working the tan song

-have you ever been so like OH MY FUCKING GAWD I AM ABOUT TO FREAK OUT angry slash frustrated that you really do not freak out but just well up with tears because there is nothing else to do. that was me today. i have no problems with admitting this whatsoever i do have an issue that it happened at work but i had no choice it was either that or throw a chair out the window and just jump but um then i would not be going to mexico. it is amazing how the thought of your future trip to the mayan riviera one week away totally squashes any thoughts of going worker postal. i am better now. but at the time i was not feeling hot. and when i am like that i am like a person with tourettes and just fucking swear randomly and offensively and rudely but whatever i usually apologize afterwards and since it happened with tears in my eyes they usually forgive me. anyway today sucked.

it is almost like working law that if you are about to go away on some amazing vacation and you totally have been dreaming about it since your last vacation and you are just fucking counting the days down then one day a huge rock of a problem will fall on your head...NO NO EVEN WORSE AND MORE PAINFUL...YOUR TESTICLES. that is how it is. and then when you do finally go away pending whether or not your significant other loses their wallet again but when you do go away it is this sugh SIGH and you never want to go back but then you realize you have no choice and so you do go back and when you get there you develop a i dont give a shit attitude i just came back from 31 degree ... seriously that is how it has been every time before vacation for me. clockwork.

-next week i have a tough tan ragime to follow. mon-wed-fri and then saturday we are gone. i will be non-pale and that is exciting. me me me.

-so once i watched an episode of american idol and i saw that girl jordin sparks sing and i was like she should win after seeing all the fucking twits on it with her except the big black chick lakeeeeesha hah i love her oh and melinda doolittle because her name rocks but anywayanyway i saw jordin sing I Who Have Nothing and it made me go NICE and so i dug up some vintage Shirley Bassey and been watching this because i think it is great. but all sad like over and over and over again.