irish skwirl drink

-happy st. pattys day. im have irish in me blood so i have to celebrate. im on my 2nd beer.

-last night bitch and i went to skwirls place to be all like hey new apartment and she bought the booze and we drannk and then bitch left early he was super tired and then i stayed and then i woke up on my couch. no idea how i got home but bitch was like you just appeared. that would be excellent if when i drank i suddenly had the power to just randomly teleport. oh my gawd. life would be drinking and transporting and transporting. i would ask to star on heroes. anyway i do not think i was an ass at the end of the night i just do not remember and i really do not struggle to remember anyway i had fun thanks skwirl







-today was my last day at thegap so no more. i spent 200 before handing over my discount card. mainly for the office. suckas. i am so glad to be done. me time will be more and paint time and friend time and drink time and game time and just more time. done.

caesar cracker kilts

-on saturday night i made pretty caesars (i always wonder if i spell that right but i never care enough to check) and drank them and got pretty much to the pass-out-drunk-on-the-floor-with-glass-in-hand level and so this morning i had to clean that pretty drink off my carpet which was very surprisingly easy with some of this arm and hammer laundry super powder or something and poof its gone it was great to discover this morning because i was not feeling life and the thought of kneeling and scrubbing all i can give into the carpet to remove the drink from the carpet that i happened to drop on was not so appealing. the drinks were good though.
um and do not mind the fact that that is how our coffee table always looks with shit all over it and wrappers and more wrappers and stuff. but the whole point was that my drink looked pretty.

-you know how the in elevators there are those screens some times and they rattle off random things like news headlines and stock gyberish and weather and crap all about the outside world while you are crammed into a tiny little elevator with people who are all dressed the same while i was in one of those elevators the other day and i saw some random fact that some cracker that oprah ate on television caused a 50% increase in that crackers sales the following day. i know that is not surprising but just another fact that oprah is essentially god and will rule us and give us free stuff once she owns the world because when you own the world you can give whatever you want to give because you own the world. viva la oprah.

-im watching deal or no deal and there is this guy who is a bodybuilder who makes bagpipes and just asked howie to touch his "20 inch arm"..... um. dood... first off you are a freak as is being so big so the need to wear a kilt should be minimal. i dunno something about this guys irritates me. he looks jewish. is he even scottish? and he totally sucked on the show... like ouch change the channel sucked!! i need to get out more.

reasons to love bitch

1)he is brilliant yet funny.
-so sometimes bitch and i act like total fags and become all melodramatic for no reason like if i come into the apartment after work and i do not kiss him hello right away he pretends our relationship is in a complete downward spiral to despair and anguish and so last night we got into bed and i noticed there was quite a gap between us and here was our conversation:

me: [sigh] you are so far away from me bitch... it is like we are drifting apart... i do not even know you anymore

bitch: ya we are drifting away from eachother like ... like two doves in the pond...

me: ........

bitch: .....

me: ... um what are the doves doing in the pond?

bitch: ... uh swimming?

me: ... do you mean swans?

bitch: ya whatever sorry.

me: ... hey no worries its not my fault youre an idiot and i am posting this tomorrow.

2)he has incredible fashion sense



how could you not love that....?

crowded cooks of worldy progression

ps-that is tanyas concotion of peppers and onions....???? she ate it not me.





its got very crowded in my poor little kitchen. i was ready to freak out at one point but then it was funny becasue tanya totally beat me to the punch.

-the painting is coming along...



-this has been the first time in like ever that i have been able to sleep in on both days of the weekend and it totally feels like a long weekend but it is not it is because i am not used to having two days off in a row since normally i work at crapland but this saturday i have off and so is the same for next saturday and then after that i do not work there anymore and that is exciting.
i know i have already talked about this but i like the fact that i will no longer be working there. i am tired of that place.

-see this person here:


that is kyla. i met her while working at the folk fest. she was my labeled first folkfest friend because i do lame things like that and label people but anywayanyway we bonded funny enough because she was a nosey bitch and asked what i was reading while eating my lunch and i said john irving and she suggested i read tom robbins if i like irving so i did and then i now like robbins too thanks to kyla. hah i just remembered when i went to her place and we got drunk on martinis that tasted like apples. i am pretty sure that happened... anyway i was walking with everybody on commercial yesterday to get groceries for dinner and i am walking and i see this face of recognition and it clicks who it is and i am like omg how are you (in all honesty i couldnt remember her name because alcohol effects the remembering cells in the brain i think...) but i clued in midway through the conversation and um ya HI she had a baby strapped to her. she has a lil boy 3 month old named max who has the biggest brownest eyes and is adorable. she lives near commercial too so that is exciting. we will go for coffee.

sweet powerful nothing

-say what you will but you would look the same if these lips came near you too....

