paint

-remember how i said i have been painting well i have like 4 or 5 completed canvasasasases and this is one that i like for obvious reasons but they are all of similar style. it has been fun and i feel artsy. now if only people would buy my shit instead of OH I REALLY LIKE IT I WOULD BUY IF I HAD MONEY and they trot to their drug dealers to get their 2 ounces of weed. thanx.

accepting applications

i want to start a boring photo project and have everyone of my friends pose with me in front of these paintings at wonderbucks on commercial. that way if i ever feel all like i have no friends i will have a book of photos of people who agreed to stand with me and have their picture taken and i can totally make myself believe i have a lot of friends.

anniversary

-this goes out to bitch. happy anniversary bitch!!@#! 4 years... who would have thunk.
it was on this day 4 years ago bitch and i were together after casually seeing each other for about a month or so that i had him over for dinner, had some wine and then in a drunk state asked, "SO ARE YOU MY FUCKING BOYFRIEND OR WHAT?" to which he replied yes.
love ya tons.

recap the drink fest salads and paint

-omg within the last little while i have not had an urge to sit and type about my life because it has been drinking and recovering and once i recover then commercial drive decides to have car free day where to me its more like PATIO EXTENSION DAY so bitch and i took total advantage of that and i think i am now sorta better phew. but total fun i wish my camera was not broken oh have i mentioned that ya my new camera that i bought to replace the one i broke at rehab is now broken because of the high school reunion i sat on it i know i am an ass but my issue actually it still works you can take pictures but the screen is not happy and all white and that is all you see so it is sorta like an old school camera and you are like I HOPE THIS TURNS OUT. the weather has been nice so that is good to see all my sun dances have paid off and by sun dance i mean masturbation but for some reason when it is really nice out i have the urge to stay in and paint which i have been doing quite a bit lately but i will not post pictures until i am done my little collection i am trying to work on and then take some where and say SELL THESE AND MAKE ME RICH soon i will show you. oh but back to the reunion it was awesome seeing people but i will be honest and say i was unsure how the whole IM GAY thing was going to go since most of them didnt know or have seen my status on facebook and have not spoken with me but all was good and plus half the time i was hammed and did not give a shit mind you the dumb question of the night goes to some guy who asked me SO OUT OF OUR CLASS WHO ALL CAME OUT ..... ya like i have a list of gays from class of 98 that i check and update on a regular basis so i made up some names and he was shocked and i walked away. OH and for people who know me hold on to your hats here... for the last 4 weeks i have had salad for lunch. 4 WEEKS and SALAD and i am not being cryptic with the word salad meaning a perogie/pasta/meat filled frenzy covered in oil and fat type salad i am talking spinach, feta, pine nuts, raisins and a greek dressing salad. except today. they had no spinach so i was thrown off and just got a bagel instead. it is in an attempt to lose a TINY bit of weight but i know the weekend beer benders totally throw the scales off but better than nothing. i keep meaning to find my old sneakers to start running but then the thought of looking for them exhausts me. and i just remembered at the reunion one my good friends from the day which she still is a good friend because as soon as we saw eachother it was like no time went by but she called me her "purse" because i am the best accessory and i have heard that before so i thought that was totally funny. holy bounce around on topics sorry but welcome to my brain within the last 2 weeks and one last thing go see sex and the city at least if you have watch a couple of episodes on tv and mildly laughed and thought it was good then you will love it i loved it totally and completely except for all the women at the theater were all dressed up as if they lived in new york and i felt underdressed but then i realized that i was not crazy and menstrual like them dying to be carrie bradshaw and i have to go because i am busy and this was just a im still alive post and to stop looking at itineraries. kiskis.

ugh

-let me sum up my weekend with one picture...


oh okay with one more too...

EVERYONE loves me.

video interlude - bored bf

-on saturday i went to my reunion it was massive fun but while i was away bitch got creative...


now i had come home from some shindig thingy and i am hammed and i love parm cheese and sometimes those two meet


umm this is just bitch drunk




this is tanya's CANUS

fighting work nice shirt

-yesterday when bitch and i were coming home from work at our bus stop there was this olderish lady who was all walking in the middle of seymour st and there were some security guys from a and b sound trying to get her off the road and these people who were watching were bitching at each other cause this guy dressed in an orange dress shirt and bad tie bad hat was saying this lady needs help shes in distress blah blah and this one girl who was telling him to shut up ooh it was funny here is their dialogue

orange shirt guy: SHES IN DISTRESS SHE NEEDS HELP LEAVE HER ALONE

lipring girl: she probably stole something

orange shirt guy: HOW DO YOU KNOW SHE STOL SOMETHING WHAT IF THAT WAS YOUR
MOM OUT THERE?

