social narcolepsy

inspired

2011-03-15T21:04:00.000-07:00

-okay so i have been wanting to sign back on like this in like forever and stuff and i would be like on the bus to work and think the most randomnest thing and be OH that would be sooo funny to tell random people who may stumble upon this page while writing their thesis on something that involves drunks, sleepy, turtles, and... well stuff and turned to a non-popular search engine to find out info. but when i get home or to a computer to do it i'm like nah whatev and the idea of acquiring more points on my online mario wii account makes more sense well it just does.

anyway i just watched gleeeeeeeeee on march 15th... PAY-MUTHER-EFFING-DAY!! i am not one to stand on a crowded 135 B-line public bus to downtown and talk boring ass fucking shit about the bachelor last night, but GLEE... that shit... that right there was good. i enjoyed that. i wanted to call people up who'm' i have not spoken to in ages and be like did you see that shit with blaine-and-kurt-kissing-and-i-wasn't-awkward-because-it-didnt-look-like-some-under-age-boy-being-kissed-by-my-ever-fantastical-and-imaginary-2nd-boyfriend and well just weird and then to sue punching out the drunk-lady-judge-announcer-lady.. anyway ~!! awesome!! from beatles to pink to awesome and awesom-er-ing amazing. good show and i heart hyphens

the original songs, the lines ("whOa scary quinn!!", "...trout LIPS..."), and just overall goodness that i felt that was good. thank you glee people i liked that. it was good. original.
it made me want to say stuff. since my bean is up in quiz-nell and i gots no one to vent my obvious yet unpredictable poofyness and opinion too well welcome back cawwwwwwwwtA!

and done

matrimony

2010-08-16T10:50:00.000-07:00

-over the last several weeks i have been in the midst of being by my best friends side with her wedding. this weekend was the weekend and i could not be more honored to have been apart of it as her man of honor. i am saddened that in the midst of the craziness and being the brides crutch of sanity i neglected to have my camera but i am sure through the next few days pics will become available such as this one... and yes i did catch the garter.

skwirl in effect

2010-07-31T06:59:00.000-07:00

-sometimes you are reminded that it does not matter and to let it go VANNA style

and ya

and then you eat chips

monsewer bacon le chat

2010-07-26T11:34:00.000-07:00

-this is bacon. he is my new roommate along with mykael.

he is clearly adapting to the turtle situation within the new apartment. (like he has a choice)

we moved tango over and so far bacon has only shown a voyeuristic interest in the live turtle. i also do not think he is nimble enough or cares enough to try and get up to the tank and sniff him out like a normal cat would. plus i think tango would kick his ass.

found

2010-07-25T09:17:00.001-07:00

-i was cleaning out my old storage unit and once i got past the odd, moist and moldy box that had something decomposing in it, other than 4 years of past times, i came across one of my old old sketch books that i have been searching for for quite some time. the contents within are some of the pages below which i scanned ages ago and thought for awhile that those scans would be the only evidence the sketchbook existed. needless to say i was excited to find this.

bean there nug that

2010-07-25T08:44:00.000-07:00

and from the distance, a thunderous yawn...

2009-11-12T22:32:00.001-08:00

i have been awfully tired. i will eventually wake up......

better lake than never

2009-08-23T20:18:00.000-07:00

-so it is official that the parental folks are moving up to williams lake. it is a range of emotions like on a selfish level i am sad that i will not have my mom and dad at arms length any more so if i needed that safe haven to go visit them i could but now if i want to do something like that it would require a flight or 5 hours of driving or who will i call if i am drunk and fall asleep on the skytrain and stranded in new west at 2am but on the flip side of things i am super stoked and really happy for them because a future of retirement and happiness is more foreseeable up there than what it is in surrey and as dad said 'i would rather spend the last of my years up there than here' so when he said that it hit home and made total and complete sense but anyway so they are planning for the move at the end of september and then last week was a bit rough because when they heard they can get the jobs they were wanting up there they put the house up for sale on monday and by monday at 10pm it was sold and i was sad because that is the house that i grew up in all my life and i never thought i would ever see my parents move from there so that was that and tears were shed but i am okay it is natural i am thinking and then on wednesday they had to put chica the family dog down because it was her time she should have been dead in december last year but with the wonders of doggie steroids she stayed around alot longer than what she was supposed to so more tears were shed on wednesday it was rough but again i am okay because i would rather chica pass on now here and be put down by a vet who loved her as much as my parents rather than some stranger up in YWL that is the airport code for williams lake which i guess i need to know for future reference and then this weekend i went in to help with the packing duties and HOLY SHIT nostalgic road or what going through a bunch of stuff that i had left there when i moved out over 8 years ago craziness and i think kael has a new view on me especially looking at my grad photo with the HAIR i would post a picture but that is okay i will pass so the next little bit is going to be a stressful to ensure their move goes well and i hope they get the house they are eyeing up there and next week is my birthday. 29 if you are wondering. i know.

-kael already gave me my birthday gifts which included tickets to a dan mangan concert on the 28th and also wii sport resort and super mario galaxy for the wii so awesome which is also another reason i have not typed in a bit because i have been golfing and frisbeeing and archering and power cruising and no that is not super fast checking out and hitting on guys that has something to do with jet skis or something but i am super excited for dan mangan ... mind you i was wanting his new cd when it came out on the 11th but hmv did not have it and added me to a list so if it came in they would call me but no phone call yet and how am i supposed to be that crazy fan singing all his new songs at the concert if i do not have his cd so i am going on a hunt starting tomorrow to get that shit.

-i have started taking advantage of the company costco card and i have fallen in love with mini bagels because they are the most amazing snack/meal/breakfast/lunch/dinner whatever and the best friend for mini bagels is bacon bit cream cheese omg i will be a not so mini bagel at any rate but i am okay with that.

-due to popularity of fat angels i have drawn a few sketches of possible future paintings ...

stay!@#

everybody hurts...

intent on blood

you should see the new painting i am doing of a fat little angel guy singing it is cute and big and almost done.

i am sure i will have pictures of birthday madness and possible stress stories of the parents re location so till then...

melting the homos away...

2009-07-29T20:29:00.001-07:00

-dearest ontario,
you can take back your fucking humidity it is disgusting and i do not like it. we will keep the sun because i like having summer and you can keep our rain we really do not want it mind you the forest fires could use it but i do not want it but please take your humidity back because when i am sleeping nude style with nothing and a fan blowing in my bodily direction and i am still sweating and i do not want to be touched that is not enjoyable or like when i ride the bus to work and some news reporter lady says that the temperature on the bus is equal to 46 degrees but actually feels like 150 that is not enjoyable especially being all dressed in business casual wear but more like fucking sweat wear ya that is not enjoyable and having to smell everyones odors so intesified ya gross and i have like really not got no tan going on because being outside is so draining but whatever that is why i am going out to surrey to my parents this weekend to visit my loving parental figures and engage in wonderful parent-son conversation as i take full fucking advantage of their pool.
xoxo
gossipgirl
ps- if this is what the east deals with every summer and then the harsh winters then you are all masocistic fuckers.

-here are some random shots from the folk fest where this weird wedding type people walked through the crowd

and off they go......

sunset through the trees... looked so much cooler in real life

(kael really does not have a huge mutated ~~jay leno~~ jennifer aniston chin that is just all shadow and lighting...)

-i have received my first 3 invites to pride parties today for this weekend but i am skipping all that shit and i will be hanging out in surrey because if you know me you know how i feel so i will not bore you with my rant so people please thank you for your invites but do not bother as i will be avoiding the homos this weekend as i will be sitting in a pool in quiet solitude drinking in celebration of my pride of being cool and wet not on denman cheering a float of gays in their underwear. i am not jaded i am just tired of the same thing over and over again.

remember that time...

2009-07-24T13:49:00.000-07:00

-do not worry i was not a fucking idiot again and did not fall off stairs again i just wanted to post the picture because i think i look hot except for the slight formation of the double chin starting to protrude but that is because i am fat well i am feeling fat like beer bloat fat and then i bitch about it and then do nothing but that is not entirely true i DID do something i actually went running last week for like 15 minutes then i said fuck this and went home and poured myself a glass of rye on ice see that is my way of combating the fat i do not drink beer as much so i just drink rye straight up and i have been eating salads more too then for like 3 days my legs hurt from running and i even made sure to stretch but whatev i did it because i need to start running so i did a feeble run the first time to get one under the belt but now a week and a bit later with no run in between the first one under the belt has become lost under the belly slowing taking over the waistline and anything in its sight. i really do not understand how obese people can be comfortable the size they are and maybe they are not but once my view of my genitals is slightly obstructed to the tiniest degree i feel compelled to exercise or just starve myself. several weeks ago i was at my parents place helping them set up the above ground pool because thats how you do it in surrey and it was fucking hot and i said to my mom 'i am taking my shirt off but i warn you i have gained weight because of kael and his cooking' and my mom was like you know the typical mom and said some shit like ill love you any size you are and i took my shirt off and she said "oh...". thanks mom. then i was trying the wii fit for a while too and my friend skwirl and i have come to the conclusion the balance board is a fucking asshole and mean like it tells you are fat and when you step on it it says the same thing my mom does "OH". so the wii fit is no longer welcome in my apartment. BANNED. only i can call myself fat. i had perogies and a shared a pitcher of beer for dinner last night. fyi.

-anyfattyfattyfatfat i have been painting or trying to and this is the newest one:

it is entitled "the last gummybear" and i gave it to randyman because i have never seen a human being enjoy gummy bears to the length that he does. bucci flew to munich to go for 3 months and he took the painting with him to give to randyman for me. it is one of my favorites. i need to stop giving them away...
others...

you have may seen this one already...
well here is his brother...

i am working on a third one.

-i did volunteer at the folk fest this year and it was amazing and i have fallen in love with a new singer guy named Dan Mangan and i totally recommend him to anyone i love his voice so deep and raspy at times yet so awesome anyboner i totally am telling you to purchase (NOT DOWNLOAD support the guy) his EP called Roboteering and his new album Nice Nice Very Nice is coming out on the 11th. he is from bc and i can see why some many love this guy. every year i go i always seem to find one artist who i fall in love with and go nuts and this year the title goes to dan. thank you dan. ps. your cute.

(mos)q[uito/uesnel]

2009-07-03T16:51:00.000-07:00

-i went to quesnel and met some people hey people and got hugs and laughs and questions of interest and all that fun stuff and it was good except for the fucking mosquitos they fucking love me. i attract everything i swear. i think even male mosquitos were tapping this even though they are techinically not supposed to and the only reason i know that is because this one sunday a couple of weeks ago i was really hungover and watching tv and the morning news ended and i could not be bothered to change the channel because that would have required movement but movement made banging noises in my head so i left it and a fishing show came on you know how sundays are so i left it because i did not want the poundbangpound in my head the host was so excited talking about mosquitos and if i could yell at him i would have but ya he told me males do not bite only females need blood to create eggs or some gross fucking reproductive shit like that... LOOK

AND NO THAT IS NOT BACK ACNE maybe one or two are but most of that shit are bites from moquitos and kael thinks even black flys were using some forks and knives on me. great. i love the interior and their fucking bugs so anyseguay i come home after said trip to find out parents are thinking of moving to williams lake?!@#! nice. i will just paint on deet. thanks guys. you better make me tons of fucking pre-made frozen meat loaf nicely packed in ice for the trip back if you ever expect me to visit you there.

dont fucking take pictures of me driving or the car goes into the ditch

we even hiked... i KNOW

the discovery of MACRO

cache creek

how YOU doin....

eyeing the waldo from quesnel

2009-06-12T16:29:00.000-07:00

-my eye is better now. it is just some hot scar now and everyone is telling me all these things to make the scar go away like aloe and oil and vitamin E and bacon grease and well no i lie about the bacon grease but i would love an excuse to smear bacon grease on me not that i need an excuse but if i did with no excuse i would just be a disgusting person who smells like bacon grease and all shiny but i bet it would help with tanning in the sun but regardless it does not help with scarring so i will not be doing that but anyiwantbaconnow i will not be following any of those helpfuls tips because i like my scars and it gives me street cred like i am a FIGHTAH but not really just with hardwood floors but being irish i like to tell tall tales (read: bullshit to no end) so to some i have fought, to some i was abused, to some it was a sex act gone wrong and to the rest i pretend to twitch and fiddle with my pocketknife all loca style.

-i have a massive erection for zachary. look at him all fucking cute in his american apparel and everyone is like WALDO but he is super cute and i do not care if he is straight or gay i still think he is super cute and everything said and done i will gossip and say he's a huge MO like eager bottom MO because i can tell. i smell these things out. look at the way he is walking with his upper arms are bent close to his body then at the elbow the arms flay out and then at the wrist the hand goes close to the body again what self respecting straight guy walks like that so anygay i mean i could also be projecting my wishfulnessness of this but no. even kael said he had a boner for him so i do not feel guilty talking about this whatsoever. 3some with spock. wow.

-i have done a couple more paintings i have finished off cupid the asshole and then there is this guy who is thinking about a bunch of words that are swirling in his mind and not sure what to do about it because that is how i feel most of the time. everyone says they like them but no one buys. BUY MY FUCKING PAINTINGS PEOPLE!!!

-so as of 5o'clock i am off on a road trip to quesnel bc until wednesday. umm details to come and whether i survive this trip will be a story i am sure that will be passed on from generation to generation.

ashes ashes, we all FLL down

2009-05-22T10:47:00.001-07:00

-i am back from fort lauderdale. i am having some nice color. sun is good. but with the color i have bits of dead skin flaking off with every little scratch like my back is looking like a piece of dried flaky filo paper and when i scatch my back and i look behind me there is a pile of skin on my couch it is so cute like the pile of skin the lady with the Pedegg dumps out in the add. but other than that color, i also acquired some hot scars on my face because i am a fucking idiot with bad balance and does not watch where he goes. so it starts of with stairs...

and then there is me...

and after spending the day and the day prior in the sun i was not feeling super hot well not literally because my skin was burning but too much sun my stomach feels weird feeling...

in combination of some vodka orange juice and your results are this:

so i fought gravity tooth and nail and i lost and my glasses betrayed me and teamed up on my eye and caused LACERATIONS i really like that word better than gashes or cuts. LACERATED. i got my stitches out yesterday and i am glad because they were driving me nuts because the doctor (CCAAAUUUTTTTTTEE) in florida who stitched me up used blue thread and did not trim the ends short so from the corner of my eye i would see this blue thread waving in the air so i eventually did trim them but then they were itchy and i had accidently pulled one out so anyway i got the other ten out yesterday. now time for scars.

anyimafuckingidiot other than that florida was amaaazing. randyman and bucci were excellent host even when their guests scratch their hard wood floor with the face they still treated me well and fed me well and watered me well and i liked their pool even though randyman thinks the temp should be at 35c° even in the middle of the day. dali museum was such a great thing that i could not even try to describe what it is like to see his paintings in front of you in real life. i almost got teary but that is because i am emotional bitch and even cried during the season finale of lost but that is another story of retardedness. we also did busch gardens and that was so much fun especially coasters that take your ass up 200 ft and then drop you back down at a 90° angle is sooo much fun especially when you think you are going to die and you smell bacon no really i did on the second straight down what the fuck drop i smelled bacon.

at this moment you think you will plummit head first and die as they dangle you there for about 3 seconds...

but if i had died i would have been happy as my last meal would have been the breakfast that morning...

the waitress stared at my shirt then my plate and was like AMAZING. i know.

anybacon there were hippos and hyenas and giraffes and meeeeeeeeercats and birds and monkeys and gorillas and a tiger and leeeeeeemurs and dorchester and stuffed turtles. it was fun.

i love these two... especially when they are eating and throwing their scraps in front of me

-then to top it off on the way home i used my eye as an excuse to get bumped to business class and i did since when i changed my return after i fell i could only get economy but i played the irish charm card with a wink from the swollen eye and a sad face and i got a lady who was like pooooor bebe. done. then came home to an amazingly clean apartment, a live turtle, and rye and beer waiting for me. an excellent voyage from beginning to end.

ps-and SPECIAL mention goes to Maria the german novel loving lady from Munich who battled the rain clouds with persistance in the name of finishing her book. :squish:

shaking the florida tree

2009-05-04T05:55:00.000-07:00

blush makes burns look real.

i was gonna say i am surprised i can lift my leg that high but actually i am not.