-when i have not spoke to somebody in ages and they are all like OMG HEY HOW ARE YOU WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING BLAH BLAH BLAH i dread these questions because in all honesty i am exhausted and all i have been doing is work. when i am not working i am on the couch because if i am not working i hate people and do not feel like socializing unless you are bribing me with beer or some form of alcohol then yes i will come out but if not then no i have tv shows to watch that are more important. ie HEROES. um hello this is the best show ever. you can not disagree. especially last night as the chick was trying to stab the radioactive guy who was freaking out and she needed to inject him so she approached him and all her skin was being burnt off and you are like OMG THAT IS THE END OF HER but it was not because hello claire can not be destroyed because she is like wolverine from xmen. see what one of my friends can provide me with that type of entertainment. answer is 0. either i have no good friends or TV is fucking fabulous right now.

-also i have been painting more and the more i paint the more i feel bad for kristen and rodney who asked me to paint this huge painting which i have gotten as far as the background but i can not go any further because i am nervous about screwing it up and them not liking me but i think they may already not like me because hi its been 3 months since. i have this saturday off and i have dubbed it big painting day. i plan on taking it on full force. in other news i will show you soon a painting of the best octopus ever. it is a custom requested painting for friend tanya (in picture above going all googly over my kisses). i showed her last night and she actually squeeled. ihope she does not do that again.

quit moving tendons

-so out of complete frustration and absolute craziness i gave my two week notice to crapland. i am sorta sad that i quit but ya know i would prefer to have my weekends off and direct more attention to things i like doing like painting and reading and having time to complete work from the office and eating and sex and so ya. i was thinking though i will miss giving fashion advise to ladies who did not know what they were doing and i would be all like NO NO NO YOU DO IT LIKE THIS WOMAN and they thought i was right and bought stuff so i figure if i get the urge i will just randomly go into fitting rooms in stores like guess or mex or tristan or like zellers and give random fashion advise like what you see on tlc but i will not give everybody i interfer with free crest premium white strips because well i can not afford that. i can not wait to have my evening and weekends off though. that is exciting.

-bitch is ill. he is breaking down. if he were a used car i would have traded him in by now but the only thing stopping me at this point is that he still able to get his free coffee per week so he is hanging in there. but he has sever tendonitis from working at starbucks for ages and then he got sick so he is this immobile dripping factory of whining. he is marvelous to be around. but i still love him. and yes yes i have heard the comments about handjobs and the lack there of...

-friend tanya totally found a bachelor place down the road from us which can mean trouble and her place is super cute but she has this issue of this smell that is all remincent of an out house and she has to talk to the landlord about that and if its not fixable shes outta there. but its super cute. i guess there is only one thing to say... welcome home tanya.... welcome home.



-

grill happy inspiration

-at crapland if you totally are super duper sales person and people you work with totally are all like HEY GOOD JOB COWORKER you can get points and with those points you can goto a website where you can redeem your points for stuff well since when i do a good job and customers are all like I LOVE YOU i tell them to tell my manager which they do then suddenly i have points. well in the summer i was able to get a hibachi barbeque or however you spell it and it was neat but it takes forever so i was not that impressed but it was a 60 dollar bbq for free so that was nice. anyway i checked last week and i had enough points for a george foreman grill so i redeemed and i got it on friday and since i had grilling on my mind and so after work i totally bought a bunch of meat and onions and mozzarella cheese and stuff and i made the best burger patties EVER to the point i just finished one sans the bun all atkins style but that was because i was too lazy to prep the bun. anywayanyway the burgers are great and next are steaks but i do not like how it takes the fat out so when the burgers where done i put the fat back on. it tastes better. i am happy with my grill... like this:

but i am not smiling because i am fat and am like OH THIS WILL CUT THE FAT OUTTA OF MY DIET AND I WILL BE SKINNY because i am not crazy i like fat since i actually walk places and know how to burn it off but i smiled about the same.