lipring girl: that wouldnt be my mom cause my mom wouldnt do THAT

by this point the orange shirt guy is liking yelling in a really loud nasally voice

orange shirt guy: WHAT IF IT WAS?!?

lipring girl: I WOULD CALL HER AND TELL HER TO COME HOME...

then orange shirt guy mumbled something to her and she goes OH FUCK OFF NICE SHIRT!!!

it was fucking hilarious. i also found it funny that it took two police cars and a paddywagon for this lady.

oh and then yesterday bitch and i made our pilgramiage to the waldorf and on the way back there was this harsh drunk like 15 year old oh do not be surprised it is common in our neighborhood but anyway shes all yelling at her friends and then she runs over towards bitch and i and is saying to me ARE YOU THAT GUY COME HERE WANNA FIGHT or some shit and i just looked back at her and was like whatev and kept walking then she runs closer and i hear this so i turn around and shes like messed up in the face like ugly and drunk as fuck and shes like YOU CALL MY FRIEND A HO?! and i said YOU BETTER BACK THE FUCK UP and she says WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO HIT ME and i said I AINT HITTING ANYBODY AS LONG AS YOU BACK UP and her friend is yelling at her THATS NOT HIM GET BACK HERE and then she like walks off still yelling shit and right when we went in to our building bitch yells out FUCKING BITCHES and totally made the drunk yell her face off more but they were around the corner and could not see us. like bitch just had to get his two sense in. it was funny.

-then on thursday night i went with shari to a lezbian bachelorette party for anne and val and val has this hot brother from spain but they are english with fucking sexy acccents and sexy faces well tim did and val was all YOU FANCY MY BROTHER??? NO WAY?! it was funny and it was good times HOWEVER i missed the 2 hours finale of lost and that makes me sorta pissed but my dad was supposed to record it but for valid reasons was unable to get the full thing so if anyone knows where to find it on the net let me know pees and ques.

-what else what else OH its my 10 year reunion today!@# this should be really interesting and sorta funny because i do not even know who the girl is who is putting it together and i have a feeling theres gonna be a lot of that tonight and its at a pub and i was joking that i can not wait to show everyone what type of drinking problem i have developed over 10 years but i am HOPEFULLY gonna keep it in check because ya lets pass out at our 10 year thats nice.

-bitch just informed me that he "wishes there was a Subway in our bedroom" and i said "Subway?" , "ya in our bedroom because then it would be like so close... i want Subway." something tells me he is getting hungry.

interview for the misty TP

-last night TRAN-ya came over and we watched a movie and drank caesars and the movie was the mist and at first i was like oh gawd but then it was okay and then at the end i was fucking angry what a shitty ending like i am going to spoil it if you have not seen it like they were so fucking quick to shoot themselves and then right when the guy has no more bullets and he is in agony cause he just SHOT HIS FUCKING SON then suddenly the army shows up right at that point like a whole fucking brigade of people and you can not tell me that the whole time they were driving at a fucking snails pace that they did not see these army doods what so ever since when they passed they were right next to the vehicle and ya anyway once it ended i took the movie case and threw it at tanya and told her to take her stupid fucking movie out of here and she left i rode my bike with her because i am protective of my friends walking home at 1am even though they BRING OVER SHITTY FUCKING MOVIES THAT MAKE ME ANGRY. special mention goes out to the god bat shit crazy lady who i would have shot in the beginning as soon as she started spouting end of days crap.

-(seguay) speaking of crap here is survival tip 13843245: if you have run out of toilet paper and discover this as you are sitting there and you have no paper towels in the house the best thing to do is use COFFEE FILTERS. true story. my ass was not happy but it was that or shower and i just finished getting ready for work and i had already showered so with bitchs ingenious brain he brought me a coffee filter to use. NO WORRIES NOW we went out and bought some and i splurged and got me some CHARMIN CHA CHA CHA and stuff feels like silk 300x over on my delicate brown star fish. cha cha cha.

-tran-ya is now working at zawa. i know!?@!?# we went there last sunday and after 3 pitchers of beer the owner who knows us and ALWAYS refers to my birthday if we are getting rowdy he is like OH IS IT YOUR BIRTHDAY AGAIN in an iraqi accent and i laugh he is funny but anyway he started to like interview tanya right there while she is all drunk and making squabbly laughing sounds and then he was like come tomorrow and work and she did and tonight she is working again. during the "interview" salam (the owner) kept asking me would you hire her and i would say YESHH I'D HER HIRE TOTE MAN because i was hammed. then the next day i painted her a congratulatory owl because she likes owls.


and now pictures of us because i love pictures of us and they are from two different days but same cast same place!




i like to slap tanya around it makes me feel like a man


see what i mean... its like the same photo from above just with a wardrobe change


this is frank he is our neighborhood cat seriously i watch all sorts of people walk by him pet him and be like HI FRANK everyone loves frank. he will follow us sometimes and want to come into our apartment and if there werent cameras everywhere he would be ours. done.