-i have 4 more sleeps, some packing to do, then 2 business class flights, an overnight at sheraton gateway and then i will be in florida for a week. i am a tad on the excited side...

shaking the kitty return

2009-05-01T10:35:00.000-07:00

-i decided not to post in april because i did not want to so i did not but i will now again and i try to not to care that i do not post but i guess because i have posted about my life and its non-exciting'nessess for long times that i can not let go so i guess here i go again.

-so i can totally guess actually i _know_ that obviously buddy who lives above me has a new girlfriend or something cause a certain someone is banging something for a couple of nights now around like 12midnight and in all honesty i am thinking this is the first time i have had to deal with someone above me banging the shit out of something and all i hear is squeek squeek squeeek of headboards and bed frames and so on and its fun to listen to the rhythm speed up and decrease like uh oh someone is getting tired but that is because i am a loser and so nosey on other peoples lives but that is okay and then round like 1205am there is a little gross female yelp like she stubbed her vagina toe. then i turn the radio up and then go to sleep.

-i am master housesitter as i have stated before and this time it was for rodney and kristen because they went down to mexico and please do not even go near the swine flu for H1N1 SUPER DUPER VIRUS A GRAD 2009 i am tired of talking about that shit so please do not bring up the fact that peopler are dying but IN MEXICO who probably thought they just had a cold and did nothing then died BUT WHAT ABOUT THE DEATH IN THE U.S.A ya that is right i forgot about that oh thats right she was a MEXICAN BABY visiting anyway perportions are blown wide me thinks but ANYWAY so i house sat and they have two kitties named titus and amelia and i love them i am uncle jared to them

and i couldnt figure out why my earphones were chewed up...

amelia is an ice cream whore. so is kael. they got along well. except when ice cream was present. but kael was nice and let her share the stick

titus' impersonation of fags... haaaayyyy

i got to live at their super nice place for a week and i got to walk to work which was nice rather than ride transit where people are fucking disgusting and sneeze on you when the H1N1 SUPER DUPER VIRUS A GRAD 2009 is around but ya that was cool so is their patio and their gay neighbors who shower with their window open so you can sorta peak and see their upper half lathering up and then they see you staring and it is an awkward moment but you do not care because it was free.

-tanya was moving out of her place with her boyfriend and last saturday they had a party summer themed and we did the shaky faces photos and i do not have all of them because i have some classic pictures

see we are not retarded faced like normal that is a shaky face and i like how jenna's boob got in on the action too.

thieving things for theorys

2009-03-19T16:39:00.000-07:00

-so i subscribed last year to national geographic in an attempt to look smart by leaving the magazines in the bathroom so when dates come by they will see that and be all like WHOA HE IS SMART HE MUST BE IF HE ENJOYS READING NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC DURING BOWEL MOVEMENTS and i received 4 issues and then after january nothing so i called and said LADY I AM NOT GETTING THEM ANYMORE so she said they would resend me february and march and that it would take a week and that was 2 weeks ago so i am going to go down to our mailbox for the office with a axe and chop some hands off anybody who looks intelligent and who mentions anything about "something they read in national geographic..." CHOP!!!

-cupid is actually a cynical alcoholic.

-i think you should all offer me money for my paintings soon because i am convinced i am going to die of a brain tumor because i have been getting headaches since saturday when things are intense. i hope i get hallucinations.

so buy now before i die.

(why has that not been used in marketing before... brilliant)

-so i am wanting to do the lets hop on a plane and get the fuck outta here thing again so in may i am going to florida for a week and visiting bucci and randyman and after i do the haaay sunshine make me look old with your rays but give me color i head off to montreal and instead of just connecting through i am going to spend the weekend there in a luxury hotel and search the streets of mon-reee-al. then fly back business class because i am a fucking diva bitch and i do things right. i am looking forward to it and that is it.

dance of the creep sucking on irish bacon

2009-03-19T15:58:00.000-07:00

-i have been painting a little bit more these days and i just finished this one for a new friend:

i am having fun depicting people as short fat little fucks but anyway new friend had sent me a piece of writing and in it was the line "yesterday knows only one dance..." and i do not know why but for whatever reason that set off the creative juices and i painted this so then i gave it to new friend and new friend likes it but this is not the final final product i forgot to take a picture of the final final because i was too excited to give said painting to new friend but that is okay i am sure if i wanted new friend would let me over to take a picture or two then of the painting! HA!
and please note the blackeneded q-tip at the top of the picture was used to apply some acrylic ink that is not product of my ear if it was i would be concerned for my health and mind you i am sure if you took a qtip to my liver the technicolor result would be mind boggling.

-speaking of pictures... oh i can not believe i have not shared this well i have been lazy and i am aware of this but back in december i went to rodney and kristens christmas party and i got in the seasonal mood and got hammed and that night i walked all the way home in the snow from downtown to my apartment like a 45 minute walk but let me tell you hastings street is so fun when you are drunk walking home in the snow i sorta now understand why it is hang-out-ville for the drunks and drug addicts and anyway that was that now cut to end of february i get a call at work and some guy is all quick talking telling me he met me at a christmas party in december and could not remember whos party and he liked my look and wants to take pictures and then i was like UMM I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT THIS AT WORK and then he asked for my number and i said NO you can have my email and then he was all snotty like and said CANT I JUST HAVE YOUR CELL NUMBER and i said NO and so he took my email and i get this email which i deleted but said that he liked my look my ink and wants to take pictures of me in jeans, underwear and nude for his "private portfolio" and then i was super offended because fuck face did not even offer me any money like hello do you think i give this shit away for free* at least if there was an offer of money i would take a moment of thought and still say no but come on now but lesson learned leave the business cards at home when going to a function based on merry-making-drink-fest.
*if you are reading this and i have given it to you for free that is because i was a)drunk b)liked you c)thought you had money

-umm hello lovers...

-on st. patricks day i drank beer. sans vert. i do not need green food coloring in my beer to feel irish. but i hope you all drank a bit of beer or some sorta irish drink type thing. i thought of jamesons but i knew at a public place that would only lead to public not-so-goodness-like-falling-asleep-under-the-restaurant-table. been there and that does not feel irish.

bang frank BANG

2009-03-05T18:26:00.000-08:00

-so there have been like many a gang type people shooting eachother or something in vancouver and its like wow and i read in the elevator that saskatoon was deemed the most dangerous city in canada which confuses me but i guess its from last year crime rates so i am thinking vancouver will get the oscar for this years results but anyway the news is like nonstop gang gang gang gang gang death weather gang gang bang like if there is a shooting which can happen sans gangs but the new talking person will say "...and it is unclear at this time if it is gang related" almost like america did under W whenever there was an incident with a plane "...and it is unclear at this time if it is terror related" but my favorite is that there was a shooting in surrey i think two weeks ago and there is this helicopter shot of the cops dragging the body out of the vehicle and you can tote see all the blood smear all over the parking lines and its totally "file footage" that they replay over and over when they talk about gangs and death and shootings haha and i am amazed they just show that so willy nilly but hey on friday nights at like 11p there is hardcore porn on regular cable so i guess its fine but i am so turning into a cantankerous old homo... 3o here i come.HA

-friend tyler had a get together on saturday i forgot to take pictures except a couple when i found my camera hiding in my jacket pocket

thats tylers bum those pants were pretty tight

-i heart lisa you might remember her from "mimes doms and dolls"

awesome.

i like tylers parties and i like em better when i remember them which i did on saturday because i did not mix so memory type chemicals were rolling along just fine i like that it makes me feel like baby steps in the right direction.

-last saturday SA(squared) which is shaun and shari came over and we introduced shaun to zawas and then we came back and shaun put up a light that has been down ever since we moved in back 4 yrs ago and i like it up because it will give more light but the height thing that has been a bad thing for certain people but we will adjust accordingly and oh on the way back we saw frank who is the neighbor hood pussy i am sure i have mentioned frank before everyone knows frank when i walk by and another person is like hey frank i say hey frank every time too because frank is pretty fucking cool but he followed us up the back alley and shari recorded frank and he ran in the middle and shari is funny

i fucking love that. hah frank.

recommendation time: hamlet 2
i rented this with a friend based on his recommendation which was basically me asking what type of movie it was and he said "pretty fucking funny movie" so i said okay and that is a pretty accurate review. youll get raped in the face.

T is for tango

2009-02-18T18:33:00.000-08:00

-one thing that has remained a constant is tango not that i would expect much from something that swims and suns itself in a tank that is kept in my room but he has always been there so that is nice but i dont talk much about him because he does not do tricks that wow me on a daily basis to talk about but there is something strangely satisfying about watching him swim back and forth like watching fish is supposed to be a stress reducer well i guess tango is like that but with a bit more of a personality but fucking thing has grown some claws ya.

and this was when he was not even 1 yr

i still think he is fucking cute and i love him tons just not super exciting in the frisbee way but i can get him to follow my finger because he thinks it is food when he is hungry but i would do the same trick if i were a turtle who was hungry who thought it saw food.

me day memory nay

2009-02-16T18:09:00.000-08:00

-so weekend done and somewhat unscathed but that is okay me day was perfect after having a pretty excellent evening prior in the afternoon i went and gots m'hair did and then i went and shopped and i bought a couple tshirts and then you know what i totally bought another houndstooth hat but in olive color. pathetic. and then i went to zawas and ate and had a beer then went home and turned fucking ninja assasin tenchu style on the wii (!!!!) and then slept and woke up and played more and then slept. oh i also bought a new toque because the apartment has apparently swallowed my old one but then again i could have left it somewhere which is sorta like a neat seguay into the next thing and that...

is totally my memory. funny enough i mentioned it the other day but i think my brain is like no dude we dont function under certain situations like when bevys are included but not even to the point of absolute drunken stupidity then sleep like decent function and i know what i am doing then the next day its blank and then i see comments and call logs and am horrified because seriously if you know the shit that comes out of my mouth on a regular day ya well multiply that 4 thousand million times no joke friends usually do the NOW DONT MENTION [enter socially unacceptable topic that was shared with you in privacy] TONIGHT K!@#!$! and i nod and never remember if i did. i think i am figuring out the recipe for john doe state and that is mixing different races of drink. but my phone i need to fucking lock that thing or just turn it off when drinking because the call logs are the worst when you see who you called and call lengths so you know conversations were held and but nothing. hah. awesome. i did forget to take my remember fx on saturday... maybe thats my problem. i think i will invest in post it notes. lots of em. the multi colored neon ones. the bland yellow ones are totally gay and boring. i like color. they make you want to look at your notes and remember. and when your done remembering that note you take it down crumple it and then throw it away with satisfaction because you done remembering and no longer have to remember about that note. thats the best.

forgetting friday

2009-02-13T09:28:00.000-08:00

-so you know those coldfx things you can buy well they believe it or not have remember fx and we got a bottle that came free with a bottle of cold fx that was purchased for the office and i noticed no one is taking the remember fx except me because i forget alot so i figure maybe if i take them i will remember shit and so i asked co worker ladies if i can take it home and one asked me ARE FORGETTING STUFF and i said yes and she asked WHAT ARE YOU FORGETTING and i said if i knew what i was forgetting then i would not have forgotten then correct and she said MAYBE YOU JUST MISSED IT and i said missed what? and she said what you had forgotten and i said what were we talking about to annoy her and she stopped talking but now i have a full bottle of remember fx. it is just ginseng or whatever but hey you never know. was that a punn...

oh and ps. i was talking with a lady client and she does not like valentines because is all single like and she said what she does is she goes out and buys stuff for herself on valentines day since no one else is buying her stuff and i said that is a good idea client lady i will do that too so tomorrow i am going to buy me bacon and buy me a haircut and buy me a bottle of something and buy whatever i like. happy ~~valentines~~ ME day!@#! or unless i find a random person to hug and buy me stuff.

chicken pizza and shell haha

2009-02-02T18:16:00.000-08:00

-so i am back from mexico and it was fucking amazing and vanessa if you are reading this my phone so did not work down there until a person kindly pointed out that on the last day i was to manually switch the network or some bullshit... like MANUAL is that even a word these days but yes mexico was amazing and the highlite for me was chichen itza the mayan ruins and wow totally educational and touristy but i bought a book to learn more and then i even bought apocolypto because i get caught up with shit and go all out so i did and ya. amazing time happy birthday again inder shari bean and right on for flexing the birthday card as much as we could hello UPGRADES hah. this is just a small taste as inder totally has way more pictures and tons of us where we look so good in this small "colonial" town more like run down but i do not mean that in a bad way like i am better more so in a way that i am like what the fuck and where the fuck did we just get dropped off where blind beggars are being led by like 4 years old screeching about dinero but those will come ya.

RACCOOOOONNNNNSSSS!#!@ like were the resort mascots well not really but they were always running around at night time i wish they wore sweaters with the letter R on them that would have been cool.

-xel-ha where you do snorkel stuff and it was fun but it rained alot but we just stayed in the water and did not care.

-me and my fucking turtles....

-seriously google chichen itza and read you will be amazed and then read more on mayan stuff

-she was being bad so i banished her to underground... GO!!!!

le llamaré cuando regreso

2009-01-21T19:43:00.000-08:00

-i do not have much to type because all it is going to be about is mexico but you can not blame me because i think you would too especially since the last week and a bit we have lived in a blanket of fucking fog but then it will clear then it comes right back in so i am leaving. hah today the forcast on cbc.com was "fog depositing ice". ?

-mental note: when meeting someone for the first time copious jager shots within a short period of time on top of several jugs of beer does not equate to well mannered.

-oh tote check this out!@#!!!>!

fumar jugar voler

2009-01-12T19:10:00.000-08:00

-so i do not think i left my apartment at all this weekend maybe cept twice but that was for groceries (read: WINE!) and then the rest was sleeping like a fucking log or staring at my computer thinking off something to look at on the internet except porn because you can only watch so much porn before it gets boring or chafed whatever comes first so i did not do anything but i did get to develop a hatred for a neighborhood cat and if you know me you know i like cats love cats want cats but this cat no it was meowing so LOUD and in short quick bursts and it was fucking irritating and at first i was all fucking concerned like OMG IS IT DYING well after watching it walk back and forth i think the thing was just in heat but for fuck sake the WHOLE DAY well not the whole day but from 11-4 is still one massive bout of hornyness i think after 20 minutes of being in a state like that i would let whatever fuck me to put me out of my misery jesus at least i hope the cat is okay and was not dying because then i would feel bad that i sat up here the whole day wishing it would crawl into an engine somewhere...

-have i mentioned that tanya is working with me at the office true fucking story and right now she is still learning shit and i will say reassuring things to her like thats it good girl sit and no question is dumb question but inside i am thinking thoughts like these

hah no really she is good. PASSIVE PASSIVE PASSIVE!@#$!

-this is now where i will talk about mexico just to fucking rub it in that i am going and you are not unless you are shari because then you would be but if you are not shari then sorry but 2 more weeks and adios mi amigos enjoy the rain. i have been contemplating a fake base tan and then go do some shopping at places and be like DO YOU HAVE ANY SWIM SHORTS? WHAT DO YOU MEAN ITS NOT THE SEASON? OH SORRY I KEEP FORGETTING NOT EVERYONE IS GOING AWAY SOMEWHERE NICE LIKE MEXICO. yes i am that ~~annoying~~ obnoxious for serious. i have been playing more of my spanish coach while on the can. i normally can breeze through a lesson in one movement.

