inspiring identification smoke

-i thought about this and thought how i would not post it because i do not want to embarass bitch but since this event has totally pre-occupied my brain and his brain space with worry and stress i have to mention the fact that bitch lost his wallet AGAIN and AGAIN right before holidays and this has caused a major problem as he has no ID and um hi you need id to board the plane to mexico and people are all like why have you not gotten a passport and um have YOU TRIED LATELY i am not having the time to stand in fucking line at what 4am to then be told oh sorry we can not get to you today. anyway so we are crossing our fingers that victoria will notice the rush and get it out to bitch soonsoon. i hope. i do not want to goto mexico by myself thank you. needless to say bitch will be getting a wallet with a chain whether he fucking likes it or not.

-my boss' sister found out i smoked and one of her friends had given her tons of mild seven japanese cigarettes and um i love them so she gave me two cartons of them. hello 400 free little cigarettes. i love the packaging though because it says (and i quote) "the superbly balanced mild seven blend offers an inspiring moment of satisfaction". how can you not want to smoke these. AN INSPIRING MOMENT OF SATISFACTION... they make it sound better than sex. i wonder if you still get those moments where you are smoking with a tumor in your lungs. i typed in mild seven in google to see if i can find a picture of the packaging to show you to prove i am not lying about the well worded engrish and i found this picture and i am guessing this guy is having an inspiring moment of satisfaction...

that is what i look like after my first mildseven in the morning it is morning moments of inspiring satisfaction explosions everywhere.

-so on the verge of sounding like a freak, elizabeth is moving to vancouver at some point and i'm super excited because i do not know her in person type know but i know her from on line and i know she likes cute homos (check), she can drink (check), she is funny (check), and she has a lil jack russell named mitzie (check), she has always wanted an austin mini like me (check), oh and her boyfriend is shaggy cute so when we are drunk we will awkwardly oogle him (check) ... to me she is the making of a new BFF. i should just send out a mass mail to everyone and tell them i no longer have a need for friends. i wonder if she would want to come to mexico on a days notice...