AND NOW another segment of the many faces of me:

this is my impression of tango

~

and this, i have been informed is what i look like when you piss me off but not enough to open my mouth but when i look like this i send out I WILL KILL YOU VIBES. perfect.

pictoral interlude - reefriday

-on friday we had the pleasure of meeting trevor. NO TENSION! super fun times and cant wait to see him here again or out in toronto. we went to the reef to eat and drink non muddled mojitos and i did not know what muddle meant so i got nervous and passed the duty to rizza and she did just perfect.

1-2-3-BLINK...

1-2-3-BLINK AMANDA she just did not get it...












they were really into the camera...




and with that we said good night....

next time: tanyas interview...

pictoral interlude - rehashing vegas

-so shari came by last week and we swapped pictures so these are from her camera.

our lobby


our chairs where we got fucking trashed on


in process of getting trashed


shari in process of getting trashed


why hello again you rubbing your developed body that i will never obtain because i do not have that type of concentration level



my nipples are huge when i stretch actually they are like that as is.


i was so happy with my new wonder-bread shorts. they are ugly yet gorgeous all in one.


shari and cage


then while we were waiting to come home at vegas airport

no time for viewing lady madonna

-ugh. sigh. and more ughs. that is how i have felt for the last bit. bosslady has gone away for a week and with a week away comes waterfalls of work. i love words with "w" today for some weird and wonderful weason. but ya. and when i have come home bitch and i have created this mini-bed-pillow thing in our living room and we have been having movie nights where we sit and watch and fight for the last sour key. we have watch i am legend, devil wears prada, beowulf, and i finally will get to watch v is for vendetta. it is fun to fall asleep then i stumble into the bedroom at 3am and think oh fuck 3 hours before i get up and then i get up and wash and repeat. exciting i know. i got to escape over to bucci's for a bbq at his place in west vancouver so that was fun. it got messy at the end of the night. i claim someone took the rest of my gin but i know by "claim someone took" i probably drank as half way through was when things got fuzzy.
i stole these pictures from mr lea because i have been to unconscious to do anything in the evening time.



mr lea and his bf sandy who left the next day for toronto forever well not forever but i am sure will feel like forever for mr lea.

that is sharon and she is fucking fabulous. she is from trinidad. she has the accent and everything. her stories are pure funny 100% from concentrate.

then i met this peach. her name is jenn. gold star jenn.

she had me laughing to the point of fake puking.

that has been the one touch of excitement since i have come back from vegas.

-and ever since i have come back i have had beatles songs stuck in my head so i have downloaded a bunch well bitch did for me because he loves me like that and todays song of the day is lady madonna. oh and speaking of bitch he works below me now not in the sex way but in actual work way he is at the new store and so we hang out on breaks and stuff and i am sure it will get old fast but it is fun right now and will be better when it is actually spring outside and sunny oh wait spring is almost over summer i mean summer you know where the sun comes out.
i miss certain people. rizza and n. you are top of my list. miss u guys and please do not think i am being a snob just lazy and pooped. like mitzie after a walk but a long walk because i learned if you take her for a short walk she will still be wound up so i am like her after a long walk. i will rest up and get ready to rip er soon.

alpaca sun

-so i am back from vegas. i have been here since sunday but i have been busy with work and i do not feeling like being all computer friendly when i come home from work but anyway vegas was great i am broke but i have a few new material items that i am loving and i have decided though i am done with vegas for a while 3 times within 2 years is enough and i can not stand all the skanks down there with their asses hanging out but yes i am not straight so maybe if it was guys in their briefs walking around just the hot ones then yes maybe i would sing a different song but the rudeness of the airhead dipshit chickypoos made shari and i crazy so we drank at the pool to make us feel better in the sun while it was snowing in vancouver.




see the guy in the striped shorts see if everyone in vegas was like that then yes please walk around with your ass hanging out and i will take care of you. shari and i loved this man even though his abs screamed high maintance but its all the same when their face is in a pillow yes. shari got some great spy shots of him. she is coming over tonight to give me swap pics so i will post those because i am a pervert.


the palazzo looks quite impressive at night.

our room. i love junior suites.

this is an alpaca and for some reason they were at the secret garden with tigers and dolphins. this guy was the epitome of cool and always looked alert but i would too if my area was right next to the snow white tiger.


awww... look at his face!!!

seigfried and roy are such homos...

we went and saw LOVE the cirque de soliel show and holy fucking shit what an AMAZING show. i say go if you are down there and yes tickets are expensive but it is worth it especially if you know at least one beatles song which everyone does so everyone should go.