-recipe of the week: twice battered deep fried perogies. it is as good as it sounds. i

self inflicted inspiration

2009-01-05T18:49:00.000-08:00

-having my own laptop fucking is the best like amazing no offense dave but its not like OH I WANT TO USE THE COMPUTER... MAY I USE THE COMPUTER... WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO?... then like anger explosion but now its more like I WANT TO USE THE COMPUTER WHERE IS IT OH THERE IT IS underneath my glass of some sort oh and speaking of drinks today was the first actual post holiday back to work monday and i already can tell it is going to be more than about a week before my body fully realizes that naptimes in the afternoon and cocktails arent going to happen at work but that would be amazing if to propose 3pm 'nap-tails' where you drink till you nap and then call it a day at work. fucking motivation to work or not! i'll let you know how far i get with the bosslady ya

-and i have been trying to finish paintings cause i like to paint then not finish. i am currently on a path to rectify this hopefully but look and i am too lazy to download photos from the camera so i used the webcam thing on my laptop.

i started the fish last night and went all crazy and couldnt stop but i like that type of crazy

-im hungry so i am going to zawa's... my kitchen.

feliz ano nuevo or something

2009-01-02T14:05:00.000-08:00

-so here we are 2009 and i already have a good feeling about you well anything i feel would be better compared to 2008 because i will be honest and say that that year sucked some huge balls. but a learning year none the less but 2009 will be kicked off with a start because shari and i are going to mexico.my-han-riv-eee-air-a ... oh and because last time i went i flew back in business class i have apparently spoiled myself and so shari and i are business roundtrip. dirty thirty in style and i am excited. this is where we are staying

there is this "lazy river" that goes around the resort and you can just grab a innertube and float around drinking... um heaven much...

-and shari and i went to see marley and me and WHAT THE FUCK they should have disclaimers when movies are fucking sad like bawl your eyes out type sad because i will spoil this for you but when marley is being put down at the end i was a complete and total blubbering mess and i will never see a movie like that on purpose because leaving a theater with puffy eyes from crying so hard you are ridiculous ya not so much but the movie was good just if you see it be prepared the whole theater was crying how could you not oh marley...

-happy new year

over the couch with helicopter coated pots and pans with a side of cpu

2008-12-27T11:10:00.000-08:00

-so merry christmas. last several weeks WOW in the travel area of things want to make you pierce your fucking eyes with nails due to the weather holy shit. anyway. the snow here is madness. i have never seen this amount of snow dumped in vancouver before. and now it is just raining so that means a good week or so of soaked socks because i am awesome at stepping on what looks to be solid snow but it isnt and you slip all the way knee deep and at the bottom it is river of gutter water with no gutter to go to. so fun. anyway on the 23rd i went over to paula/dave/tanya's and then we went walking in the snow because at that time we were like yay it is so fun and nice but i am done now thank you.

-MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM STELLA THE CAT if she could put a bow on it she would have.

-i fucking dropped paula's ass in the snow!@#!

-i spent christmas eve and day in surrey at mom and dads and that was cool just to relax and not worry about anything and having tons of food at arms length along with whatever i wanted to drink and i love when i get home stuff for christmas like pots and pans and a fucking coffee maker that works the one i have now is going to be tossed on some train tracks fucking thing so ya i am tote pleased AND i went out and actually braved the snow and PEOPLE omg people yesterday and bought myself a new laptop. i have named it calvin. pictures soon. in my stocking i got this small tiny remote helicopter toy oh my fucking goodness is that thing the best way of amusing yourself so easily without drugs or alcohol. you do not understand.
i hope everyone had an amazing christmas no matter how they spent it even if you are jewish or whatever happy holidays okay.

useless

2008-12-07T16:52:00.000-08:00

-the other day i got an email from a Wu Vinson and i do not know who Wu is but Wu sent me an email that was i am thinking spam but it was one of the best spams ever like an epic spam but it has no ending i want to write Wu back and be like WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENS NEXT WU? but i doubt i would get a reply.

"Aemon's hand crept across the blankets, groping for Sam's arm. We must go to the docks, Sam.
him, then swept his black wool cloak about his rounded shoulders, slumped through the door, and
traders tied up beneath the domes and towers of the Sealord's Palace. To the west lay the Ragman's"

-paint paint paint

-i went grocery shopping on friday night. i know exciting eh but the fact that i went grocery shopping is a very important fact to mention since i have not done so in about 2 weeks which was filled with more pizza than what i should have ate.

-the last two days i have attempted to go shopping for clothes for me. i should be doing christmas shopping but for whatever reason i am not feeling christmas this year and i am not in the mood to shop for other people so that essentially means that everyone is going to get a fucking gift card. not out of laziness but out of.. well ya laziness anywayanyway i could not find one thing to buy well i did buy some more calvins because they were on sale at the bay and i really dont need them but i just love new underwear i do not know what it is but ya fetish much AND then today when i went downtown holy fucking shoot myself in the face guess who decided to go shopping on the same day as the santa claus parade downtown at first i did not notice but then when i saw all the people i put two and two together and then quickly tried to shop but found nothing and i am pissed because i have money actually to buy stuff and all i found was underwear and then the parade ended and it was like tour de familes with fucking strollers everywhere as they all raced back to the skytrain/bus/parking lot and then i like had a panic attack inside was like fuck this and went home. the end.

continuing to entertain myself...

talking electronix

2008-11-19T20:43:00.000-08:00

-i am on a liquor hiatus. my insides are doing funny things and i think they are speaking to me you know when your stomach is like i am hungry and makes those rumble sounds well i am getting those but more intense like STOP FUCKING* DRINKING YOU ASSHOLE OR WERE PUTTING YOUR FUCKING* LIVER ON STRIKE YOU SON OF A BITCH!@@#! and just not over all niceness. i know i know lets see how long this lasts but i have made a point of watching intervention but now i am paranoid that someone is going to take me to a hotel for an "interview". ha! im on to you fuckers*...

-so i have been sitting at home. a_lot. watching tv. this is my week:
monday=heroes + project runway
tuesday=fringe
wednesday=so you think you can dance canada
thursday=sytycd results + survivor
friday=sleep
sat+sun=not drink (well at least that is my plan this weekend)
and when i am not watching tv i go here and watch all the performances of sytycd over again. i am in love with arassay and nico. even though they are not partners anymore i want them to fuck* in front of me procreate and name their child after me. and oh how do i love mia... thank you for visiting us mia. <3.
oh tv.
there is this study that some dumb ass university says that people who watch tv are unhappy and that tv does not satisfy in the long haul. are you kidding me. have you seen how involved i am with my tv. and no i am not unhappy i am just fucking* bored and lonely. you go through a fucking* break up of a long term relationship and tell me what you do to keep yourself entertained as you try to figure out a whole bunch of shit on the biggest emotional roller coaster to date. its not unhappy'ness. i am a happy person. but we are allowed our alone time. i am just currently clocking overtime. and 3 hours of day light does not help either. i would be unhappy if i lived in maryland. unless the mayor was mary MURPHY!@#!@ and mia was the treasurer.

-i have finished two new paintings though:

i would title this like letting go or something but then everyone would be like oh its about the break up but it isnt i drew the original prior to so lets cop out and call it "untitled"

see-food

-i got my camera. i like it. its a canon. i figure i have busted two sony cameras three times. i know the math is weird but i did it. so i pledged to the canon that if i break this one then i do not deserve cameras. i give it 2 months. but needless to say i took pictures. and once i found the color settings... i was satisfied. sepia, black/white and nachooo-ral oh my.

-time to get that shit out of the yard m'friends...

-tanya claims nothing is wrong with her hand. ummmmmmm...

-chimmy + mariokart!!@#!@

-my skin hates cold weather and laurens jacket does not help with the redness.

-i am going to go get the laundry from the dryer because i have this fear someone is going to go through my shit and take all my fucking* calvins.

*please note i have been enjoying the overuse of fuck/fucking/fuckyou/fuckers/fuckityfuckfuckfuck.

tiredly failing bob

2008-11-10T14:39:00.000-08:00

-so when you go from 4.5 yrs with somebody to being single and only person in the apartment holy shit can we say lonely. we will just say that amount of conversation time with tango and i has spiked like you would not believe. tango is a good listener. i know if were like say 21-22 i would be out there whoring myself to no end but then again that would mean i was in a relationship from the time i was 17 and at that time i was "straight" and the use of quotation marks are obvious and intentional and i would not be in a 4.5 year relationship with a female mind you in surrey i wonder how many confused people there are out there that i graduated with who have kids and are at like a "point of no return" area in life and if that is the case that is okay i will see you at numbers in a few years as you nervously twist your wedding band wishing it were my penis.. but i digress. i am not that young and the only social event i managed to goto i just proceeded to get fucking drunk as bob ross with happy little cloud paintings which had my phone number on them to hand out to "potential suitors" shall we say and i think i gave them all to ladies who i thought would make excellent new BFF's. so paris i know.

and needless to say all i did was what i have done best and that was drink and fell asleep. nice. so no social gatherings for me in the next while. i need to sort out my inner issues that result to outer issues that result in drunk. ill get over it i am sure. oh and i lost my wig and broke my camera. story of my life. but i just purchased a new one online. its is like my first online purchase. well see how this goes. and that is a camera i am meaning not a new wig. i realized after looking at these pictures i could have drawn some eyeliner on and gone as carrot top. ugh. i will perfect bob ross.

other than that my life has consisted of me and me and mariokart wii. i have found a check list of things to unlock by copious amounts of play time and guess what i have been doing all weekend. my newest short term goal is to unlock funky kong. oh ambitions how i have missed you. dave was over yesterday and all i did was play mariokart wii while he was on the computer. sorry for being a bore dave.

-lets see. i am planning a trip at the end of january/beginning of february. it will be for shari's dirty 30 and it will either be mexico or hawaii. we are still weighing the options.

-that is it. i only posted because dave was like POST! and this is about the best i can come up with at this time. kiskis

video interlude - bit you where?

2008-10-25T12:34:00.000-07:00

-awoke for a brief moment to share this:

and um if your dog is biting "baginas" (doo dimes) and "benises" i would be concerned.

"is no my fawt"

i could quote her all fucking day long
"he can make looove but he wont have babies!"

thank you dlisted .

bitch = david

2008-10-15T22:36:00.000-07:00

-for the years that i have talked about him in my own lil world i have referred to him as bitch. he was my bitch and there were reasons i called him bitch and i called him bitch with the most love i could feel towards someone. but now i will call him by his name... dave.

plain and simple, dave and i have decided to end the relationship. dave, if you are reading this... i apologize if you do not agree with me airing the laundry so to speak but i feel i need to because i am a little exhausted trying to explain this to everyone who is OMG ARE YOU GUYS OKAY and the answer to that is yes individually we are. i refuse to use the term "break up" because to ME that has very negative connotations to it and this whole situation has been nothing close to negative. sad... yes. negative... no. we both understand where we are in life and in life i have never loved an individual as much as i have dave. we have had our ups and downs over 4 and a half years and at this time it is only right to go a different direction to further understand ourselves and love ourselves more that what we have because together we are two strong willed people who need to figure out our directions in life and unfortunately at this time we both agree we can not do this in a joined fashion.

i cry as i type this because i am sad that i can not be the person i wish i could be for him at this point and i am sad that this could not be the fairy tale ending that everyone dreams of... i dunno i am just plain sad but in this weird way i am also excited for dave and i to learn about life outside of eachother. 4 and a half years may seem small in print but when you have gone through what we have you would understand that we do love each other and that has not changed but just a different angle of light has been shed and we need to find ourselves again.

dave i love you and i always will. plain and simple. i have always been about the plain and simple. but with that said i look forward to us being the bestest of friends and understanding eachother in a different light and with that a whole new different level of love.

forever ever ever....

youtube interlude - magnificent beasts

2008-10-11T08:43:00.000-07:00

-i wake up and i check my email and then i decide to roam through youtube watching videos by doing stupid searches like cats and kittens and then follow links and watch other videos. my favorites for today

head bobbing kittens...

death metal dogs...

and britney oh my...

gunning em down

2008-10-08T19:07:00.000-07:00

-go see bitch's new page. main focus on photography... good photography in my opinion. and tell him what is in your mind when you look at his pictures in the comment section he likes comments even if they are like I AM HUNGRY or I HAVE GAS but leave a comment.

post script: did i not do warnings of the frequent appearances of the hat in pictures... pretty easy to predict especially i like do not take it off.

pictoral interlude - gong-er-oke

2008-09-24T19:40:00.000-07:00

-last thursday was sort of an innocent night originally then candice was like lets go kareoke and i was like okay but it is going to be an early night and that should be the big red flag because normally when i say that um ya pass out central. the pictures sorta tell the story by themselves... so much fun though.

that guy is kim he lives below us we were like come up for a drink and he did. nice guy

masters of ceremoies...

kandice sang dolly partons jolene and dedicated it to me and said "jared quit stealing my men..." and that led to couple of head scratches. it was cute

this is one of the many friends we made that night. i dont even know her name. we made the night

kandice does not like jaeger...

bitch and tanya went next door and it was salsa night. more like back sweat night.

then bitch got up and sang... hilarity began. seeing him sing rehab and screaming the only lyrics he knows NO NO NO the best especially on his knees

we started the whole lets dance around people singing. everyone joined eventually

haha tanya

then i got sleepy. you know... thats how i roll!!!

-special mention goes to my new houndstooth hat that you will see forever now in every picture, thanks bitch!@#$!

ode to the tv once again

2008-09-16T21:58:00.000-07:00

-oh television of mine or friends or whoevers i may be watching... how i love thee especially when you show me things like fringe... you have tapped my brain and made me feel like i am watching something smart but it is just fun. i feel like i am watching house mixed with lost and xfiles and a touch of a soap opera but oh how i will not miss one episode of thee. i just came back from hanging out at our friends house as a social thing but killed two birds with one stone and watch you at the same time. 2 birds is always good ya.

and then there is so you think you can dance canada... aka so we know we can dance better than the states. did anyone else watch the first episode to see sytycd matriarch mary murphy screetch at how wonderful we are at dancing and saying we have the best dancers in the world... that is right "its our wadda hunney!!!" (zip to the 7:10 mark and witness)

i swoon when i watch you. you have made me laugh and you have made me cry (when buddy in the vancouver auditions talked about his mom with the brain tumor... i cried in my beer...) i will remain utterly faithful you lovable thing you.

big brother. suck my cock. keesha shut up. your laugh is worse than tanyas. change channel.

heroes is returning too... ahh... and with that i will carve my ass groove back into the couch... thank you tv as you have reminded me that summer has left and winter is here.

ever yours, ever mine, ever channel nine!@#$%!

belated birthday poo

2008-09-13T17:34:00.000-07:00

-last couple of weeks been cool. 4 day birthdays cause it was my fucking birthday then work oh my gawd work throw the chair out the window and jump after it type work but whatev. i just saw this and i laughed because i know we all have had similar mornings ya

but the birthday was good and i went to the art gallery with bitch and sharon she is from trinidad and she is awesome and the krazy show was good alot more comic oriented and like old school comics littered with total dark and adult humor with massive anti-religious and very misogynistic themes too but all cool especially the japanime and viedo game part good times and then we went back to our place and got tossed cause it was my birthday.

making faces again...

i can do that shit all night and still be amused

the night prior bitch, shaun and shari took me out for dinner and it was a fucking hasselhoff friday ya.

what a good looking bunch

ya fucking good times. heres to being 2 years from 30

speaking off then the next week was shauns birthday for 2 years from 30 so it was much of the same but sorta funner ill show later.

making faces

2008-08-28T09:06:00.000-07:00

-well hello. i have been to seattle and to reno and to the office. that is where i have been. i have tons new clothes which i will show soon and i brought back a tiny bit of a sunny kissed face from reno and about 200 usd more than what i was planning to lose so that was nice. since then i have been busy with work not that i am thinking anybody cares but ya.
while i was gone bitch and tanya did this funny photoshoot with magazine cut outs and showed me when i got back and i laughed i thought they were funny so i wanted in the action

and this was taken earlier in the day and i thought it was cute. hah bitch but i wonder how many other identical pictures are out there

-i have come to the conclusion that bitch and are hermits at night time we do not like to go out and tanya is like our news bearer friend person and she brings us news of the outside world in the nocturnal hours of what songs they play these days at clubs and then i shrug and we engage in home made fun such as the above photos prove.