-today it was starting to feel like spring and so i went out walking with bitch and he took some great pictures of random stuff in alleys near cracktown/tranny hooker central near our place.
as we toured the alley ways i made sure to navigate our way to the beer store and i was like HEY BITCH LOOK WE ARE RIGHT HERE LETS GO GET BEER but bitch is on this non-drinking thing because he is not feeling well so i was all over the idea and he was complacent and we went and got beer and i then was made to feel like a black sheep by the beer store lady because i do not like hockey or at least watch it so when we left i said GO CANUCKS to redeem but she was busy. oh well. after when we came home we went to my favorite gallery which also happens to be at asian central and it was so busy because it is chinese new year and it was insane but the art there was amazing as usual and so we left quickly because i felt inspired but when i came home i realized i have 3000 documents to type up so now i am posting rather than working from home. the end.

pictoral interlude - paint paint paint

-tada that is the new one. i was super sick on saturday so i called in sick to crapland and i stayed at home and painted. that was the result. it is actually from a sketch of something i did way back when but i like it regardless. of course i do not think it is done but what else is new. i like looking at it. i like the colors i think. and i am going to sell it.

-i went out and bought tons of art supplies with the money i got from my first sold painting. oh this is the one i sold.

but you have seen this before. just in case you were wondering what one i sold.

and peter if you say anything this is yours...

its awaiting for you to pick it up.

oh and saturday i also finished this one.. sorta. i am anal and need to go over it to fix little blotches i do not like but it looks better than what it did in my opinion which is all that matters because it is mine.


in other news i am better now not so sick but its the aftermath of snot land like every time i swallow its a mouth full of non-sexiness...

gay artist snot

-so i am one step closer to being a fucking huge famous artist because i officially sold my first painting because i am great and i could not be happier to have sold it to my friends keenan and jer and ya. enjoy boys. it makes me want to paint more. i want to take the money and put it somewhere on display like scrooge maduck did with his first 10 cents that he ever earned and i want to do that with the money i got but i probably wont because i want to go buy more canvaseses and paint and gel and weird texture things and become even more rich but i probably wont because there are some new ds games i want to buy. oh great thank you keenan and jer for making me even more anti social.

-with my paintings aside i am fucking sick. and i like using the word 'fucking' lately. its a great word. adjective and verb. sometimes noun. anyway i am huge walking snot mess. at least at work i was. now that i am at home i am no longer dripping snot everywhere which is weird i guess the germs know when i am at work and are like LET ALL FLUIDS FLOW SO HE MAY GO HOME but i never go home well i do when i am REALLY sick but then when i get home they sit on the back burner so i can enjoy my beer sans nasal drips. thank you considerate germs.

-i am going to my first gay wedding in march. my old roommate is marrying his boyfriend and i am excited for them. they are cute together and i have never seen lawrence happier. cudos boys. i just do not know what to expect at a gay wedding... i picture after hours and shirtless men and sweat and stuff and i am like whoosh been there done that bought the mug returned it without a receipt and got the current selling price of $0.01. but it is at the fairmont so i know it will be classy. their invitations we are gorgeous too. the tin they came in will hold roaches nicely.

-here is a video of tango. he is awesome. i love him. that is bitch's voice saying "youuuu...where are you?"

changing the cough smell

-i have been refusing to change my blogger account to the new one because i hate change and all the time when i sign in it is like CHANGE TO THE NEW BLOGGER and i am like no i do not want to and anyway this morning it was like i had no option so i switched. and now it is asking for labels and stuff for my posts.?

-i have a cold. at least the beginning of one. its all cough cough OUCH as my lungs or chest hurt i dont know but my voice is all deep and sexy like i should be 6'7" weighing like 200 or whatever alot of pounds but and i am noticing ladies on the phone are all like HEEEYYYY and i am like hey. not interested. i would probably wanna sleep with me too if i heard how sexy i sounded.

