knowing about jaundice paint

-so that is my newest painting i am working on but it is not done. i have come to the conclusion that i can not finish paintings. i suck at completing stuff. well painting at least. i should start an exhibition entitled INCOMPLETE i would be more successful that way i think. i am all about texture as you can see i am just playing though. the painting is sitting on my new art easel that bitch got me for christmas. i love it.

-so bitch and i have internet at home and i thought that since i now have internet at home i would be an uber loser and be on it all the time but bitch is all about myspace so it is hard to seperate him from the computer i have not had a chance to use it but that is okay because i am a fucking loser and went out and bought a nintendo dslite for myself plus 3 games. i have been too enthralled with that to even care about the internet or bitch for that matter.

-i helped friend skwirl move on the weekend and it sucked because everyone bailed so it was just skwirl and i and i was fucking HUNG OVER from the night before of drinking with friends at home and the first piece of furniture we move i totally squached my hand between a wall and sofa and it hurt to the point i was almost in tears and i thought i broke it but i did not and now it has a funny yellow gross jaundice color to it and it hurts alot and sore and it sucks because it is the hand i er...um write with.

-you know when you think someone knows something about you but you are not sure but you do not want to ask because just in case they do not know but you want to know but can not ask... i dislike that.

sympathy credit sucking

-i was speaking very briefly to elizabeth on msn and she is not feeling well not so much whatsoever and when she was describing her head all congested like and stuff and how her nose and eyes are running and as she was saying well not saying as i was reading what she typed my eyes started to water all crazy like for no reason and i was like I AM HAVING SYMPATHY RUNS and then she had to go lie down. then out of boredom i was looking at my previous life and what is really weird but not really because i am sure people are sick and all runny gross like always somewhere in the world but i will make this to be like a SUPER CRAZY COINCIDENT ... i was sick exactly 5 years ago on this day... here is my post from January 26, 2002:
* * * * * *
1.26.o2
-i am not so sure that i am all healthy right now. i have caught a cold. i do not think the word caught is a good word to use because when i think 'caught' i think of something i was after or chasing to get but a cold is definately not something i chase after. instead the cold was inflicted upon me by some mean germs i guess and now i am all runny like. my eyes and nose are having races to release the most fluid. i think right now my eyes are winning because they do not stop watering where as with my nose i can go SNNNNIFFIFCHIFHFH and it is not so runny anymore and that is usually when people yell BLOW YOUR NOSE!@! but it is easier to go SNNNNNIFIFIIFCHIFHICH!@#

this cold thing started yesterday morning when i woke up and i think yesterday morning was a very bad morning for me. i woke up with this big ol headache, one nostril completely plugged. i got up to get dressed and smashed my knee on my chair. i stumbled around to get dressed and actually did that and then i went outside to start my truck and then my truck made funny sounds. i was very angry with that because i just finished paying moneymoney for the truck to be fixed and now it was broken again. so i had to drive to the doctor of mechanical expertise to fix it and i said CAR DOCTOR MAN!!! YOU JUST HEALED T-RIDE AND NOW T-RIDE IS BROKEN AGAIN!@! FIX THIS!@> because i was not feeling well. so they fixed it and it was the belt or something. i am thinking though i should not be grumpy like with people who work on vehicles because they can do stuff that can make you have to bring it in again so you pay them more and they laugh at you because you are broke from being grumpy. sort of like a waiter thing... never be mean to them because they can 'accidently' spit in your food and you not know it and as you eat and go OOOH AND AAHHH they laugh knowing you are savoring mouth juice from them.

anyway anyway, then i was late for work because i had to wait for the doctor of mechanical expertise to fix the t-ride. so it was not a good morning. but as the day strecthed out it was all okay i guess. i liked it best when a lady from my bank called me. i became all worried like thinking they reviewed my account and said LOOK AT SPENDING HABITS!! DEAR LORD!@# TAKE PLASTIC MONEY AWAY!@>! but it was not like that instead a lady with a nice voice told me that i had good pay back habits (who would have thunk it) and they wanted to give me more PLASTIC MONEY!@# i asked how much and she said 1500 and i said OH and i guess she thought i was disappointed with 1500 but i was not i was shocked because i just was given 500 and then she said HOW ABOUT 2000>!? and i said NONONO because i will spend that on stuff i do not need and be stuck in a debt state so i said HOW ABOUT 1000 and she agreed. thank you BANK LADY!@#!# [mechanical laugh]
* * * * * *
crazy eh? i thought so... (i love that i was even more long winded back than too... and that was before the I AM A DRUNK lifestyle).
what i laugh about though when i am reading this stuff is that the bank part about the credit and i was like NONONO LADY DONT GIVE ME CREDIT well i wonder what happened to that frame of mind because hi shortly after they uped my limit to a HUGE limit which i loved especially when i 'realized' i was gay and was like PARTY ALL THE TIME PARTY ALL THE TIME all eddie murphy style and totally payed for everybody. hah. i am still licking my wound called a consolidation loan....