-my birthday is on sunday. 28. i do not see it as 28. i see it as 2 years away from 30 and that makes my breathing quicker and makes me want to buy a place and have dogs and cats and feel grown up i can not even grasp any of that well except a kitty and puppy i can deal with. i am going to rugbys for dinner with shari and shaun (SA-SQUARED!!!) and bitch and thats about it it wont be a gong show like last year well it could be a mini gong show but i just do not want to wake up at someone place i have never been on their living room floor with none of my stuff except my camelback pack filled with gin and tonic which i sipped as soon as i came too and started to run around looking for people and found some girl who was a friend of a friend laying on top of a bed in a fetal position thankfully clothed so i was like phew and then went home that was a horrible september 1st morning let me tell you.

flashback... ohhh 27... you were interesting and just another step.

-OH and bitch is getting a haircut from my hairdresser and i am excited however bitch is going in there with the adjectives to describe what he wants as FARMER and LEZBIAN. i told marc and he said he loves those and totally knows what he wants. ohmygawd they will get along perfectly.

goodbye samRO!

saturday saturday saturday

2008-08-07T13:11:00.000-07:00

-hasselhoff fridays now on saturdays! bitch keeps stealing my videos and pictures from my camera and posting them first so you may have seen this but i am awesome. this is what it is like most of the time at our apartment. you should come over.

the garden

2008-08-01T16:54:00.001-07:00

-every year there is always at least one rountine on so you think you can dance that i absolutely fall in love with and this year it was courtney and mark dancing to sonya tayeh's rountine and it was amazing.

it is on par to from last year's body language routine done by mandy moore. i watch this show and i start to dance like i am master contemporary when in reality the farthest i can move my leg up is to put it on the coffee table to rest it but i like the feeling that i think i can especially if i downed a bottle of wine while watching it.

AND SPECIAL FUCKING MENTION goes out to mirah. i never heard of her until last night and i think a part of me that loved that routine was simply because i loved that song. i now have her whole album advisory committee on my ipod.

RIZZA

2008-07-31T16:53:00.000-07:00

-miss rizza where are you in the land of 1101001011100011001010... will you ever come back... do i HAVE to use the phone... its like you moved away again... should i call you... if i did would it still be the same... i wonder... miss you. stop sleeping.
<3

recommendationary time

2008-07-29T23:58:00.000-07:00

-duma key by stephen king and i will be honest it has been a time since i read his stuff because i read alot of the earlier books where it was point blank gore/horror/scary but this book is an obvious more mature stephen king and i enjoyed it because it was a touch of geniune reality and then takes some awesome turns to the bizzare and 'surreal' near the end. yes i enjoyed it and the one reason that tells me such is because i plowed through it quicker than any book in the longest time. read it.

video interlude - olympic bound

2008-07-27T15:39:00.000-07:00

-this is a video of me showing off my amazing acrobatics ability. i was doing a "flailing frontward handspring" and i can not do a series of them but bitch convinced me to try

behind in time and health

2008-07-25T08:46:00.000-07:00

-holy lazy alert i am now posting about last weekend and it is already friday. um ya. but last weekend i did not do anything like super wonderful but i had a blast just relaxing and hanging out with friends and taking in sun and drinking and swimming. you know... summer.

this is pill popping chica dawg but she does not like pill popping and even if we hide it in salami she will eat the salami and pop out goes the pill. but she is cute. she is not feeling well.

saturday night i went out with inder...

and we drank...

got happy drunk cause...

current best friend (shari) and old best friend of elementary days of yore (shaun) are i do not know what to label it... "seeing eachother"? read between the lines. but i love it when worlds colide like this

i crashed at my parents place that morning after shari and shaun had to wrestle me home it is funny because shari jokes dealing with me while drunk takes a certain skill set like the crocodile hunter and she jokes like "CRIKEY HE IS STARTING TO RESIST QUICK GET HIM IN THE REVERSE HOLD" that is because she is funny and my best friend and the next morning bitch came and joined me for some backyard lounging and hair of the dog raising at my parents.

then we visited shari at her place with her cute dog cali. oh wait till you see this video of me doing "frontward hand springs" and then bitch is like DO 2 AT A TIME. it is funny i will have to download it later.

bitch squared

then we went to go back to my parents for a belated birthday dinner for bitch but i was HAMMED... look at my starry eyes.

i used to sit under this tree when i was in high school and smoke pot all the time.

the end.

-i have not gone for a run in like a week and it is amazing how guilty i am feeling. i will maybe run tonight but fridays... i just do not like the idea of having to run on a friday. no plans this weekend except maybe a little more sun hopefully maybe.

-also buying a wii in the summer is the dumbest fucking idea ever because hello hermit life but that is okay because my right forearm is all toned. thanks bowling, house of the dead and rampage. rampage is fun because it reminds me of the old days but the game is not that great EXCEPT FOR WHEN I UNLOCKED THE TURTLE CHARACTER. i like came i swear.

-i went to some seminar yesterday for acv and reminded myself i hate the general population of agents. they smell free stuff and they would body check their own grandmother to get to that free pen and mousepad that they will never use.

-my throat is sore and has that gross vile taste you know when you think you are getting sick and asianbosslady always says to pop tylenol like mad if you feel it coming on. i am on my like 8th pill since yesterday morning and plus 4 or 5 cold fx. i am sure that is not healthy but i do not want sickness.

-bitch just text me that he went for a jog... i am amazed and happy. good for you babe.!!! say good bye to plus size modeling! ;)

-ps... i love rhianna's new video. song is neh but i love the video.

viewing the bitch slap on mii

2008-07-16T22:08:00.000-07:00

-so i bought a fucking nintendo wii. super impulsive and i just said it was for bitches birthday and for the fact i finished my loan of 4 years so lets work on the debt with the credit cards ya. anyway we love it so it does not matter. we love our miis too

-i also love pictures of tanya and i because we are better now

(bitch already posted this on his blog but i do not care)

and loss of interest...

-bitch got fucking tossed on his birthday and before on his last day of 24 (24 ON THE FLO!) and he talks about it here and i dare you to click on the picture that he is all like WARNING at the end, ya open that up and look at that and imagine yourself at 3am going for a smoke and then step... ya thats right. hes lucky it was his birthday though he was a tote bitch but if the shoe fits... ie. bitch can you pick the sheet up (were at the beach with rizza and N and tom) and bitches response is FOR MY BIRTHDAY? NO! and the whole day was filled with his loving presence.

-i got the camera i won today.

i gave it to bitch to use so he can make his lil videos on his own camera and stop using mine because i am a possesive asshole. i recognize this and i accept this.

this is a picture of my view from my desk in my office. fyi. that is cactus club down there and at 11.30am sharp there is a line up of suits all standing outside to get it. it is the weirdest thing sorta hot too if you like a bunch of guys in suits all standing in line waiting to... mind trails...

fag food

2008-07-11T21:00:00.000-07:00

-bitch and i just created our own little blog together called "fag food" because we are bored on a friday night and we are both trying to eat healthy and we are trying new things other than pasta and perogies and beer and also bitch likes to take pictures of food while he is cooking so we will do that. we will tell you how we cooked it like two young self absored male gay martha fucking stewarts. we will also allow guest spots... ahem miss rizza with her amazing fucking pizza stone ya?

trail weight

2008-07-09T07:02:00.000-07:00

-last weekend i think or this may have been from the long weekend which was or wasnt last weekend we went to some place in north vancouver and it was okay but it was hot and i wanted to swim and bitch said he knew where he was going so shari and i were like sweet lets swim somewhere and when bitch finally got us there after walking steps it was a creek filled with people and you couldnt really swim so we sat and watched people jumping into the water and then we left it was lame i would like to go again and have that creek to myself. just me. maybe one other person but that is a maybe.

for those wondering the rating was at yellow or orange i dont know...

those are pictures from bicthes camera but i got a call from the filipino lady at the camera shop and my camera is already fixed but i can only get in there on saturday omg i can not wait.

-i am watching the news as i type this and they are talking about some apartment fire and they spoke to this old guy and he was saying something and all i caught was "...by the time they got here it was already licking the rim of the balcony!" and i sorta chuckled and was like i have done that before and realized he was talking about the fire licking the rim OF not on the balcony but it was a funny early morning mental chuckle of the whorey days.

-healthblogentry um ran more, i have put dumbells by the toilet so when one is sitting there pinching one off they can tone biceps. i have traded potato chips in for edamame, ice cream for yogurt and my everloved sourdough for flax and sunflower seed bread. seriously bitch is like WHO ARE YOU and i said I WANT TO BE NON LOVE HANDELIZED no really i am not that fat i just dont like the slight jiggle that goes on when i walk and when i was looking at pictures of vegas by the pool i had the total man-tit-fat-fold which bothers me madly. i will fix myself. i almost bought a ds game called my weightloss coach but i was then like how embarassing to take that up to the cashier who is this little fucking punk that i couldnt care less about but not even CAN I GET A GIFT RECEIPT FOR THIS would help take the OMG out of me buying that in public but whatev... hi amazon.

-i get to train a new person in the office today... fun. and then when that person screws up the first thing out of their mouth was I WAS NEVER TOLD ABOUT THAT when i told that person several times and then i hate the person. my boss has a good feeling about the new one though... we shall see.

-8 days left and 4 years of 15,000 dollars in debt ends. you can not guess what that feels like. unless you have been in the same situation.

hahah tranya. i made her mad on the weekend and she hated me for a good couple of days she may still hate me but i said sorry but she may be one of those bitches that holds on to things all internally and loathes and plots bad things. we shall see.

paint the door

2008-07-05T18:00:00.000-07:00

-i took in both of my busted cameras today to this store and i go in and their is the older filipino lady talking on the phone and i am like sweet i will tote talk this up and so she ends her conversation and says hi and she has the harsh filipino accent so she is cute in the older filipino lady type way you know the ones when you visit their house you have food in your hands in like 1 minute of being there that type of filipino lady and she said the camera i sat one wont be covered because it is obvious "impact damage" meaning i can tell your dumb ass sat on it but the second one she was like i dunno and some how hotels came up and she tells me how she booked a hotel with expedia and it did not work out so i chat her up about travel and she is laughing and like you are nice and i was like thank you and then she said she will get the second camera fixed and i am all sweet thanks because that was the one i really like and i will just give the one i won with westjet to bitch for a birthday gift.

-i have been painting all day.

-bitch took some sweet pictures last night..

-i am going to go hang out with lezbians in surrey tonight. hot.

2008-07-04T20:26:00.001-07:00

-so bitch was like look what you can do with your blog and i was like huh and he showed me so i have been playing with it cause im bored...

turning of the picturesque running tides

2008-07-02T15:40:00.000-07:00

-so if i had a camera i would take pictures of how bitch completely changed around our apartment and it is now really open and sorta separated at the same time and i like it it is a change but i can not understand where bitch got the energy to do this at 11:30pm on saturday night but he gets like this where suddenly he is all cleaning everything and goes from room to room and keeps cleaning and then when he is done complains that i did not help and i always say you never asked for help and he says it would be nice if i just offered to help him but then i always say but i did not feel like cleaning so if i did not feel like cleaning then why would i offer to assist in said cleaning and then it blows into a huge fight and divorce. not really but it can at times.

-oh wait I JUST WON A CAMERA from westjet!#$%!#$! at least now i do not have to rush to get my other ones fixed but i should have the new one in about 2 weeks. thats twice i have won stuff from westjet but i learneded after last time do not even bother with the flight prizes because they will route you through fucking halifax to get to vegas well not really we had to go via edmonton but still dumb so i just kept entering for the camera and won. good for me.

-to further the whole salad thing i went and bought runners on friday and i have actually gone running twice now but did not yesterday because my thighs were still rolling around in agony from the two days of abuse i dealt them but i like running and breathing hard and then being like FUCK I AM OUT OF SHAPE and walk and then walk and head to the beer and wine store.

-i got to meet some of bitch's family last night at his moms i met his aunt (x2) and uncle (x2) and cousin and we sat and watched the canada day fire works and ate and i love his aunt carol she is totally fun and likes drinking so we laughed the whole night and she told bitch she loves me so we are going to visit them in penticton during the summer to continue the drinking and laughing and then when we left his parents place last night we hoped onto the skytrain and we did not know but they were planning on shutting down the train earlier than normal and so we got stuck in new west and i had to call my dad again to come pick me up i am waiting for him to submit an invoice to me for all the late night COMERESCUEMEFATHER calls.

paint

2008-06-26T11:47:00.001-07:00

-remember how i said i have been painting well i have like 4 or 5 completed canvasasasases and this is one that i like for obvious reasons but they are all of similar style. it has been fun and i feel artsy. now if only people would buy my shit instead of OH I REALLY LIKE IT I WOULD BUY IF I HAD MONEY and they trot to their drug dealers to get their 2 ounces of weed. thanx.

accepting applications

2008-06-26T07:09:00.000-07:00

i want to start a boring photo project and have everyone of my friends pose with me in front of these paintings at wonderbucks on commercial. that way if i ever feel all like i have no friends i will have a book of photos of people who agreed to stand with me and have their picture taken and i can totally make myself believe i have a lot of friends.

anniversary

2008-06-18T16:29:00.001-07:00

-this goes out to bitch. happy anniversary bitch!!@#! 4 years... who would have thunk.
it was on this day 4 years ago bitch and i were together after casually seeing each other for about a month or so that i had him over for dinner, had some wine and then in a drunk state asked, "SO ARE YOU MY FUCKING BOYFRIEND OR WHAT?" to which he replied yes.
love ya tons.

recap the drink fest salads and paint

2008-06-18T12:37:00.000-07:00

-omg within the last little while i have not had an urge to sit and type about my life because it has been drinking and recovering and once i recover then commercial drive decides to have car free day where to me its more like PATIO EXTENSION DAY so bitch and i took total advantage of that and i think i am now sorta better phew. but total fun i wish my camera was not broken oh have i mentioned that ya my new camera that i bought to replace the one i broke at rehab is now broken because of the high school reunion i sat on it i know i am an ass but my issue actually it still works you can take pictures but the screen is not happy and all white and that is all you see so it is sorta like an old school camera and you are like I HOPE THIS TURNS OUT. the weather has been nice so that is good to see all my sun dances have paid off and by sun dance i mean masturbation but for some reason when it is really nice out i have the urge to stay in and paint which i have been doing quite a bit lately but i will not post pictures until i am done my little collection i am trying to work on and then take some where and say SELL THESE AND MAKE ME RICH soon i will show you. oh but back to the reunion it was awesome seeing people but i will be honest and say i was unsure how the whole IM GAY thing was going to go since most of them didnt know or have seen my status on facebook and have not spoken with me but all was good and plus half the time i was hammed and did not give a shit mind you the dumb question of the night goes to some guy who asked me SO OUT OF OUR CLASS WHO ALL CAME OUT ..... ya like i have a list of gays from class of 98 that i check and update on a regular basis so i made up some names and he was shocked and i walked away. OH and for people who know me hold on to your hats here... for the last 4 weeks i have had salad for lunch. 4 WEEKS and SALAD and i am not being cryptic with the word salad meaning a perogie/pasta/meat filled frenzy covered in oil and fat type salad i am talking spinach, feta, pine nuts, raisins and a greek dressing salad. except today. they had no spinach so i was thrown off and just got a bagel instead. it is in an attempt to lose a TINY bit of weight but i know the weekend beer benders totally throw the scales off but better than nothing. i keep meaning to find my old sneakers to start running but then the thought of looking for them exhausts me. and i just remembered at the reunion one my good friends from the day which she still is a good friend because as soon as we saw eachother it was like no time went by but she called me her "purse" because i am the best accessory and i have heard that before so i thought that was totally funny. holy bounce around on topics sorry but welcome to my brain within the last 2 weeks and one last thing go see sex and the city at least if you have watch a couple of episodes on tv and mildly laughed and thought it was good then you will love it i loved it totally and completely except for all the women at the theater were all dressed up as if they lived in new york and i felt underdressed but then i realized that i was not crazy and menstrual like them dying to be carrie bradshaw and i have to go because i am busy and this was just a im still alive post and to stop looking at itineraries. kiskis.

ugh

2008-06-09T07:11:00.000-07:00

-let me sum up my weekend with one picture...

oh okay with one more too...