-bitch is like attached to my laptop since we got the internet. no seriously. i came home last night and he was on the couch with the laptop and when i went to bed he was still on the couch with the laptop but he did get up once at one point when i tried to tell him how much i love him and how i almost dumped him when we first started going out because i did not think it was going to go anywhere and he was all disgusted by this and got up and left me on the couch alone and i was like WHAT THE FUCK because if he thought about obviously i fell for the stupid fucker and hi almost 3 years later... anyway we sorted that out. but the other night i was like you have not left the computer for 8 hours right and he said yes and i said you stink and he said EXCUSE ME LIKE WHAT and i said like filth that has been sitting in front of a computer playing on line games all day and he said again LIKE WHAT and i said CPU really slowly and i thought it was the funniest thing and i kept saying GET IT GET IT.... SEEEEE...PEEEEE..EWWWWWWW... and i would laugh. i am hilarious.

knowing about jaundice paint

-so that is my newest painting i am working on but it is not done. i have come to the conclusion that i can not finish paintings. i suck at completing stuff. well painting at least. i should start an exhibition entitled INCOMPLETE i would be more successful that way i think. i am all about texture as you can see i am just playing though. the painting is sitting on my new art easel that bitch got me for christmas. i love it.

-so bitch and i have internet at home and i thought that since i now have internet at home i would be an uber loser and be on it all the time but bitch is all about myspace so it is hard to seperate him from the computer i have not had a chance to use it but that is okay because i am a fucking loser and went out and bought a nintendo dslite for myself plus 3 games. i have been too enthralled with that to even care about the internet or bitch for that matter.

-i helped friend skwirl move on the weekend and it sucked because everyone bailed so it was just skwirl and i and i was fucking HUNG OVER from the night before of drinking with friends at home and the first piece of furniture we move i totally squached my hand between a wall and sofa and it hurt to the point i was almost in tears and i thought i broke it but i did not and now it has a funny yellow gross jaundice color to it and it hurts alot and sore and it sucks because it is the hand i er...um write with.

-you know when you think someone knows something about you but you are not sure but you do not want to ask because just in case they do not know but you want to know but can not ask... i dislike that.

sympathy credit sucking

-i was speaking very briefly to elizabeth on msn and she is not feeling well not so much whatsoever and when she was describing her head all congested like and stuff and how her nose and eyes are running and as she was saying well not saying as i was reading what she typed my eyes started to water all crazy like for no reason and i was like I AM HAVING SYMPATHY RUNS and then she had to go lie down. then out of boredom i was looking at my previous life and what is really weird but not really because i am sure people are sick and all runny gross like always somewhere in the world but i will make this to be like a SUPER CRAZY COINCIDENT ... i was sick exactly 5 years ago on this day... here is my post from January 26, 2002:
* * * * * *
1.26.o2
-i am not so sure that i am all healthy right now. i have caught a cold. i do not think the word caught is a good word to use because when i think 'caught' i think of something i was after or chasing to get but a cold is definately not something i chase after. instead the cold was inflicted upon me by some mean germs i guess and now i am all runny like. my eyes and nose are having races to release the most fluid. i think right now my eyes are winning because they do not stop watering where as with my nose i can go SNNNNIFFIFCHIFHFH and it is not so runny anymore and that is usually when people yell BLOW YOUR NOSE!@! but it is easier to go SNNNNNIFIFIIFCHIFHICH!@#

this cold thing started yesterday morning when i woke up and i think yesterday morning was a very bad morning for me. i woke up with this big ol headache, one nostril completely plugged. i got up to get dressed and smashed my knee on my chair. i stumbled around to get dressed and actually did that and then i went outside to start my truck and then my truck made funny sounds. i was very angry with that because i just finished paying moneymoney for the truck to be fixed and now it was broken again. so i had to drive to the doctor of mechanical expertise to fix it and i said CAR DOCTOR MAN!!! YOU JUST HEALED T-RIDE AND NOW T-RIDE IS BROKEN AGAIN!@! FIX THIS!@> because i was not feeling well. so they fixed it and it was the belt or something. i am thinking though i should not be grumpy like with people who work on vehicles because they can do stuff that can make you have to bring it in again so you pay them more and they laugh at you because you are broke from being grumpy. sort of like a waiter thing... never be mean to them because they can 'accidently' spit in your food and you not know it and as you eat and go OOOH AND AAHHH they laugh knowing you are savoring mouth juice from them.

