establishing an uncertain africa

-so i have established with bitch that is no longer allowed to say I DONT KNOW in our relationship. it boggles my mind how someone can make it through life thinking that that simple phrase is the saviour to all and every difficult question out there.
BITCH WHERE ARE YOUR KEYS?...i dont know
BITCH WHERE IS YOUR WALLET?...i dont know
BITCH WHAT IS THIS ON YOUR JEANS?...i dont know
BITCH WHAT DID YOU JUST DO FIVE MINUTES AGO?...i dont know
BITCH HOW DO YOU MAKE IT THROUGH LIFE?...i dont know

seriously this kid says i dont know more than someone with alzheimers. i explained that i will not hear him say i dont know anymore and he asked what would i do if he did utter it and i said SLIT YOUR MUTHAFUCKIN THROAT and he understood.

i asked him yesterday where he put my keys he used to take the garbage out with and he looked and said I DONT... (at this point my eyes glaze over with fury and hate) QUITE REMEMBER EXACTLY WHERE I PUT THEM BUT I BELIEVE THEY MAY BE IN THE KITCHEN. they were not. they were in his jeans pocket. i give him credit because for a minute there i was sharpening my ever loved meat knife to run along his jugular.

-on the weekend we did not do much. it was good. though had a huge dinner for ameda and anika. we talked about getting banged by 10 guys in a row and how we should not work to achieve that dream but we can try for 3 in a row and then we talked about sending our children to africa to learn stuff rather than have them go to school in surrey and i was like BUT WE DO NOT HAVE KIDS and they were like we would if we got banged by 10 guys in a row and i was like WHY ARE WE REFERING TO SEX AS 'BANGING'...and then they left for some party to get it on with some black men. dave and i stayed up drinking playing video games. next day i went to work for 4 fucking hours on a saturday night but eneded up getting paid more than i what i was expecting so i bought a flat of beer. how cool is that a flat of beer. last time i bought a flat of something was when i went shopping at cosco and bought a shitload of canadian dry. needless to say sunday was a write off but a relaxed one at that. i have pictures somewhere... maybe tomorrow i will load them.