EVERYONE loves me.

video interlude - bored bf

2008-06-03T06:46:00.000-07:00

-on saturday i went to my reunion it was massive fun but while i was away bitch got creative...

now i had come home from some shindig thingy and i am hammed and i love parm cheese and sometimes those two meet

umm this is just bitch drunk

this is tanya's CANUS

fighting work nice shirt

2008-05-31T09:25:00.000-07:00

-yesterday when bitch and i were coming home from work at our bus stop there was this olderish lady who was all walking in the middle of seymour st and there were some security guys from a and b sound trying to get her off the road and these people who were watching were bitching at each other cause this guy dressed in an orange dress shirt and bad tie bad hat was saying this lady needs help shes in distress blah blah and this one girl who was telling him to shut up ooh it was funny here is their dialogue

orange shirt guy: SHES IN DISTRESS SHE NEEDS HELP LEAVE HER ALONE

lipring girl: she probably stole something

orange shirt guy: HOW DO YOU KNOW SHE STOL SOMETHING WHAT IF THAT WAS YOUR
MOM OUT THERE?

lipring girl: that wouldnt be my mom cause my mom wouldnt do THAT

by this point the orange shirt guy is liking yelling in a really loud nasally voice

orange shirt guy: WHAT IF IT WAS?!?

lipring girl: I WOULD CALL HER AND TELL HER TO COME HOME...

then orange shirt guy mumbled something to her and she goes OH FUCK OFF NICE SHIRT!!!

it was fucking hilarious. i also found it funny that it took two police cars and a paddywagon for this lady.

oh and then yesterday bitch and i made our pilgramiage to the waldorf and on the way back there was this harsh drunk like 15 year old oh do not be surprised it is common in our neighborhood but anyway shes all yelling at her friends and then she runs over towards bitch and i and is saying to me ARE YOU THAT GUY COME HERE WANNA FIGHT or some shit and i just looked back at her and was like whatev and kept walking then she runs closer and i hear this so i turn around and shes like messed up in the face like ugly and drunk as fuck and shes like YOU CALL MY FRIEND A HO?! and i said YOU BETTER BACK THE FUCK UP and she says WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO HIT ME and i said I AINT HITTING ANYBODY AS LONG AS YOU BACK UP and her friend is yelling at her THATS NOT HIM GET BACK HERE and then she like walks off still yelling shit and right when we went in to our building bitch yells out FUCKING BITCHES and totally made the drunk yell her face off more but they were around the corner and could not see us. like bitch just had to get his two sense in. it was funny.

-then on thursday night i went with shari to a lezbian bachelorette party for anne and val and val has this hot brother from spain but they are english with fucking sexy acccents and sexy faces well tim did and val was all YOU FANCY MY BROTHER??? NO WAY?! it was funny and it was good times HOWEVER i missed the 2 hours finale of lost and that makes me sorta pissed but my dad was supposed to record it but for valid reasons was unable to get the full thing so if anyone knows where to find it on the net let me know pees and ques.

-what else what else OH its my 10 year reunion today!@# this should be really interesting and sorta funny because i do not even know who the girl is who is putting it together and i have a feeling theres gonna be a lot of that tonight and its at a pub and i was joking that i can not wait to show everyone what type of drinking problem i have developed over 10 years but i am HOPEFULLY gonna keep it in check because ya lets pass out at our 10 year thats nice.

-bitch just informed me that he "wishes there was a Subway in our bedroom" and i said "Subway?" , "ya in our bedroom because then it would be like so close... i want Subway." something tells me he is getting hungry.

interview for the misty TP

2008-05-24T10:52:00.000-07:00

-last night TRAN-ya came over and we watched a movie and drank caesars and the movie was the mist and at first i was like oh gawd but then it was okay and then at the end i was fucking angry what a shitty ending like i am going to spoil it if you have not seen it like they were so fucking quick to shoot themselves and then right when the guy has no more bullets and he is in agony cause he just SHOT HIS FUCKING SON then suddenly the army shows up right at that point like a whole fucking brigade of people and you can not tell me that the whole time they were driving at a fucking snails pace that they did not see these army doods what so ever since when they passed they were right next to the vehicle and ya anyway once it ended i took the movie case and threw it at tanya and told her to take her stupid fucking movie out of here and she left i rode my bike with her because i am protective of my friends walking home at 1am even though they BRING OVER SHITTY FUCKING MOVIES THAT MAKE ME ANGRY. special mention goes out to the god bat shit crazy lady who i would have shot in the beginning as soon as she started spouting end of days crap.

-(seguay) speaking of crap here is survival tip 13843245: if you have run out of toilet paper and discover this as you are sitting there and you have no paper towels in the house the best thing to do is use COFFEE FILTERS. true story. my ass was not happy but it was that or shower and i just finished getting ready for work and i had already showered so with bitchs ingenious brain he brought me a coffee filter to use. NO WORRIES NOW we went out and bought some and i splurged and got me some CHARMIN CHA CHA CHA and stuff feels like silk 300x over on my delicate brown star fish. cha cha cha.

-tran-ya is now working at zawa. i know!?@!?# we went there last sunday and after 3 pitchers of beer the owner who knows us and ALWAYS refers to my birthday if we are getting rowdy he is like OH IS IT YOUR BIRTHDAY AGAIN in an iraqi accent and i laugh he is funny but anyway he started to like interview tanya right there while she is all drunk and making squabbly laughing sounds and then he was like come tomorrow and work and she did and tonight she is working again. during the "interview" salam (the owner) kept asking me would you hire her and i would say YESHH I'D HER HIRE TOTE MAN because i was hammed. then the next day i painted her a congratulatory owl because she likes owls.

and now pictures of us because i love pictures of us and they are from two different days but same cast same place!

i like to slap tanya around it makes me feel like a man

see what i mean... its like the same photo from above just with a wardrobe change

this is frank he is our neighborhood cat seriously i watch all sorts of people walk by him pet him and be like HI FRANK everyone loves frank. he will follow us sometimes and want to come into our apartment and if there werent cameras everywhere he would be ours. done.

AND NOW another segment of the many faces of me:

this is my impression of tango

~

and this, i have been informed is what i look like when you piss me off but not enough to open my mouth but when i look like this i send out I WILL KILL YOU VIBES. perfect.

pictoral interlude - reefriday

2008-05-21T06:57:00.000-07:00

-on friday we had the pleasure of meeting trevor. NO TENSION! super fun times and cant wait to see him here again or out in toronto. we went to the reef to eat and drink non muddled mojitos and i did not know what muddle meant so i got nervous and passed the duty to rizza and she did just perfect.

1-2-3-BLINK...

1-2-3-BLINK AMANDA she just did not get it...

they were really into the camera...

and with that we said good night....

next time: tanyas interview...

pictoral interlude - rehashing vegas

2008-05-07T16:40:00.000-07:00

-so shari came by last week and we swapped pictures so these are from her camera.

our lobby

our chairs where we got fucking trashed on

in process of getting trashed

shari in process of getting trashed

why hello again you rubbing your developed body that i will never obtain because i do not have that type of concentration level

my nipples are huge when i stretch actually they are like that as is.

i was so happy with my new wonder-bread shorts. they are ugly yet gorgeous all in one.

shari and cage

then while we were waiting to come home at vegas airport

no time for viewing lady madonna

2008-05-02T15:34:00.000-07:00

-ugh. sigh. and more ughs. that is how i have felt for the last bit. bosslady has gone away for a week and with a week away comes waterfalls of work. i love words with "w" today for some weird and wonderful weason. but ya. and when i have come home bitch and i have created this mini-bed-pillow thing in our living room and we have been having movie nights where we sit and watch and fight for the last sour key. we have watch i am legend, devil wears prada, beowulf, and i finally will get to watch v is for vendetta. it is fun to fall asleep then i stumble into the bedroom at 3am and think oh fuck 3 hours before i get up and then i get up and wash and repeat. exciting i know. i got to escape over to bucci's for a bbq at his place in west vancouver so that was fun. it got messy at the end of the night. i claim someone took the rest of my gin but i know by "claim someone took" i probably drank as half way through was when things got fuzzy.
i stole these pictures from mr lea because i have been to unconscious to do anything in the evening time.

mr lea and his bf sandy who left the next day for toronto forever well not forever but i am sure will feel like forever for mr lea.

that is sharon and she is fucking fabulous. she is from trinidad. she has the accent and everything. her stories are pure funny 100% from concentrate.

then i met this peach. her name is jenn. gold star jenn.

she had me laughing to the point of fake puking.

that has been the one touch of excitement since i have come back from vegas.

-and ever since i have come back i have had beatles songs stuck in my head so i have downloaded a bunch well bitch did for me because he loves me like that and todays song of the day is lady madonna. oh and speaking of bitch he works below me now not in the sex way but in actual work way he is at the new store and so we hang out on breaks and stuff and i am sure it will get old fast but it is fun right now and will be better when it is actually spring outside and sunny oh wait spring is almost over summer i mean summer you know where the sun comes out.
i miss certain people. rizza and n. you are top of my list. miss u guys and please do not think i am being a snob just lazy and pooped. like mitzie after a walk but a long walk because i learned if you take her for a short walk she will still be wound up so i am like her after a long walk. i will rest up and get ready to rip er soon.

alpaca sun

2008-04-25T09:10:00.000-07:00

-so i am back from vegas. i have been here since sunday but i have been busy with work and i do not feeling like being all computer friendly when i come home from work but anyway vegas was great i am broke but i have a few new material items that i am loving and i have decided though i am done with vegas for a while 3 times within 2 years is enough and i can not stand all the skanks down there with their asses hanging out but yes i am not straight so maybe if it was guys in their briefs walking around just the hot ones then yes maybe i would sing a different song but the rudeness of the airhead dipshit chickypoos made shari and i crazy so we drank at the pool to make us feel better in the sun while it was snowing in vancouver.

see the guy in the striped shorts see if everyone in vegas was like that then yes please walk around with your ass hanging out and i will take care of you. shari and i loved this man even though his abs screamed high maintance but its all the same when their face is in a pillow yes. shari got some great spy shots of him. she is coming over tonight to give me swap pics so i will post those because i am a pervert.

the palazzo looks quite impressive at night.

our room. i love junior suites.

this is an alpaca and for some reason they were at the secret garden with tigers and dolphins. this guy was the epitome of cool and always looked alert but i would too if my area was right next to the snow white tiger.

awww... look at his face!!!

seigfried and roy are such homos...

we went and saw LOVE the cirque de soliel show and holy fucking shit what an AMAZING show. i say go if you are down there and yes tickets are expensive but it is worth it especially if you know at least one beatles song which everyone does so everyone should go.

viva promises

2008-04-17T06:33:00.000-07:00

-oh my goodness i have today off and i am up at 6am but that is because i am going to vegas today and i get to stay here and while down there i get to go see this all in the name of work and i am just overall excited and my insides are doing the gurgling excited sound but i have to wait till 130 ugh i hate waiting.

-last weekend was insanity of rehab'ness and in rehab fashion we just got plain fuckered and it was great time and it took me several days to feel normal again except my calves are still screaming at me because we decided to go jogging in the woods since tanya is a fucking health freak ever since she started going to the gym and had a cute personal trainer so we went with her and i was hungover and did not know better and we ran and i am out of shape but tanya pointed out i run on my toes and that is why my calves are screwed they feel like rocks painful rocks on my legs with every step. stupid working out. here are just a few pictures of stretching, tights and chinese hats.

this was like the promises uniform

anyway off to open my suitcase and second ghuess every article of clothing i have packed so far and repack maybe about 4 more times because that is the way i roll.
kisses

rehab'ing 4 real

2008-04-11T12:34:00.000-07:00

-when people have asked me what i am doing this weekend i keep saying rehab and i am not getting the response i want. instead i am getting the "oh yeah..." not the OMG REALLY I DID NOT REALIZE YOU HAD A PROBLEM but instead with the oh yeah's its like people know i have a problem and are like WHAT TOOK HIM SO LONG is what i know what they are actually thinking you assholes. but ya i am not going to a real rehab just a fake rehab to get fuckered. end story. rizza you can tote come for sure next time. let me know how tofino is though. and HAPPY BIRTHDAY (for the 14th)!@#$!

-i am steering away from work i do not know why i am just not feeling it today i guess and i came across pictures of bitch and i in disneyland from last june

look he had normal hair. he is getting his hair cut today and i said what are you doing to it and (rizza youll love this) he said "I HAVE A PLAN!" ok ok i know you have a plan but if that ski slope of a hairdo continues i have a plan of singledom. speaking of bitch and i will be celebrating (is that the right word for the occasion) 4 YEARS together. my gawd. i laugh because before i met bitch i went on a string of dates that i just kept putting out 1st date style and never get calls back and i do not know how to analyze that but anyway so when i went on a date with bitch my friend mr lea was like DONT PUT OUT so i did not and the rest is history. stupid experiment. love u bitch.

sleeping in sin with trash

2008-04-09T06:23:00.000-07:00

-last saturday was one of the roughest ever ever and ya. i was not originally going to head into surrey to see my cat but had this crazy dream and i am not a crazy dream person and let the dreams dictate my life or anything like that but when you dream of your cat making its way to your apartment to say bye to you and you wake up with streaming tears of sadness you decide quite easily to go see her so i did and then on saturday morning i decided to goto the vet with her and i got to be in the room and gave her her final scratch behind the ear right where she likes and then she just went to sleep. i cried. hard. someone said it is like losing family but i said it is harder. for 18 years this cat did nothing wrong well except scratch me because i was pissing her off but i deserved it right and ya then you decide that it has to goto sleep now but ya. i'm sad and i miss her she was always something i would look forward to when visiting my parents but anywayanyway i did get some pictures of her on saturday morning before vet time but they make me sad looking at so instead i will put a picture of her sleeping in the cat nip plant that she loved.

-this weekend we are heading to amandas place in maple bumfucknowhere and it is this huge land and they call it promises as in promises rehab because we go there to get all messed up and love life and grass and trees and ponds you know. lalohan.

-and THEN on wednesday next week i am going to vegas and i am getting excited mind you our flights lick ass because i did not realize that my PRIZE had some tight ass restrictions so now shari and i are connecting through EDMONTON for 3 hours to get there but whatev its free. i just want to get away and forget everything for a few days. it is long overdue.