anyway anyway, then i was late for work because i had to wait for the doctor of mechanical expertise to fix the t-ride. so it was not a good morning. but as the day strecthed out it was all okay i guess. i liked it best when a lady from my bank called me. i became all worried like thinking they reviewed my account and said LOOK AT SPENDING HABITS!! DEAR LORD!@# TAKE PLASTIC MONEY AWAY!@>! but it was not like that instead a lady with a nice voice told me that i had good pay back habits (who would have thunk it) and they wanted to give me more PLASTIC MONEY!@# i asked how much and she said 1500 and i said OH and i guess she thought i was disappointed with 1500 but i was not i was shocked because i just was given 500 and then she said HOW ABOUT 2000>!? and i said NONONO because i will spend that on stuff i do not need and be stuck in a debt state so i said HOW ABOUT 1000 and she agreed. thank you BANK LADY!@#!# [mechanical laugh]
* * * * * *
crazy eh? i thought so... (i love that i was even more long winded back than too... and that was before the I AM A DRUNK lifestyle).
what i laugh about though when i am reading this stuff is that the bank part about the credit and i was like NONONO LADY DONT GIVE ME CREDIT well i wonder what happened to that frame of mind because hi shortly after they uped my limit to a HUGE limit which i loved especially when i 'realized' i was gay and was like PARTY ALL THE TIME PARTY ALL THE TIME all eddie murphy style and totally payed for everybody. hah. i am still licking my wound called a consolidation loan....

and ps- all of you still suck. i post more pictures of tango and not one reply. fuck you. people can post pictures of their dogs and cats and its all fucking OMG YOUR PET IS SO ADORABLE everywhere... i post pictures of my turtle and not one comment. you all suck or there is no 'you all'. i think that is the case. sorry.

pictoral interlude - tango

-tangos got his own myspace.

trying to remember maui internet

-lately i have been missing hawaii something bad. it is all this horrible rainy weather i am sure but i am missing it and i want to go away. it was this time last year i was getting incredibly excited for hawaii even though i was not travelling until may but it was booked and signed and sealed and we were for sure going. i do not know where we are going to go this year... i am hearing rumblings of mexico and that would be fun because nothing like a week of nothing'ness and drinking and all inclusive are magical words meaning drink all you want.

not to mention i miss the tanning that was always fun in hawaii... and being called BRA. that was fun. i also miss the hawaiian people on the end of this huge pier thing in waikiki where there were these kids all sketched out and it made me think of DOG the bounty hunter and his crusade against crystal meth. that was fun.

and i miss when bitch and i were looking for some place to go hang out with other hawaii fags and some guy tried sending us to a porn shop that had glory holes in the bathroom because you know that was what i was looking for when i asked him HEY IF YOU WERE A FAG WHERE WOULD YOU GO TO HAVE FUN... that was fun. when i gave the guy colorful words back to his recommendation like YOU ARE SENDING US TO A PLACE WITH GLORY HOLES??!?!? ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY he called me bitchy after that. hah. that was funny. then we went to some gross gay club that was uber boring but the beer was cheap. that was sorta fun. we got sushi and beer after and ate that at our hotel listening to the big hula type music from below our room. that was fun. anway i am just missing hawaii...

-so as of wednesday bitch and i will have actual internet at our apartment not just psuedo internet that we are jackingoff some people who are stupid to leave their wireless connections open. but ya... so that is exciting not to have to hang my laptop half way out our bedroom window just to get a signal.

-at home during the evening i will be doing something and i will think HAH THAT WAS FUNNY I WILL TYPE THAT TOMORROW ON MY BLAWG and then come the next day i start to try and think of what that was because i remember it being super funny especially how i can twist it to make bitch look uber silly and me uber fucking genious but then i forget and i am left with shit to type about except about how i think of stuff to type but then forget. sorry.

todays day of the word: UBER (ooo-burrr). adjective: fag talk for BIG TIME or HARSH or INSANELY BIG.

ie-"bitch is an UBER fag..."

laser blahs and nativity wives

-this morning on the news they were talking about winter blahs and they did this story in toronto and i found it funny because its like their first snowfall and suddenly they are depressed...? um okay. but anyway they were interviewing this lady and they showed how she cures her blahness and it showed how she sits down opens her legs and sticks this thing in between and i was like THAT WILL CURE YOUR BLAHNESS ALL RIGHT but it was just a lamp and she stares at it.... um okay. the story would have been so much better if they recommendededed masturbating for the cure. i would have an excuse for the winter months suddenly too!!!