and ps- all of you still suck. i post more pictures of tango and not one reply. fuck you. people can post pictures of their dogs and cats and its all fucking OMG YOUR PET IS SO ADORABLE everywhere... i post pictures of my turtle and not one comment. you all suck or there is no 'you all'. i think that is the case. sorry.

pictoral interlude - tango

-tangos got his own myspace.

trying to remember maui internet

-lately i have been missing hawaii something bad. it is all this horrible rainy weather i am sure but i am missing it and i want to go away. it was this time last year i was getting incredibly excited for hawaii even though i was not travelling until may but it was booked and signed and sealed and we were for sure going. i do not know where we are going to go this year... i am hearing rumblings of mexico and that would be fun because nothing like a week of nothing'ness and drinking and all inclusive are magical words meaning drink all you want.

not to mention i miss the tanning that was always fun in hawaii... and being called BRA. that was fun. i also miss the hawaiian people on the end of this huge pier thing in waikiki where there were these kids all sketched out and it made me think of DOG the bounty hunter and his crusade against crystal meth. that was fun.

and i miss when bitch and i were looking for some place to go hang out with other hawaii fags and some guy tried sending us to a porn shop that had glory holes in the bathroom because you know that was what i was looking for when i asked him HEY IF YOU WERE A FAG WHERE WOULD YOU GO TO HAVE FUN... that was fun. when i gave the guy colorful words back to his recommendation like YOU ARE SENDING US TO A PLACE WITH GLORY HOLES??!?!? ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY he called me bitchy after that. hah. that was funny. then we went to some gross gay club that was uber boring but the beer was cheap. that was sorta fun. we got sushi and beer after and ate that at our hotel listening to the big hula type music from below our room. that was fun. anway i am just missing hawaii...

-so as of wednesday bitch and i will have actual internet at our apartment not just psuedo internet that we are jackingoff some people who are stupid to leave their wireless connections open. but ya... so that is exciting not to have to hang my laptop half way out our bedroom window just to get a signal.

-at home during the evening i will be doing something and i will think HAH THAT WAS FUNNY I WILL TYPE THAT TOMORROW ON MY BLAWG and then come the next day i start to try and think of what that was because i remember it being super funny especially how i can twist it to make bitch look uber silly and me uber fucking genious but then i forget and i am left with shit to type about except about how i think of stuff to type but then forget. sorry.

todays day of the word: UBER (ooo-burrr). adjective: fag talk for BIG TIME or HARSH or INSANELY BIG.

ie-"bitch is an UBER fag..."

laser blahs and nativity wives

-this morning on the news they were talking about winter blahs and they did this story in toronto and i found it funny because its like their first snowfall and suddenly they are depressed...? um okay. but anyway they were interviewing this lady and they showed how she cures her blahness and it showed how she sits down opens her legs and sticks this thing in between and i was like THAT WILL CURE YOUR BLAHNESS ALL RIGHT but it was just a lamp and she stares at it.... um okay. the story would have been so much better if they recommendededed masturbating for the cure. i would have an excuse for the winter months suddenly too!!!

-on the weekend we went to the laser light show and the last time i went i was completely stoned and with a group of people who were on mushrooms and oh ya i was in like grade 10 so it was super fun back then but on the weekend i went sober and sans people of fungus and it fucking sucked. they played the beattles elenor rigby for christ sakes. um i like that song sure but for laser song effects that was a bad choice. i recommend you do not waste your money.

-i watched tv last night and there was this thing on hip hop wives and i learneded that snoop dog has a wife of like 20 years or something. i did not know that. it surprises me. not because he is all hot because he is not but that i have never heard of her before and she talks just like he does.. you know stoned.

-jabba the bitch learned that he is actually 1/4 native. HOLY CRAP huh? it has already gotten to his head because he does talking like DONT LITTER THIS IS MY LAND!! and I WILL GET SCHOOL FOR FREE BECAUSE YOUR PEOPLE BOUGHT MY PEOPLE OFF WITH BOOZE. so ya. it will be fun. i should call him jabba-hontas.