-later i will tell the story of the guy in the vet waiting room talking on the vets phone (cause he originally asked to use it to call the police but for some reason was calling them dad and mom) about people in the "country" of surrey are after him and how he his selling COCAINE (he would say it really loud too) to just stay off the street and he is not sleeping with joe's mom and i wanted to rip his face off but in surrey you just do not know you know and so my mom was like jared you should go outside and i was like no and i gave the guy harsh squint eye like FUCK OFF I AM ABOUT TO PUT MY CAT DOWN AND YOU ARE TAINTING THE EMOTION WITH OUT RIGHT ANGER AND I AM NOT HAPPY and then he eventually left after calling his dad a goof for complaining that he is always asking for money and i was like WHAT THE FUCK because the whole time the reception lady was not there so it was just my mom and i who got to witness that and then he comes back and asks where a pay phone was and i was like OUTSIDE YOU SHOULD GO USE IT and he was like really i did not see one and i said ITS THERE AROUND THE CORNER YOU SHOULD GO USE IT and he was like thanks and walked away and i still wanted to suffocate him with a bag of dog food. then my dad came out of the other room after the dogs check up and saw my mom and i and was like WHATS WRONG and we both rolled our eyes. so that was just the story. the end.

patches

2008-04-03T19:18:00.000-07:00

-i just finished speaking with my parents and they are asking if it is okay to put down my cat that lives at their place because she is old like 18 years old and i totally understand and knew it was coming but i can not stop crying and it is the annoying crying where the tears just wont stop and i totally understand why they asked because she is losing weight like mad and she is now completely blind and is falling off counters and they do not want her to get hurt and my dad asked if i wanted to go out to surrey to see her and i said no just please put her down and that was the hardest thing to say because i do not want to be selfish and have her possibly hurt herself between now and then since she apparently is losing balance and almost fell off the staircase from the second floor last night. i do not even have the energy to go searching for a bunch of nice pictures of her to post because it will make me more upset and teary and snot filled. i just keep remembering how when i was living at home and i would come home bummed out because of some trivial aspect of life she always found me and would sit in my lap and i would pet her and she would purr because no matter what she loved me and that made her the best cat. i am quite sad right now.
update: i found one

weekend pasta trip of sin

2008-04-01T22:47:00.000-07:00

-i had a good weekend. friday was margaret cho and she was fucking hilarious of course. the opening act was some dude dressed as a female singing about shoes and is this huge youtube thing but i am not sure why and i have not looked for him on youtube because like i said i was not huge into it ya and then cho came out and she is awesome in that she is completely and utterly gay friendly or as she would say queer. the show had me laughing the whole night but the ONE thing i could have done without was the lezbian behind us because each time the words 'pussy' '2-way-dildo' 'eat me out' or anything vaginally related she fucking yelled with joy and it was like yes we get it your lezbian you do not see me yelling everytime she says penis. shut up. but then i laughed and it was okay.

saturday was lets have the regulars over and drink and shari was here and we made pasta and loved photos.

shari thought the garlic smell was coming from me...

then the night got messy.

sunday bitch was like lets go somewhere so we went to granville island

and then it sank it that it was sunday. so i did what every one does on sunday when they realize it is sunday.
buy candy.
lots of it.

and that crazed look is because when i was standing there i realized i just spent $9.87 on candy by accident because scooping out your own candy bag is overwhelming and fun and saddening all in one big burrito.
so i did what i normally do.

-in other news i am going to las vegas on april 17 with shari and staying at the palazzo for 3 nights and i am so excited at how this all worked last minute. it was supposed to be florida but for certain reasons that is not all fitting in the picture so last minute molded this and i am happy. i love my job.

foot-a-diddle cho slave ID

2008-03-28T13:44:00.000-07:00

-tonight is cho.!!@# i am prepared to laugh.

-bitchs foot is better. it was just a sprain. i am still irritated with st.pauls and how much of a joke that hospital is. we wait and wait and wait and after 6 hours i am like HELLO and then one lady is like let me find another doctor and it turns out the one originally looking at bitch had just left i dunno i guess she had a yoga class to attend. fucking bitch. anyway. so after 6 hours a doctor who looks like santa in off season told him it was just a sprain use crutches yada yada. he will be working next week good because i can not afford life for the both of us.

-since his foot has been on the notsogood side i have tried to be a very nice bf and help him with stuff and if he needs a glass of water i will go get it for him as long as he says please if he does not then i do not respond to him and then he will try to slide in the please after and i still will not respond because i want it in a full sentence with no delay like he means it so he will then repeat himself and i will glare at him but get him a glass of water but this morning he was walking around sans crutches so i pulled out the laundry hamper and said YOU CAN DO LAUNDRY TODAY so now i get to catch up on the slave driving. the lowest point was when he asked me for a qtip. i laughed and kept watching tv.

-when i get ID'd these days i think it is cute and i usually do the playful smile roll of the eyes like YES OF COURSE BUT THANK YOU and hand over the ID well last night i was walking up commercial and the weather decided to dump another heavy load of massive hail while i was walking because the weather is all fucked up like that lately this morning it was snowing hardcore then stopped and the sun peaked out and now its cloudy and i think tonight we will have a heat wave anywayanyway i was walking in the hail and i make it to the liquor store in time before closing and i grab a 8pack of moosehead and goto the counter and there is this girl i have never seen working and she asks for my ID and i did the playful smile roll of the eyes like YES OF COURSE BUT THANK YOU but when i looked in my pockets i did not bring my ID because I just brought cash not debit and i carry my debit with my ID and i then had the horrified look like NO I DONT HAVE IT and i say AUGUST 31 1980 quickly to prove i know my birthday and she gave me the sorry shrug and i was like FINE and she said THANKS FOR TAKING IT SO WELL and when she said that i wanted to turn around and smack her face with the 8 pack but i just left and hauled my ass off to the waldorf where i knew i would not get denied since they are like family since i have moved in the hood. i should have just gone there first so moral of the story is that yes getting ID'd is cute and flattering when you have your ID but when you do not it is the most obnoxious and irritating thing especially when you do not have time to grab the ID and go back and throw it in her face and be like SEEEEEEE all 18 year old'ish even though i am 10 years plus that. i mean moral of the story is just goto the beer and wine where everybody knows your name. or just bring your ID.

short

2008-03-23T12:56:00.000-07:00

-so remember when ya well bitch hurt it again and it is because when he broke it back when he never wore the boot like he was supposed to so i am positive that it never healed properly and so now he is a cripple and he did it from doing the queef at the met.

message stroke

2008-03-15T11:41:00.000-07:00

-another random thing with eyes.

and this is forming into something i think...

-i am starving and it is saturday morning and i want bacon. and it is really sad right now because i brought home my old computer from work since we got new ones and bosslady was just going to throw out the old ones and i was like NO i will take it so i did and just wiped out alot of stuff and it works great and now i can talk to bitch by msn and it remains quiet i like that i just sent him a message saying lets go eat breakfast and i will treat and he is like WHY CANT WE JUST TALK hah shhhhhh...
the other night we went out with shari. she is visiting us more often. i like that because i have known shari foreverever. we went to our watering hole.

and we ate. and drank. and then we left.

total beer bloat + chilly = perfect photo.

and i love this because it is symbolizing my awesome power of talking and making annoying sounds and the reaction from people near me. she loves me still though. shes seen wore as well.

-i have noticed commercials on tv where there is someone singing i guess someone who is very mildly popular about a province. i have seen ontarios and i think it was some other east coast province but they are funny and i guess supposed to boost tourism but the marketing is obviously aimed at a demographic i do not fall into and mine is psuedo-married-white-gay-twenty-something-with-drinking-problem-who-works-and-stress'-too-much.
whoa i just found one for ontario but in 1984

oh oh i got excited when i saw one for bc too but it sucks. you can not follow the ontario one.
the swans were fucking ridiculous though. i am going to have that stuck in my head all day ONNNTAAARRRIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOO.

-bitch is getting dressed so i guess that was a yes to the 'lets go eat' request. bye

six tings

2008-03-10T19:01:00.000-07:00

-bitch and i went to a new restaurant on commercial called the reef and it was good we had their JAH dip which is like spinach artichoke dip with jalepeno and then tacos with jerk chicken. their stuff on the menu was split into groups of 'tings' and i thought that was cute because it is like a caribbean person saying the word things and then on i painted and then hung out with shari and then i fell asleep.

-a while ago rizza tagged me to do this thing where i talk about 6 things so um here.

1-i was born breech. i am not sure why but whenever i have to tell people an odd fact i like to share that information because i think it is funny and then people will put two and two together and see the obvious stupid humor in it and then everyone is slightly less uncomfortable and then people talk more because they think hey whatever at least i am not a gay who was born breach. haha ooooooh frank..

2-i have smoked for almost 12 years and i am only 27 and when i say that to myself it makes me feel like quiting in a big way. its fucking gross to be honest. but i have tried and i fail but i think i need patches and gums or whatever just help because cold turkey is so like nicotine masocism. it sucks. i would like to say this will be the year but for sure before 30. whoa as i am typing i am thinking and i have made the promise to myself in my head and i feel good about it. good.

3-i would love to quit my job and just paint and live off that. nothing to deep about this pretty self explanitory. i like painting and lately it has felt good and feeling good about stuff is a thing of awesome overall.

4-if and when i have a child i am one of those vain assholes that would have to name my child with a name that begins with a J because i am self absorbed and i of course like the letter J so my child should have a name with a J but not jared that is over the line but for sure J. bitch this is not up for discussion. if there are two the second one is yours. enjoy.

5-i wish i could break the habit of making mental lists. i make them all the time. i wake up and i a)need to make coffee b)shave c)iron d)grab any files from work and stuff in bag and then i go to work and then i make more lists of what to do and then when i leave i need to go shopping for a)butter b)milk c)sugar d)TP e)qtips etc etc and then when i am heading home i think i need to a)do laundry b)iron c)set up coffee maker for the next morning d)do some work and pull out the files from the bag to remind yourself to work and then i fall asleep because i am exhausted from the lists and repeat.

6-when i first meet people i am so extremely socially nervous and inwardly awkward that i say weird things to be funny and it does not work so then i drink alot and then so if i ever meet you and i start to drink it is because i am nervous because i like new people who are interesting. if i do not drink i am not interested in you in anyway or i may just be sleeping because i do that but usually after drinking.

unkink II - (proof) show your work

2008-03-03T06:57:00.000-08:00

-as further proof all i did this weekend was this guy not like did in sex but did in like painting and squinting and standing back and liking. this is one of my favorites so far.

unkink cho bush

2008-02-29T09:33:00.000-08:00

-back in high school art class i was a creative little fucker. i would draw and sketch all the time and one term i had art the whole day which was heaven because then i would go out at lunch and get stoned and produce some of the best art and my teacher loved me and one time she gave me back my sketch book assignments and she gave me 99/100 and i asked what had i done wrong to lose the one mark from perfect and she says no one is perfect because everyone will always improve with their art if they keep practising needless to say i loved that women and she was the one to introduce me to salvador dali. anyway come graduation and then just life in general the creative flow just sorta stopped. i periodically will draw something here and there but nothing extreme. the odd idea to paint. then everything gets put away again for like 3 months because i am stumped mentally and i grab a drink which i can easily assume probably is the reasoning for the deadening creative'ness. i am not sure what has happened maybe because i have a rule of no drinking on weekdays nows but lately i have just been thinking of all these great things to produce in the art way and i am loving it. it is like when you were a kid and you would have the garden hose and your older brother would kink it so the water would stop coming out and then you would cry and cry until mom came out and scolded your brother and then let the kink go and the water just comes flying out again that is what it is like but in my head. and so i picked up the paint brush again in i do not know how many months and started small because i have some big ideas i need to bring to life... so i started with random animals because i am good at that.

addition:

its a teabag with eyes. because i put eyes on everything. surprise dawn. yes you will get this soon.

and this is one ..

is going to be the big brother of this guy, remember him.

at this rate i can think of having my own art show instead of just going to them. mind you i am getting all crazy and trying to paint lines behind everything to make it all coheesive (sp?) but bitch says i do not need to because the style is apparent but this is coming from the kid who asks me where his robe is and he is standing on it.

-have i mentioned we are going to margaret cho in march. i love her. actually for some reason alot of gay people do. omg i am gay mainstream now!@#!

-i want to keep growing my facial hair out to a big bush. but i can not because of work. professional + face bush = invalid equation. but i love face bush because it hides my bad skin. when the weather gets warmer or colder from seasons my skin does this dry scratchy bullshit thing and i hate it. sorry face bush. each time i read my typing of "face bush" i think facebook. dear lord. can you imagine a face book dedicated to unmanaged face bush?!?

gum bomb

2008-02-23T10:10:00.000-08:00

-so i had a dentist appointment yesterday in the afternoon because i do not like drilling in the morning in terms of dentist stuff and what i had in mind of what was going to be done to fix the tooth was completely way off because i pictured like rubber dams and some scrapping and drilling and smoothing and him saying BITEDOWN DOES IT FEEL EVEN and if i did not have a damn in my mouth i would be UM DENTIST MAN MY MOUTH IS 80% FROZEN HOW IN THE FUCK CAN I TELL IF MY BITE IS EVEN?!>?!? but instead i nod my head to make him happy like he has magical tooth shaping skills but no none of that just freezing then cutting and sewing of my gums and when i saw the thread come out i thought oh no he got me mixed up and he removed a tooth but no after gauze and gauze of blood and stitching and stuff he tells me that i broke the tooth below the gum line so he had to cut the gum down to smooth out the tooth from there etc etc etc and now i have this gumlooking shit on my teeth where he cut because it is like a mouth bandaid and it feels like there IS gum all over my teeth and i just want to pick it off and i am supposed to leave there as long as possible (to next friday) and to only brush one side of my mouth um gross.

and ya. so afterwards i went and bought myself a ds game to make myself feel better and it really did not work my mouth still hurts but now i am wildly entertained by bomberman land touch 2

and then bitch was like i know what will make you feel better

and he was right because he is my bitch and he knows how i roll.

-i woke up this morning at 530am and i could not get back to sleep so i got up and made coffee and watched big brother on youtube and then after watched the news and then read that people are dropping like flies in the bb house which is funny and still makes it the best season ever well the one season where the guy was like WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF I CUT YOUR THROAT to a girl he liked all seductively lindsey-vanessa style but got kicked off for being a freak but this season is still pretty good. then i kept watching the news this morning and when sports comes on the sportscaster keeps talking about hockey players who "have tweaked their groins" and i told bitch that i want to join hockey and tweak groins but then i sorta realized it was an injury and i wonder how people tweak groins i know how to tweak my groin but not in the hockey injury way of course. tweak groins. hah. hi grade 8 mentality.

ps-i changed my url because of reasons. note it.

stress crack and pop

2008-02-21T06:45:00.000-08:00

-i dislike this week so far. office = stress. come home relax. ooo starburst i will chew on this and then crack oh look a piece of my tooth decided to leave me. that is nice. i guess i have to call the dentist and get him to work through his lunch like he did 2 months ago and then when i say thank you dentist man for takng the time to fix my mouth he just walks away because he is apparently all about the warm and fuzzy feeling. i broke it 2 nights ago and i still have not called because i know i get speeches on crowns and stuff and well if he will be paying for each 700.00 crown they have quoted me then by all means lets do this but when i am living pay cheque to pay cheque due to loan madness i am thinking a skittle could fit in the hole nicely until july. mind you i know my tooth problem is nothing like rizzas wisdom pulling.

-then i woke up this morning and bitch had to work early so he was up and he said good morning and i said HGJKDALIYU COFFEE? and he said the coffee maker decided not work this morning and it does this thing where sometimes if you press on it is like fuck you and wont work and so i stared at it for a long time willing it to work and it would not so i got ghetto and boiled water and just poured it in slowly and made a cup of mean strong coffee and then as i am doing this the coffee maker is like CLUNK and then started to work. ridiculous.