-on the weekend we went to the laser light show and the last time i went i was completely stoned and with a group of people who were on mushrooms and oh ya i was in like grade 10 so it was super fun back then but on the weekend i went sober and sans people of fungus and it fucking sucked. they played the beattles elenor rigby for christ sakes. um i like that song sure but for laser song effects that was a bad choice. i recommend you do not waste your money.

-i watched tv last night and there was this thing on hip hop wives and i learneded that snoop dog has a wife of like 20 years or something. i did not know that. it surprises me. not because he is all hot because he is not but that i have never heard of her before and she talks just like he does.. you know stoned.

-jabba the bitch learned that he is actually 1/4 native. HOLY CRAP huh? it has already gotten to his head because he does talking like DONT LITTER THIS IS MY LAND!! and I WILL GET SCHOOL FOR FREE BECAUSE YOUR PEOPLE BOUGHT MY PEOPLE OFF WITH BOOZE. so ya. it will be fun. i should call him jabba-hontas.

-see i have nothing significant to say so i just thought i would share some random stories all of which are true. except for me masturbating all the time. lately i have been lazy and too tired to even do that. oo maybe next time i will share the super secret coy way of shitting in public washrooms without making KERPLOOSH sounds. are you in suspense........?

relinquish the tango paint

-i just realized probably from now on and forever ever most of my little posts title things will revolve around tango because if you have not caught on i love him a lot. speaking of tango jabba the bitch with one statement uttered from his mouth has relinquished any ownership of tango because we were sitting there and we were looking at our hydro bill and i made some comment that with tango our hydro may be a bit more up there because we are always leaving his light on and filter and he said well we could have gotten the internet then and i turned to jabba and said all shocked SO YOU ARE SAYING YOU WOULD RATHER THE INTERNET THAN TANGO??????? and he said yes. so he has relinquishededed. i really like that word. i have not ever really used that i know of consciously and that night i turned and said I AM NOW SOLE PROPRIETOR AND YOU HAVE NOW RELINQUISHED ALL OWNERSHIP OF TANGO AND HE IS NOW MINE AND IF WE DIVORCE I GET CUSTODY to which he said TOTE. i do not know where the words relinquished and proprietor came from and i do not even know if they are used properly there but it sounded good and it confused jabba either that or his mind started to wander to food i am not sure but all i know is tango is mine. not ours. mine. hah. relinquished. when i type that word i picture squeezing soy beans and i do not know why but i just do.
-i just looked up the words proprietor and relinquished and i am fucking brilliant because i did proper usage.

-speaking of tango i am such a loser that i just got paid and instead of thinking things like beer, food, beer, beer, rye, beer and more food ... i am thinking things like stuff for tango. oy.

-i wish there was another painting jam tonight but as far as i know there is not but i want to go and use all my friends supplies again and paint something neat and have another friend see it and ask to buy it. that was cool. i have yet to sell a painting because i get all stupid and soft and just give them away but i need to stop doing that. from now on i am selling. no more giving. just selling. however keenan you can try and win it in a game of poker... just an idea...

-i am reading john irvings book Until I Find You because it came out in soft cover and i refused to buy it when it came out in hardcover because i am one of the picking book freaks and hates hardcover books but anywayanyway i forgot how much i love john irving and it is making me want to go back and read all of his other books which i have re-read like 3 times already one of my favorites being a prayer for owen meany which is a great book. i am not plowing through this book like i did the da vince code because with irving i like to savor his books. they are fucking great actually. highly recommend.

pictoral interlude - painting jam

-on friday night i went over to friend tylers and a bunch of met up and brought all our art supplies and shit and we just drank and paintededed.