-see i have nothing significant to say so i just thought i would share some random stories all of which are true. except for me masturbating all the time. lately i have been lazy and too tired to even do that. oo maybe next time i will share the super secret coy way of shitting in public washrooms without making KERPLOOSH sounds. are you in suspense........?

relinquish the tango paint

-i just realized probably from now on and forever ever most of my little posts title things will revolve around tango because if you have not caught on i love him a lot. speaking of tango jabba the bitch with one statement uttered from his mouth has relinquished any ownership of tango because we were sitting there and we were looking at our hydro bill and i made some comment that with tango our hydro may be a bit more up there because we are always leaving his light on and filter and he said well we could have gotten the internet then and i turned to jabba and said all shocked SO YOU ARE SAYING YOU WOULD RATHER THE INTERNET THAN TANGO??????? and he said yes. so he has relinquishededed. i really like that word. i have not ever really used that i know of consciously and that night i turned and said I AM NOW SOLE PROPRIETOR AND YOU HAVE NOW RELINQUISHED ALL OWNERSHIP OF TANGO AND HE IS NOW MINE AND IF WE DIVORCE I GET CUSTODY to which he said TOTE. i do not know where the words relinquished and proprietor came from and i do not even know if they are used properly there but it sounded good and it confused jabba either that or his mind started to wander to food i am not sure but all i know is tango is mine. not ours. mine. hah. relinquished. when i type that word i picture squeezing soy beans and i do not know why but i just do.
-i just looked up the words proprietor and relinquished and i am fucking brilliant because i did proper usage.

-speaking of tango i am such a loser that i just got paid and instead of thinking things like beer, food, beer, beer, rye, beer and more food ... i am thinking things like stuff for tango. oy.

-i wish there was another painting jam tonight but as far as i know there is not but i want to go and use all my friends supplies again and paint something neat and have another friend see it and ask to buy it. that was cool. i have yet to sell a painting because i get all stupid and soft and just give them away but i need to stop doing that. from now on i am selling. no more giving. just selling. however keenan you can try and win it in a game of poker... just an idea...

-i am reading john irvings book Until I Find You because it came out in soft cover and i refused to buy it when it came out in hardcover because i am one of the picking book freaks and hates hardcover books but anywayanyway i forgot how much i love john irving and it is making me want to go back and read all of his other books which i have re-read like 3 times already one of my favorites being a prayer for owen meany which is a great book. i am not plowing through this book like i did the da vince code because with irving i like to savor his books. they are fucking great actually. highly recommend.

pictoral interlude - painting jam

-on friday night i went over to friend tylers and a bunch of met up and brought all our art supplies and shit and we just drank and paintededed.







-that is friend tyler... if you live in vancouver and pick up this months xtrawest you will see friend tyler on the cover talking about his comic strip about fags in vancouver called the brotherhood mind you the article is so full of it because like at one point it says tyler is a top. HAH!








and that was my final outcome but i am actually still touching up because near the end of the night when the drinks were sliding down my throat a little easier my attention span and any skill i may have diluted with the rye. but all in all it was fun doing this because it was neat seeing other peoples styles and skills and what the come up with like the computer programmer of the group did this thing with colorful swoops and then painted 1's and 0's all over the place. but ya good times. we are going to do this again and then open a gallary and be the richest group of fags you will ever know. more so than n'sync. mark my words people....

tango jabba paint

-that is a picture of jabba the bitch i took the other day to get my point across hah well no really i know it looks super life like but i actually just cut and paste bitch's head onto jabba haha i am great and i thought about putting it on the fridge to stop jabba the bitch from eating but knowing jabba it would just REMIND him to eat... so i veto'd that idea. jabba asked me if i thought he was fat but i said very nicely because i know how these questions go i said NO YOU ARE NOT FAT YES YOU HAVE GAINED A BIT OF WEIGHT AND I PREFER THAT ACTUALLY BUT NO YOU ARE NOT FAT and jabba said so you are saying i am fat and i was like NO... and then i stopped because it was going to go in circles and i did not him to get dizzy and get sick since he just finished two mini pizzas. he was eating tons because he had like 6 days off in a row. the other day he was walking and i called him WHAT ARE YOU DOING? and he said JABBA'S ON THE MOVE!!! and i laughed i though that was funny and then when he got home he said he had to eat to make up for all the calories he burnt off.... i am thinking he has seen some of my bear (as in big fat gay hairy guys not furry cute animals) porn and is thinking that is what i am all into. hah. sucka!!!