-now i am sitting here thinking about all the work i have to do today, tomorrow, the next day and at this rate i will visit the office on the weekend.
i wish it was last weekend again where we went to an 'art show' and the bartender lady was a complete cow because i went up to her and said I WILL NOT GET ANGRY IF YOU POUR A COUPLE OF SHOTS IN FOR FREE and she said okay and then on slaught of drunk.

-but i guess it is not all that bad a client sent me flowers and i like orchids and i guess she knew so that was nice.

dogfather

2008-02-19T06:36:00.000-08:00

-on saturday rizza and N went to whistler for the day and asked if i would watch mitzie and i said of course and now my blog will start looking like rizza's with pictures of mitzie all the time. suckers. notice the hairdo though i went for a haircut between all this.

aww..... MITZ!!!

then we just HAD to try the masks on...

leave it to bitch to turn walking the dog into vogue central

and then after we got some lunch

bitch and i agreed if we were ever to get a dog we would want it to be like mitzie because she is the sweetest and smartest and most loveablest dog. good parenting points to rizza and N. i am the new dog godfather and bitch is the godbitch.

digging towards the reno love

2008-02-14T23:01:00.000-08:00

-i love that jane fonda said cunt on tv and everyone is like WHOA YOU CANT SAY THAT which i understand you can not but it is still funny that she did not even flinch when saying but merideth had this look of OH MY GAWD but at the same time you can tell she wanted to high five the bitch. i do not like to say that word though because i think it is a vile sounding word not bad just vile sounding but if i do say it i say it with a K because it is not as vile.

-rizza not to gush about your child but i love your child as well and how can you not ya

-oh its valentines. bitch knows i can not stand this day so i surprised him with a tiffanys ring hahahah no no i am not an idiot i just bought him a 6 inch teddy bear from shoppers but he loves it none the less and i got nothing. love you bitch.

-i am in love with tv these days. not actual emotional love just absolute tie the rubber band around my arm because lost and big brother are amazing in that DO NOT BLINK until commercials way. i am proud to see big brother realized there are gay people out there that are not complete and total nelly fucking twinky fags or just obnoxious fat flamboyant balding people. and lost... i do not know where to begin. and then my week will get even better because top model is starting because i am a total nelly fucking twinky fag inside that loves that show too.

-i am planning a trip in april to florida. fort lauderdale. sunshine. then in august i am nurturing my microscopic gambling addiction that i got from my mother along with her fucking things and going to reno with ma and pa and bitch. i mean 99cent breakfasts and keno all at the same table. hello. i know people think RENO??? yes reno because i can not afford vegas because vegas is expensive and overwhelming. and i know reno inside and out since i have been going since i was 14 when my mom would want to go but dad would be all I AM BUSY DEAR and then next thing you know it i am on a plane going with her to keep her company but i would not really keep her company because i would hang out in the arcades and only see her when we went to eat or if i needed more quarters. whoa i am going into memory lane and when i was 16 and went she promised when i turned 21 she would take me again and she did and this is from when i turned 21 and she held good to her promise and i got drunk and SUPER sunburnt(notice pink skin) and i had to sit in a tub of cold water and shiver to feel better. ahh reno.

whistling all the way off the auto-men

2008-02-12T20:46:00.000-08:00

-on the weekend i joined bucci caspar and justin to whistler to do a get the fuck out of dodge trip and so we went and no not because it was fag central up there this weekend it was what do they call winter pride or something but we just hung out in the condo for most of the time except to get food and booze and it was fun and there was alot of snow thanks bucci not for the snow but thanks for having us and on the first night we drank. and then bucci claims i fell off the footstool or autimen and i am convinced he pushed me off and i just do not remember

the whistler guide for hipsters or losers

see gay signs

see gays. i know they are gays because they are my friends.

see told you they were gay.

my drunken salad

then i borrowed buccis head lamp because i thought it was great.

oh hi sepia

oh hi justin

then bucci chopped wood and i took tons of pictures of it. but i will not show them all.

the money split shot

oh and on the friday night we decided after drinking beer champagne vodka goldschlawger wine (red and white) to go rip the mats off the bottom of the slopes and slide down them and then i got a sudden drunk panic attack in the middle of the woods in the middle of the night as we were heading to get the mats and i was like WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE I AM WITH WHO ARE WALKING AHEAD OF ME and i totally stopped where i was and started yelling I CAN NOT GO WITH YOU WHO ARE YOU WHAT ARE WE DOING I NEED TO GO and bucci was like what the hell and said fuck a couple of times to me but when he walked up and i saw i was with people i knew and not going to get lost in the forest in snow on whistler and die then i was fine and was like HEY BUCCI OH ITS YOU I AM FINE LETS GO and we did and then i do not remember the night but they said after we went back and drank more for like 3 hours and I WAS AWAKE and i actually contributed to conversations and they said i was funny.

it was fun. there are tons of pictures but they are all of me caspar justin and bucci and a lot of them are blurry which sort of represents how we all viewed the weekend.

video interlude - a MAN from earls

2008-02-06T19:22:00.000-08:00

-bitch took a lot of video saturday night. he thinks he is tmz. i swear. he interviews elizabeth...

and then bitch runs into some lady while trying to show off his D&G jeans he got for like 5 dollars at value village and elizabeth is marreid and told the lady to fucking relax. hah.

video interlude - program conversation

2008-02-05T07:24:00.000-08:00

-elizabeth and N got married. it was special and i cried. i will show pictures later. after in the evening we met up for they just got married drinks. here elizabeth and i conversate as programmers and i laugh everytime i watch this because i think it is funny.

that is all for now. i will talk later okay.

smallish pictoral interlude - zebrateatree

2008-01-31T22:10:00.000-08:00

-what is it about a new camera that makes you think that with a new camera you can take pictures and be all i am a camera man who takes artsy photos when it fact they are just pictures of tea cups and small little plastic pagodas by a braided tree plant. and of course hello sepia thank you for coming too.

drink the rizza ash

2008-01-30T20:23:00.000-08:00

-because i wanted to prove to myself that i can control things with myself and for health and because i am convinced my insides would make pinging not so good sounds if i did not take it easy a tiny bit on the drinking i have not been all mr hardcore like i used to because i used to be hardcore have i mentioned this see that is another reason because i can not remember anything but i have taken it easy and it is nice. i used to always buy a six pack or a bottle of wine after work and consume and then i would like to consume and then so i would keep consuming because that voice that is inside that should say OKAY THAT IS ENOUGH well it would never be there because it was drowning and i would swear it said MORE MORE and so i would drink more and then i would wake up and go to work with my head doing pounding sounds with every step i took. i have not had that feeling for a while and i do not miss it. tonight tanya was over to keep me company and watch tv and i made pasta dinner and i did bring home some beer for dinner and after 2 i am actually done. it is a nice feeling to say okay i am fine thank you for coming. do not get me wrong when friday is here i let loose because everyone needs a release but at least i wake up on saturday with a sorta-hazy-recollection of how i got home compared to WHEREAREMYCLOTHESKEYSMONEYSMOKES
OHMYGODINEEDMYSMOKES
WHEREARETHEYBITCHHOWDIDWEGETHOME
DIDWEFIGHTWHATHAPPENED!@#!@?!#? thoughts.

and that way when i make cards for my friends birthdays laughing at the matter of me falling asleep everywhere from drinking are just laughs not bouncing thoughts of intervention.

-i am excited for saturday for elizabeth and for N. i know i have said this already and no i did not forget already just that i am excited. i like weddings. big or small. plus i just love rizza and N. and elizabeth knows how to steal you heart. especially when you get a bar bill.

and so does mitzie. mitzie steals your heart when you see her and she brings a toy to you and does the ass in the air IM WAITING pose.

and N too. but my favorite thing is to hug N. he is taller than me. i would have a picture of me hugging N but i do not because i am too busy hugging N to be concerned about taking a picture of me hugging N. i will in the future okay.

-ps. i like my new camera. i like the sepia option. it is obnoxious.

witness the inder snow

2008-01-29T21:08:00.000-08:00

-elizabeth and N are getting married. and on the west coast. so i get to be there. and watch. i like watching things and now i get to put my name on their paper known as a license to prove i like watching and saying that i watched and it happened for reals. congrats you two!@# can not wait for saturday.

-last saturday i went to surrey and partied with shari aka inder and no i do not call her inder because of any indian background because she does not have indian background but there is a long story and no body finds it funny so i will not bother telling it. anywayanyway we partied because it was her birthday. 29.

this was the first picture of the night and i was like OH NO THIS IS NOT A GOOD SIGN but it was not bad because we did not get all retarded alien looking at the end of the night. phew

take 2

shelly said cheesedick and if you have ever experienced cheesedick you would make the same face for sures.

inder did a muffdiver and the camera would not focus i do not know but it sort of is funny because that was how i was feeling probably at that point

the polish people behind us were talking so loud and by talking i mean yelling at each other about polish things i guess so we drew pictures to entertain us and shari liked my dog.

shari was channeling her asian that night NEEEYOOOWWMA

the next morning we went walking with kali

and it fucking snowed like no tomorrow.

video interlude - lotr recap

2008-01-24T07:25:00.000-08:00

-i went and bought myself a new camera because i was not going to wait for bitch to buy me a new one because i do not like to wait and bitch will pay it off in other ways so please do not worry for me okay. last night we went to eat and i do not know how but i asked if he had seen lord of the rings and he was like yeah and i said i thought you have not and he said ya and i said what happened in it then and this was his recap.

he obviously has seen it ya. but i do love his bobble head motions.
ps it was all blurry because i did not know how to operate my camera because it is new and apparently it does not like b/w film mode or something i do not know i still do not know all of it because it is new.

wrestling the hockey cameras

2008-01-17T19:06:00.000-08:00

-have you ever felt really uninterested. i have been lately. just with everything and with people all dying and stuff it has made me a little neh about general stuff. like bitch losing my camera. ya i am little upset about that but it pales in comparison when i get a phone call that someone work related was found dead. not someone i work with in relation to clients and how another person was hit by a truck and died. and so on and so on. i told bitch that i am upset about the camera and i expect him to do the right thing about it and he said AWW I LOVE YOU TOO and then i said UMM OKAY YA ME TOO BUT THAT IS NOT WHAT I AM GETTING AT and then did not have the energy to explain.

-mind you prior to all that i went to a hockey game with skwirl and man skwirl and it was fun i have not been to a hockey game in forever and it was fun. the beers are still over priced and watered down like i remember but it was still fun especially the filipino lady beer server who flirted with me and i flirted back to get more beer but my fake-straight-flirtyness did not penetrate the wall of duty and served as she was supposed to. then i came home. tanya was here and her and bitch were doing whatever they do

and then i got tired and could not get up or i just fell i do not really remember

and nobody helped me up and i was sad.
then i was all settled in then tanya decided to touch my feet and if you know me you would know that i do not like to have my feet touched because i just do not like it and i will rip your face off but tanya decided to risk her life

and that made me angry and she was able to fend me off for a time

but then i showed her

and she got what she deserved. me on top.

so we fought. and then it sort of died down but then it got rowdy again and i showed her rowdy

THAT WASNT VERY NICE!!@#!
and that was that. then i fell asleep. then bitch and tanya went to a club to dance to some music and take pictures with my camera and then bitch lost it and then i woke up and ya.

the end.

next week: more of the same. sans camera loss. because i do not have a camera any more.

front lobe bath robe and NYE

2008-01-04T19:11:00.000-08:00

-first off merry christmas. second. happy new year. late i know. sorry to those who did the group texting of merryment and i did not reply. i was too busy watching PLANET EARTH the best fucking documentary ever.

my brain has been hurting the last 3 weeks. not like figure of speech type hurting and woe is me i was thinking type hurting but actual hurting. i got all fucking freaked out and looked up all brain disorders or things wrong with your brain that can cause random and multiple points of pain around your cranium and no not starbucks board games type but my fucking brain. then i realized i drank for a good 2-3 weeks straight because that is what you do when it is holiday time ya. but now i have not had a drink in maybe 4 days now and it is weird and some what comforting. and my brain is actually feeling better and i know you might be like go see a doctor but i am the type of person that does not like doctors unless it is unbearable pain that is not going away from ignoring it then maybe but then when i do they blow the file off like WHOA YOU HAVENT BEEN HERE IN A LONG TIME stupid doctor humor i guess and make me feel like an asshole.

-i got some good stuff for christmas like a turkey dinner at home. i used to dispise turkey dinner because i was afraid of gravy and when i told tanya that she almost hit me she was so surprised because she says gravy consists of everything i love and when i asked her what that was her reply was like meatjuice or something. i think it was a gay joke. so i put gravy on my turkey now and it is amazing how the turkey tastes maybe like 3000 times better. thanks mom. and dad. and for all the great stuff especially the new robe that is made from babyskinasshair it is sooo soft and i wear it all the time.

-new years was quiet. of course it was just tanya bitch and i.
and we drank. that was my last day of drinking in fact. i did not even have a drink the next day to "take the edge off" which usually means marathon drinking party but we just sat here and drank and played scrabble and took pictures of us because like we do not have enough as is. i got to take a picture in the day of tango in a post-turtle-yoga pose. he never will stand still or yoga still when i try to take the picture and then he flips out and thrashes around and goes back into the water like a freak.

i know i need to clean the glass.

then for a while maybe a couple of days before new years tanya thought bitch hated her like for real and it was so funny because it was just bitch wanting one night alone like fuck off tanya jesus but he did not hate her and so she bought him this tree/plant/thing as a peace offering because bitch goes from quiet native to fucking WAR CRAZED INDIAN hah not really but the mental picture is funny ow brain pain.

i told the tree thing it saw its last day of braided'ness the moment tanya bought it because we do not know how to braid trees...

tanya was rolling some paper or something i do not know umm and she was getting annoyed with me because i kept making the flash go off and i did it again and then WHAM the best picture ever. it is like the ummm rolled piece of paper is the biggest umm rolled paper in the world and just hovering but in fact tanya threw it at me. i know.
but mean while in the kitchen...

. . .
he puked shortly after and not over any balconies thank the fuck but at one point we caught him opening the kitchen window and when i yelled BITCH NO PUKING OUT THE WINDOW as a joke he then closed the window and was like ohhhh. thank the fuck i said something. then he said hi to the toilet.
to ring in the new year we took pictures of what we look like in case we get kidnapped or stolen or theifed away from eachother and in case we need recent photos of us in 2008.

so with this people would look for a girl looking continually confused.

so with this people would look for a girl posing randomly in an ugly ass sweater that is going to get thrown out one day when said girl is not looking.

and so with this people would look for someone who just did not care but then they would not care and just go WOW WHERE DID YOU GET THAT TOQUE and i would reply at some cool indonesian store going out of business on commercial where everything is cheap and they bargain like its mexico because i would not actually be kidnapped.

christmas eve and knowledge of anger

2007-12-24T10:26:00.000-08:00

-okay so i have been reading the daring book for girls and this book is amazing. it is filled with information that apparently girls do not know and surprise i do not know like how to put your hair up with a pencil and 5 basic karate chops. the best.

like seriously. anyway after reading some of this bicth me and tanya got so excited we had to go drink mind you bitch is still sick and he is being one fucking grumpy prick. so when we were sitting there and he was like mumblemumblemumble i wanna go home and so i said go home and he did. it was super easy. so tanya and i stayed behind and i talked spanish with some bum who just wanted a cerveza but i was like no hablo espanol para muy puqito or something and he then would start rattling off more spanish and i was like NO COMPRENDE because he was making me nervous. poor spanish guy. just wanted a beer. too bad he was asking the biggest selfish lush around.
and while bitch was still in our company i was like lets do the three faces of anger (i do not know it was the b52's talking)

moral of the story. tanya is a retarded angry person.

then tanya was like look scared and i pictured her angry face again...

worst girls disorder

2007-12-22T17:26:00.000-08:00

-this week has been hell. not hell like buring type hell just hell in the sense that it was emotional and stressful and just non stop but it is over and i am off until the 27th which is good so i did what every self respecting drunk would do... got drunk. and opened presents and we had the chinese gift exchange or whatever its called i am not sure why is it chinese because you steal gifts from people and then anyway i feel racist now but ya i ended up with the daring book for girls and it is the fucking best book ever. tote girl. loves it more than you can know. thanks dirk even though you had no idea who was going to get it but it got to the greatest girl goddamn. the party was fun. thanks tyler. i look forward to the 6th annual christmas dorchester chinese gift exchange party.

