random saying drawers

-so i was thinking about when i broke up with my last girlfriend that i had back in like the day i think i was about 21 and anyway when we were about to break up she called me and was like WE NEED TO TALK and the way the conversation was going it was very aloof like and not pin point on what the problem was and i really did not see it coming but she was saying things like I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO and ITS NOT FAIR TO BOTH OF US and anywayanyway i started thinking OMG SHE IS TELLING ME SHE IS PREGNANT and so i started saying things like WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO ... WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO and she then said she was coming over to my place to talk in person and i was thinking HOW AM I GOING TO TELL MY PARENTS because when my dad was young he had a girl like 17 young and he always said do not follow in my foot steps so i was all freaking out and when she came over we started talking and i was so concerned and then she said something like so i think we need to stop dating and i was like WHAT ABOUT THE... ARE YOU PREGNANT? and she looked at me and was like NOOOO and i said oh what is this all about then and she said that she thought we should stop going out and that was all and i laughed and i was like PHEW THATS IT?!?! and like laughed more with relief and ya. it was a funny awkward but anywayanyway i thought about all this today and i thought WHAT IF she was pregnant and that would mean i would have a little 6 year old running around. sorta cute when i think about it but i know if she did have my baby i would have been thrust back into the closet a little harder and then live this life of straight couple suburban bullshit and then after 40 years of marriage get busted with a male prostitute and shamed. the end.

-bitch and i were talking and bitch has some classic lines that he says and you shake your head or you laugh and we were talking about vaginas or something and i mentioned something like ALOT OF GUYS DONT EVEN KNOW WHERE THE CLIT IS and bitches response was I KNOW ITS LIKE WHAT DRAWER IS IT IN?? hahah. i laughed. i laughed so hard i had to write it down and i found the paper this morning that is why i bring this up. when we were with n and elizabeth we were talking about tanya and how she was in accounting and then bitch piped up YA SHE IS LIKE SMART SHE KNOWS ALLL THE NUMBERS. we all laughed then too. i should create a book.

-tonight i am going into surrey to go drinking with people from highschool (THANKS FACEBOOK) and it will be fun i know it and i already warned my parents that i am coming into surrey to go drinking with people from highschool and that i am bring a set of house keys so dont be surprised if i pop up at like 3am all trashed and my mom said "that is good thanks for telling me i will be sure to leave the top lock on". bitch. she wont though. she knows better.