am not a good fag and dirty and cry and i have no idea what i am going on about but ya i am back at PC bitches.

lil brainy balls

-when we were driving to california we would stop periodically so father unit could stretch and shit and i would get out and swing my poi which i have not done in a long time so i thought hey lets practise and sometimes i would not do so well especially when they would collide and it was a ball on ball on ball on ball not so fun situation and perfectly captured by bitch...


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my goal is starting spinning the fire again because i loved it but i have not 'lit up' in like ages because of a)no yard to do so b)just have not thought of it but this year i am intent on spinning some mad fire. i used to for those who do not know...
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those pictures are crazy old like 2oo1 & 2oo2 but i am bound to get bitch to take some new ones this summer since he is all I AM CRAZY PHOTOGRAPHER MAN?!?.

really no point to all this just me thinking about balls...

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

pictoral interlude - taste of the beginning

-time being of an essence or just a pain in the ass i am not so sure but i am unable to like post dozens of pictures for you but i do want to post just a couple as a teaser for those who care and ya...

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-bitch has the ability to pull the diva out in anyone including my mom and bitch was all like I WANT FIERCE and opened the window for the wind blown effect. i said my mom resembled courtney love and she scoffed at me sorta.

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-excitement was rampant on the day we left...

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-somewhere in buttfuck nowher, california

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-bitch puts the O in HO or i mean California (outside of the California Adventure park)

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-though its the happiest place on earth tons of fucking people make me very anxious and unhappy... see next picture

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-it so full of people because of some premier of pirates of the carribean and this was taken at like 11:00am. *shudder*

to be continued...

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

flying the busy first

-i am back again... again. and again. i flew yesterday from las vegas and i had a free agent ticket and i am not allowed to have it upgraded to first at check in but my eyes are pretty and so was the check in agent and i told her and i paid 50 dollars for first class. it was much nicer to fly home that way except for the grumpy asian who looked as if i was asking for his first born male child of his family when i asked to borrow his pen to fill out my customs form so i spilt a cracker on him i should have dipped in the dip first. came home in a limo too because i was like I AM FAMOUS and it was nice. the trip was fun and interesting and at one point i was in the company of the most racist single minded pompus ass half white half spic i have ever ever ever ever met and will meet i am sure. he drove bitch and i to the airport when bitch left and when he dropped me off back at the rv i had to sit and cry because he was so emotionally draining listening to him using terms like 'gorilla', 'sand nigga', 'hong and wong', um ya you get the point. i have pictures but i will show them later... not of chuck the racist but of the trip.
it was nice to come home and i drank my liter of rye i bought for 18 dollars holy shit my pants and made sweet raping love to bitch. i missed him tunz.

Friday, June 16, 2006

drink high back and blow

-i am leaving today. my mom burst my bubble this morning by telling me that there is no window up by the bed above the driver and i was like WHAT and she said it was because drunk assholes like myself tried sitting up there too much while the vehicle was in motion and went through it because the motorhome crashed and stuff and i was like FUCK IT i am not going and she said fine so i was like KIDDING. then i asked if we are able to smoke in the RV and she said no and i was like oh and she said BUT HELLO THAT IS WHY I BOUGHT FUCKING FEBREEZE AND MINI ASHTRAYS. i told bitch and he was like NOOO SMOKING and my mom said BITE ME to bitch. hah. i love her.

-last weekend shari came over and we smoked and drank and smoked and drank and smoked and danced under the moon naked. well not really but we discussed it and then it is like my most favoritist thing to watch east indian television all high and play MIA because it ALWAYS matches and we laugh and i get so caught up with the GURU madness i usually fall asleep.
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-i wish i was like rich or at least with lots of money so i can buy everyone i know mickey mouse ears with some sort of durogatory word on it like DOUCHE, TWAT, SMEGMA, and RECTUM but i do not have the money but now that i think about it i want to name my first born SMEGMA. that is so hot. SMEGMA GO SHOWER YOU STINK LIKE SHIT!!! ... and he would be like JUST WHEN YOU PULL THE SKIN BACK DAD hah. i am hilarious. if you do not know what smegma is
go here. it is stuff you put on cupcakes.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

timing the deals off

-so the last couple of days have been crazy because bitch works for a FUCKED UP company that has 0% management skill and communication skills. they tried to tell him suddenly when we are 4 days from holiday that he is not allowed time off!!! so i was all like puetro rican and OH NO DEY DI'INT?!? and i made him bitch out and he did but he still has to fly home early and i will be flying from las vegas now as i am unable to justify taking 2 weeks off since work is crazy mad mad. so all in all things are okay now but i was ready to rip some faces off at his work.

