bitches for el lunes incognito

-a couple of items of business to be getting off my chest because today so far has licked ass in the not-good-first-date way:

1) to client x:
it is not my fault your attention span is that of a 3 year old in front of a television while i was discussing flight options for you. it is not my fault you did not hear me verbalize the date of departure several times. it is not my fault that you replied to my email with the departure dates as discussed over the phone and said YES PLEASE BOOK. so when you call me to inform me in a not so nice way that i booked you on the wrong flight on the wrong day it is not my fault my friend so i ask that you please do two things: first... kiss my big white un-groomed ass and second... goto aircanada.com and book it your fucking self then.!@#! but then who would you have to blame when you fuck up. i will let you figure that out yourself.

2)to all the umbrella toting un-intelligent whores:
in vancouver it rains. we are the rain forest of north america. if you are a native to vancouver then this should be practical information for you and not so surprising. with this knowledge should come the knowledge of USAGE OF UMBRELLAS. if you have an umbrella it is not meant to be used undercover... let the fools who do not own one walk undercover. if you have an umbrella it is not meant to express your presonal mood as you walk down the street with a hop to your step and when feeling ultra cute deciding to spin it in a playful way... you are just pissing off the people around you as you are spraying them with water. if you have an umbrella and see that someone is coming towards you one as well about the same height... at least make an effort to lift yours out of the way so crossing the street does not turn into a nylon verson of bumper cars with metal spokes poking people in the fucking head. umbrellas are useful but you also need to understand the etiquette of one. side note: to the 5-foot nothing asain who looks like she weighs about 90 pounds soaking wet with a parka on.... you do not need a huge golf umbrella nor should you walk with your head down as you cross the street at a busy downtown intersection at 8:30 in the morning because next time i will just do the same and our weight difference will knock you on your ass first that way i will not have to experience dodging your gawd damn umbrella early in the morning knocking into some poor lady who i did not see making me look like the bad person.

i saw a sign at the skytrain the other day and it said something like HOW DO YOU UNWIND FROM A STRESSFUL DAY AT WORK? SIT DOWN WITH A GLASS OF WINE?... PUNCH YOUR SPOUSE... heh.
i like alternatives.


i am done.