-at the party last night i was talking with justin and i mentioned how i had to watch a youtube video on how to tie a tie and he was like here i will show you a double windsor knot or something i do not know but anyway so he shows me and when he was adjusting the tie his hand kept jittering and i was like HOLY DO YOU HAVE PARKINSONS OR SOMETHING really loud and he looks at me with the wide eye look like OMG type wide eye look and he is like NO BUT SHE DOES in a whisper pointing to this chick that i never met there and i was the horribly embarrassed she did not look at me but i slinked away because justin was like go sit down so she wont look at you and i did and spent the half the night avoiding her and at the end of the night it turns out she actually had MS not parkinsons. thanks justin for ruining my night. jeesh.

-oh the important thing. bitch totally spilt juice all over my fucking laptop and it died. like totally died. so we went out and bought a new one. her name is lima. everyone is like you should have bought a mac and i like fuck off i do not care yes i know they are better but they do not work with my work program so fuck off.

that is lima. she works well.

pictoral non-interlude of trees and me

2007-12-11T20:53:00.000-08:00

-i have been quiet lately because when you are at work for 12 hours a day working your ass off to get people to the places they want to go at christmas time and when you come home the last thing you want to do is touch a computer unless it is strictly for masturbatory reasons which you know happens right like rubbing one off after a day of hard work and the other is still working what to do that is right hello hand. gorgeeeeeous.

-friday night was skwirls christmas tree party. bitch and i went and i totally sported my houndstooth vest again because it the newest piece of clothing that i love and well is the newest piece of clothing and i will buy something and love it to its fullest extent and then discard and by discard i mean keep in my closet forever ever and when i am putting a thrift bag of my clothes together to give away it is that one item i am like NAH I WILL WEAR THAT AGAIN SOME DAY but never do but i have not reached that point yet with the houndstooth. lucky you. anyway it was fun. we had champ-agne and wine and good food and skwirl told everyone that she was starting her new job on monday which means nothing to you and that is okay there is whole long story to that but anyway when she told everybody we were like YAYAAYAAYYY because good for her. no she isnt retarded or anything just a bad string of luck. no more. good for you skwirl-bean.

counting past three is hard

i wanna slap the bitch for pushing skwirls face but it is still a good picture

-in the christmas mood of things i hope you do not own a blackberry and exit an elevator in front of me while using your thumb to scroll you know that thing blackberry owners do that scrollscroll thing where they need to email everyone all the time type thing and when they leave the elevator they just keep walking head down scrollingscrolling not paying attention i am going to start smacking peoples blackberrys into their chins like HELLO MCFLY just to see how far i get before i have to run and scream before getting punched out.
merry christmas. this is our christmas card. love you.

pictoral interlude - friday pull

2007-12-02T07:32:00.000-08:00

-on friday night bitch and i went to some going away party for a co worker of his and so we did that at some pub that had really expensive beer and so i told elizabeth to come and hang out too and so her and nick did but some guy was totally creeping bitch and i out and we were bothered so as soon as they showed up we left and went to another place that is right below a hostel so it made for an interesting people viewing spot but after some drinks we did not care about people except us and pull tabs. and more pull tabs. lots of pull tabs. we paid about 15 dollars of our bill in pull tabs never mind that we spent 40 but at least it was a return of some sort ya. and special mention goes to elizabeths hair. after some finger teasing it was the best.

the madness starts...

holy blue eyes batman

it was so funny bitch tried getting a hoo hoo shot right and each time he tried the pole was always in the way and he was like SAVED BY THE POLE!@#! it was funny honestly.

at this point you can tell nick just does not care anymore about pull tabs. hah./

when i get drunk i am fascinated with boobs. ::shrugs::

head down ass up thats the way we like the muff

2007-11-21T18:26:00.000-08:00

-lately i have taken to falling asleep head first into the furniture. and then like tuck my hands and arms in all safty first style and when i see these pictures i am like WHY AM I NOT A BOTTOM because obviously my body is naturally like HAAYYY you know but anyway...

and i must thank bitch for his unwavering skill at being sure pictures are taken quite artistically of my ass with still life and sunglasses.

-what do you do when on a saturday night you have not had a drink and sorta are wanting to steer clear for the sake of "health" and have nothing to do... you make muffins. seriously bake the first time in ages and actually be excited about it that is what we did and we made mocha muffins and some other berry shit. it was fun in that alternate saturday night category ya.

riveting i know. tanya kept trying to tell me to whisk and i was like NO OVERMIXING CAUSES TOUGH MUFFINS and showed the bitch how to put chocolate chips in. thats how you do it so when you bite in and you are overcome by melted chocolate chips almost like a lava muffin because i am smart and like chocolate. then we drank.

-bitch liked the muffins... hes cushy.

houndstooth days of crepe

2007-11-13T19:37:00.000-08:00

-on friday bitch and me and tanya went and saw 30 days of night and it was decent i mean it was not like HOLY SHIT DID YOU SEE MOSES PART THE SEA but more like HAH LOOK JOSH HARTNETT IS ACTING SAD AND INTENSE BECAUSE HE REALIZED VAMPIRES EXIST type good sorta funny too. oh and i totally bought a bag of sour patch kids and my tongue got raw.

-shari asked me if i wanted to go in to the mall to help her buy a jacket and i said sure and then i also had some money to spend too so it was thought out and anyway and i came across

and these

and i love shopping suddenly. before i was always turned off at the thought of shopping well not actually the act of shopping but the environment you have to enter to do shopping because i am learning as i get older that i really do not like the general public and i am not saying i am negative in life not really just i do not like the general public who can not slow down. they make me anxious at malls or streets like robson. that is the best way to describe it. i spend more trying to dodge people and get out of their way but then realize i am the only one doing this and everyone else walks into people then i try and i feel like an asshole and i do not like being in that position. so ya i have not shopped in ages and now those simple and basic two purchases above (AND HELLO HOUNDSTOOTH VEST SEXY YA?!) have totally and completely thrust me into a whole new level of debt soon to be.
whatev i look good.

-ever since bitch and i went and met meliza and melissa at cafe crepe i want to go there and just drink there because 11.00 dollar pitchers sounds delightful no. hey rizza? soon?

meliza tagged this on facebook saying 'our new handshake' and i laughed pretty hard. like outloud SNORT-HEE HAW type laugh. you know the one.

-M.I.A tomorrow. i will end on that note to allow you to stew in jealousy.

set the door anger

2007-11-07T23:24:00.000-08:00

-so to totally set the mood for the type of week i am going to have and had so far i totally went into work on monday morning an hour early because the one clock that i forget to set is the most important being the alarm clock and ya i was pissed. my stupidty. transit was a whole lot easier to deal with though ya. i got a seat and the dirty scuzzy people who normally almost sit on your lap hacking up years of crack smoke are not up it appears at that time. so that was nice.

-and because i am grumpy and stressed and people who do not say thank you or at least acknowledge you when you hold the door open i think are going to the be the group of people i end up losing my shit on and stabbing or something and i am just really noticing it this week so i am sure it is my faux-work-related-stressball anger but when i hold a door open and someone walks through with no eye contact and as if i was doing what i was supposed to be doing like a cheap office building door opener i am always yelling at them YOUR WELCOME because i can be a bitch too and horribly obnoxious but really where is the thought in their head to say thank you did they seriously get raised learning not to say thank you jesus my parents give me nothing if i dont say thank you or please and fuck im 27 so i dunno it blows me away so people just give a nod if a verbal gesture of appreciation is something that slips your brain or even if you are just plain incappable then whatever thats weird but you should learn okay okay

-okay done complaining. random few from victoria por vous.

i like taking bitches camera and pretending i am photographer man all peter parker style on random objects and i am like LOOK BITCH i am photographer man too.!@# but i am not good at focusing but i was hungover sans glasses so i could not tell even if i wanted.

pictoral interlude - hollow eve whip me mime

2007-11-02T06:22:00.000-07:00

-last friday night tyler had people over and you had to have a costume to come over and if you did not then he would give you one well bitch and me and tanya were heading to victoria the next morning so i was like i am just going to stop by and say hi sans costume and then i arrived and became CHILDHOOD TRAUMA:

and that is judith light all over my skirt. i know weird eh but i rocked it out.

CAMEL TOE!!@#$!@!

-okay okay okay then these three gorgeous ladies showed up and they stole my attention for the rest of the night before i drunkenly left and walked all the way home. i loved them...

i got really drunk and then just left. there were tons more great costumes but i was too enthralled with mimes and dominatrixeseses.
good times.

televised food

2007-10-24T19:21:00.000-07:00

-i brought tons of work home to do and instead i am eating epperay-onipay sticks i always liked saying pepperoni in pig latin it sounds fun ya even if i am not saying it right and oh and i am watching meerkat manor because i do not know why i am just fascinated with those cute fucking weird creatures and as i am watching i am cutting the ends off my epperay-onipay sticks because they have always reminded me of shriveled up little foreskins oh and i just flipped the channel and pat sayjack or whatever his name is just asked vanna white what she is going to be for halloween and she said she is going to dress all black with a letter on her and pat asked what letter and she said i dont know N? and he said why dont you be the letter "i" so i can DOT you... haha. he so wants to cum on her face. pig. this is like live tv blogging fest ya. oh and speaking of tv did anyone else what "shot at love with tile tequila"

... who is this tila i know i could search on the internet but i do not care that much but the show was horrible.... horribly fun to watch yet it is by far the trashiest thing i have seen on tv so far by mixing lezbians and guys all fighting for her love but i do not know what they see in her i think tila looks like a stripper gelfling but what do i know i am gay. i would be surprised if she ends up with a girl at the end not saying i doubt she loves women but i get the impression this is all for ratings.

-wanna know the best game ever for the nintendo ds... um zelda. that is right. hands down. forever ever.

-the other night i ate fucking kfc. i feel like dying now. well not really but i would never eat their like breasts or thighs of chicken that is way tooo greasy and not chicken i like the popcorn chicken which again is not chicken but it is so deep fried i do not care. it was good then i had to stop because i remember when it first came out i ate so much of chicken popcorn i would get sick so when i was eating it the other night i was doing okay then i started to feel that feeling i got way back when and i stopped. then end.

-i need hot weather...

dancing indian bee

2007-10-18T19:59:00.001-07:00

-remember the bee that tanya was all like AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH about well this was the outcome and he died a happy death
(you should turn your volume down because tanya and i are on beer 3 annoying)

we got a new beer though that was nice eh.

-if there was a show called dancing with strangers i would tote be number one because i am like the fucking master of it you know when you are walking down the street and someone enters your path and you realize and dodge out of the way but at the same exact time they do in the same direction so you go the other way and so do they... i do this maybe 3 more times and the other person always looks so pissed off because i was trying to be curteious and get out of their fucking way. and its worse when it rains AND i have my umbrella then i am just like gene kelly. i think i have talked about this before too i think maybe possibly so sorry and i do not know i remember nothing.

-have you ever been to a consulate or embassy or anything like that where you need to get a visa? its such a lame process and sitting and waiting is always involved. i have to do this for my job periodically. today i went to the india consulate. got there and was number 88 and they were starting at 77 and i sit and what is insane is this have this fairly big tv and its playing this totally cheezy indian soap opera and its all dramatic and the lead actor was sorta cute and then it would be all slow mo or something and then the music would blare all **BINGDING*LING*BING*DIAYY*YAY*ABI*GLING** you know and with like saris flying around that is alot to take in especially at 8:45am and as i am calculating in my head how many people are before me over and over and over again in hopes the number might shrink and it doesnt then i am up and i leave 30 minutes later **BINGDING*LING*DNINDG*DING*BINGLING*GONG**

tanyas navel stain

2007-10-16T19:05:00.000-07:00

-umm... i really think a navel orange is one of the most repulsive looking things. to me it looks sexually mutated and not right. especially huge fucking 'navel's like that too... disgusting. i saw that sitting on my counter at work. i even do the total pull back gross out face and like wince. seriously look at that for a long time and tell m you do not think that is even appropriate. i know i can not be the only one.

-so a certain friend who will remain nameless because i would not be an asshole to be like HEY GUESS WHAT but anyway so a certain person who is going to post secondary has found her self in a position where she needs to do a re-write of a mid term paper in her teachers office with just him because the re write is a favor as is because she did not know when the exam was as she missed a class and so anyway i asked if he offered an 'a' for a blow would she do it and she said yes and i high fived her and its cool because he aint married. i just thought that was funny.

i know this page is all tanya tanya lately eh. she is essentially a third in our relationship but we do not sleep with her but she is over and she sometimes helps clean and i always think that is nice ya but welcome tanya you owe me 40 bucks.
and speaking of tanya watch her and bees. she does this all the time. seriously. and if you listen you can hear me bitch about how loud she is... that is not if you are not loving tanyas laugh

-if you spill red whine on carpet and say the carpet is lighter in color a good little remedy i found on the internet that i would normally link but i can not even find that shit again but anyway just use dish soap and peroxide and just scrub. no certain amounts. just enough to cover the stain and bam gone. you will thank me when you spill wine i swear.

genoa turkey hair

2007-10-11T07:19:00.000-07:00

-i hope everyone had a good thanksgiving dinner i did with my parents on sunday that was nice and i actually put gravy on my turkey for the first time i dunno when i was all little i never liked gravy not that i even tried it of course i just never tried it because it looked like shit to be blunt and i guess it just stuck that gravy=shit do not try shit eater and so i did not but this thanksgiving i was tired of just eating turkey with tons of salt so i added gravy and i am now like WOW FUCKING GRAVY IS AMAZING but only my moms see baby steps.
then on monday night i invited over tanya and elizabeth and nick over for a genoa thanksgiving because if i have something to be thankful for it is friends and genoa and wine but can you believe i forgot the wine i know but that is okay because i got all creative and made a genoa turkey

i could have made it better but that was done real quickly and i was like putting the salami out and then i thought lets form a turkey and quickly re arranged everything and that was the result and elizabeth squeeled so that means it looked like a turkey... i think. next time which i will not even wait for thanksgiving i will do a better turkey with parm. genoa, garlic genoa and a more dark hot genoa. it will be a fucking genoa gobble fest. hah. im hilarious.

-and i forget what day but shari came over to and we drank and pulled weeds. it was fun.

mind you i think shari got afraid for her hair because while we were doing what we do, bitch and tanya were in the bathroom doing this

and see i know shari like really well so i know that is her GET AWAY FROM ME YOU FREAK smile and actually you can tell that that is the type of smile even if you did not know her because i am sure anyone would look the same if bitch approached you ya?

-bitch and i are going to victoria on the 27th. no reason. just because. and we get to go via helijet for free because that is me flexing my agent shit all peacock style.
and then we are going to stay here again for cheap because if you did not know agents get deals fuckers but not for everyone just me and who ever i sleep with sorry. and last time we stayed there i figured we would never be allowed again because we had a corner suite which has a big window and we pretended we were in the red light district and put an oral show on for people below and i learned bitch has gills.