-i have decided if anyone ever asks me what i do for work i will merely reply JANITOR because i am tired of answering dumb questions whenever i reply TRAVEL AGENT. so here is a memo to you fags out there who bombard with idiotic questions such as
~CAN YOU GET ANY DEALS?
(OF COURSE I CAN BUT FOR MEEEE ONLY BECAUSE THAT IS THE WAY IT WORKS)
~HOW MUCH DOES IT COST TO FLY TO [enter random fucking destination like Dubai]?
(I DONT FUCKING KNOW DOES IT LOOK LIKE I AM HAVING ALL FARES AND SCHEDULES STORED IN THIS MINUTE BRAIN OF MINE)
~CAN YOU GET ANY DEALS?
(sigh...)
and so on...

seriously i am all tired of reflecting those questions and i am sorry if i am sounding woe is me blah blah blah but that is not what i am trying to get at it is just that when someone asks what i do i am not wanting to sit there and be like OH MY GAWD DEALS EVERY WHERE and explain shit. if you want me to explain shit call me during my business hours at my office and i will gladly do so and i will also glady charge you the transaction fee which most of your cringe from so i will not waste my time. so when someone asks me what i do i will say JANITOR because i know the conversation will venture else where rather than OMG DO YOU GET DEALS ON TOILET PAPER!!!?

-so i am leaving tomorrow after work via motorhome which excites me because i want to get drunk and sit on the bed thing above the driver and look out the window and pretend i am that kid from that old 80's movie the boy who could fly which ALWAYS made me wish i could fly and then when i finally got off that kick that show with jerry oconnell came out called my secret identity and he could fly too but with aerosol cans but whatev i would not care because i would be able to fly and then i will lean over to talk to my mom as she sits there shaking her head at my drunken antics and i will barf on bitch! oh wait he barfs i sleep. i get confused all the time...

side note: on the 18th will be bitch and mine two year anniversary! fucked up i tell ya.. i luv that kid in a realy sick way.

Friday, June 09, 2006

filling the gay snappy

-i have been so crazy busy lately since i am leaving in a week which is crazy in itself because hello i just came back from time off but oh well i am not complaining because i will take the two weeks off and pretend what it would be like to be unemployed traveling the states via RV but i will be one of those special umemployed people that has money in my account and nobody can figure out why or how or why and i am all like I WILL NOT TELL YOU and it is because i am a dealer but not really that is what i secretly tell people to hide the fact that i am actually a stripper at a high class strip joint and i have mastered the tape the cock back to make it look like i am just a women with a puffy bush and then i make thousands and do not tell people but if i do i tell them i am a dealer... of bush. bitch says i have a large bush which could possibly be seeing that once i got into this relationship i was all like FUCK GROOMING since i have someone who will like it or not still go down and do his deed that he is there for to do. whoa that sentence was wrong in so many ways... meaning grammar. and double whoa because that was all filler since i have nothing to talk about since my life is work sleep work work sleep work. and work. mind you the fact about my bush is all pending on perspective. i think it is fine. bitch thinks its full. hes the only one that gets close up visits though...
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-so i was walking to work and
this story was the front page of the vancouver province and i was like WHAT THE FUCK because it is so stupid to be front page like HELLO some granny got her ass kicked at surrey central sky train by a bunch of kids and instead we have some fag on the front page bitching about being too gay and being forced on paid time off from his law firm. hello gay man maybe you should stop dressing 'snappy' and smiling in that faggot way that you do. he claims he does not talk about his sex life at work but is called gay!!! okay... i talk about cock more than i talk about talk but some still confuse me for straight (HAH....suckers).
whatever my favorite part of the article is:

"On Monday, managing partner William Westeringh and Briante's mentor
visited him at his Kitsilano home and gave him a pamphlet on mental illness and
counselling offered through the firm."


how could you be showing your face back to work once your mentor has given you a brochure on being retarded. HERE LET THE FIRM HELP YOU AND YOUR GAY WAYS!!! fags...

Monday, June 05, 2006

airport code

-on saturday night we had amanda and tanya over and we got smashed at our place and at one point i was getting into a drunken discussion about people and a new airport code i created for
assholes.

{ click here }

and if i am ever drinking with you and i start sounding like this... you have about 5 minutes before i find a comfortable corner and nest till about 6:30am when i wake up all WHOA feeling doing a mental inventory of how much beer is left and how honkered i am going to get from 6:30 - 8:30 before everybody else wakes up.

psssssssssss. i think i am fucking hilarious when i am drunk

Friday, June 02, 2006

pictoral interlude - bitch's hawaii pictures

-so here are some of bitch's pictures of hawaii with his super duper nice camera so of course the pictures are like majorly pretty even if it is a picture of a fucking street sign.
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-also with super duper camera lenseses you get super close to boats that are super far away. SUPER?!@
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-molokini
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-trust me my friends there are plenty more and so if you are all sick like of the pictures then oh well and check back in about 2 years because i will still probably be posting pictures of hawaii and when i am done hawaii i will have pictures of las vegas, disney land and lake tahoe. ha.