-that is friend tyler... if you live in vancouver and pick up this months xtrawest you will see friend tyler on the cover talking about his comic strip about fags in vancouver called the brotherhood mind you the article is so full of it because like at one point it says tyler is a top. HAH!








and that was my final outcome but i am actually still touching up because near the end of the night when the drinks were sliding down my throat a little easier my attention span and any skill i may have diluted with the rye. but all in all it was fun doing this because it was neat seeing other peoples styles and skills and what the come up with like the computer programmer of the group did this thing with colorful swoops and then painted 1's and 0's all over the place. but ya good times. we are going to do this again and then open a gallary and be the richest group of fags you will ever know. more so than n'sync. mark my words people....

tango jabba paint

-that is a picture of jabba the bitch i took the other day to get my point across hah well no really i know it looks super life like but i actually just cut and paste bitch's head onto jabba haha i am great and i thought about putting it on the fridge to stop jabba the bitch from eating but knowing jabba it would just REMIND him to eat... so i veto'd that idea. jabba asked me if i thought he was fat but i said very nicely because i know how these questions go i said NO YOU ARE NOT FAT YES YOU HAVE GAINED A BIT OF WEIGHT AND I PREFER THAT ACTUALLY BUT NO YOU ARE NOT FAT and jabba said so you are saying i am fat and i was like NO... and then i stopped because it was going to go in circles and i did not him to get dizzy and get sick since he just finished two mini pizzas. he was eating tons because he had like 6 days off in a row. the other day he was walking and i called him WHAT ARE YOU DOING? and he said JABBA'S ON THE MOVE!!! and i laughed i though that was funny and then when he got home he said he had to eat to make up for all the calories he burnt off.... i am thinking he has seen some of my bear (as in big fat gay hairy guys not furry cute animals) porn and is thinking that is what i am all into. hah. sucka!!!

-um you all suck because not one of you said HEY I LOVE YOUR TURTLE and maybe because you think i do not actually own one well i do now own one and i know for sure because i spent all morning turkey basting all his turtle shit out of the tank. thank you for all your kind comments that you never sent or advise on how to take care of turtles or even stories about how you had a turtle and he died or something. whatev i love tango and so would you if you saw him in person.

update:sorry dawn i forgot that i did not post a picture.... now you suck it! hah. he is cute no?
update 2: actually i did post a picture of tango back on the 25th. i retract my apology. you all go back to sucking!!! but i will leave this one up just in case if scrolling down is too hard to do.


-i am going to a 'painting jam' that is what friend tyler is calling it so ya and i will let you know what i paint but since i am thinking tyler fucking stole the idea from when i told him i want to have painting parties with raymi so i am going to paint something and i will tribute it to raymi since she can not be there to slap tyler for stealing our idea.

new year da vinci couch

-happy new year. bah. i went to friend sharis for new years with bitch and we drank and i fell asleep on the dog bed. then sharis dad made us breakfast the next morning and it was good. the end.

-at christmas friend shari bought me a copy of the da vinci code book and i normally would not have read it or bought it but since she bought it for me i thought i would give it a go and needless to be saying i am almost done it and i started it like a week a go. i am just plowing through. it is good. surprised me but i am guessing it would not be a best seller if it was not. i have the movie but i have not watched it because i am wanting to finish the book first but last night i decided to watch it though i was not finished the book but because i had a couple of beer i fell asleep and do not remember so that is good.

-last night before the movie i went and had drinks with bucci, tyler and randy and it was good seeing them and we toasted new years and we realized tyler is single because he has a fear of flatulance and we explained this to the waiter chick and she laughed and said she would not break up with someone because they fart but she would if they dutchovened her and i told her that her and i would never work out. she went to tell a story about this girl and we thought the story would be about flatulance since that was what we were talking about and then she left and then came back to finish her story and it was about her coworker who was to meet up with some guy who was dared to go back to her place and do a strip tease for a stranger and he never showed and she just kept pouring her coworker drinks. her story sucked. we left her a tip though because she sounded like she had permanent hellium voice.

-tango is good. he is cute. i still love him because he has not died yet.

ps-
i was going to make another post but i like to stick to my one post a day rule anywayanyway from this day forward bitch is no longer bitch... he is jabba. as in jabba the hut. he is devouring our apartment and he is not stopping and i do not mind really because whatev i do not care but i care when he eats all the food i bought the previous night. i called him jabba the bitch and he loves it actually. i am excited that i get to be the mentally abusive boyfriend. i heard him with some wrapper or something and i yelled out this morning WHAT ARE YOU NOW!!! (notice i said it not with question marks but with exclimnation points because i was not asking i was stating). stupid jabba.

and he also likes to take pictures of me sleeping on the couch and though yes i am doing some admiting that it may not look super duper comfy but it obviously was if i am sleeping no... or i drank too many beer i am not sure but the point is i was sleeping so i am fine.