-um you all suck because not one of you said HEY I LOVE YOUR TURTLE and maybe because you think i do not actually own one well i do now own one and i know for sure because i spent all morning turkey basting all his turtle shit out of the tank. thank you for all your kind comments that you never sent or advise on how to take care of turtles or even stories about how you had a turtle and he died or something. whatev i love tango and so would you if you saw him in person.

update:sorry dawn i forgot that i did not post a picture.... now you suck it! hah. he is cute no?
update 2: actually i did post a picture of tango back on the 25th. i retract my apology. you all go back to sucking!!! but i will leave this one up just in case if scrolling down is too hard to do.


-i am going to a 'painting jam' that is what friend tyler is calling it so ya and i will let you know what i paint but since i am thinking tyler fucking stole the idea from when i told him i want to have painting parties with raymi so i am going to paint something and i will tribute it to raymi since she can not be there to slap tyler for stealing our idea.

new year da vinci couch

-happy new year. bah. i went to friend sharis for new years with bitch and we drank and i fell asleep on the dog bed. then sharis dad made us breakfast the next morning and it was good. the end.

-at christmas friend shari bought me a copy of the da vinci code book and i normally would not have read it or bought it but since she bought it for me i thought i would give it a go and needless to be saying i am almost done it and i started it like a week a go. i am just plowing through. it is good. surprised me but i am guessing it would not be a best seller if it was not. i have the movie but i have not watched it because i am wanting to finish the book first but last night i decided to watch it though i was not finished the book but because i had a couple of beer i fell asleep and do not remember so that is good.

-last night before the movie i went and had drinks with bucci, tyler and randy and it was good seeing them and we toasted new years and we realized tyler is single because he has a fear of flatulance and we explained this to the waiter chick and she laughed and said she would not break up with someone because they fart but she would if they dutchovened her and i told her that her and i would never work out. she went to tell a story about this girl and we thought the story would be about flatulance since that was what we were talking about and then she left and then came back to finish her story and it was about her coworker who was to meet up with some guy who was dared to go back to her place and do a strip tease for a stranger and he never showed and she just kept pouring her coworker drinks. her story sucked. we left her a tip though because she sounded like she had permanent hellium voice.

-tango is good. he is cute. i still love him because he has not died yet.

ps-
i was going to make another post but i like to stick to my one post a day rule anywayanyway from this day forward bitch is no longer bitch... he is jabba. as in jabba the hut. he is devouring our apartment and he is not stopping and i do not mind really because whatev i do not care but i care when he eats all the food i bought the previous night. i called him jabba the bitch and he loves it actually. i am excited that i get to be the mentally abusive boyfriend. i heard him with some wrapper or something and i yelled out this morning WHAT ARE YOU NOW!!! (notice i said it not with question marks but with exclimnation points because i was not asking i was stating). stupid jabba.

and he also likes to take pictures of me sleeping on the couch and though yes i am doing some admiting that it may not look super duper comfy but it obviously was if i am sleeping no... or i drank too many beer i am not sure but the point is i was sleeping so i am fine.

tango plus

-okay so i love tango and that is that. i went out last night and to a pet store and spoke with some hot daddy looking type guy that i found strangely attractive but i think it was because he was all knowledgable about turtles that i was all like fuck me now but anyway i was like i want the best for my turtle and i laid down 150 for the thing. thank gawd for christmas bonuseseses. your welcome tango you are worth it. now his water is a nice temprature, he has a cool new lil ramp thingy to hang out on and he loves to sleep in the new plants we added.

-so more about christmas... sure. um bitch got me this huge art easel so now i do not have to paint on the floor anymore all hunched over so i will not look like i have to live in notre dame which is great because i am short as is i do not need to be hunched back and lose more height. his parents totally got me this paint supply like paint and tons of brushes and also a table top easel. my parents bought me mortal kombat armageddon because i am a fucking loser and i love that whole franchise, um weirdly tons of dali stuff, new iron and ironing board which i did ask for believe it or not. um and stuff. you know random stuff i was hoping for another card game about selling weed like two years ago which my mom totally rules at selling weed in the game that is which is funny because she has never has smoked a joint in her life. anway it was good busy but good.

-now new years is coming and i fucking hate new years and i do not use the word hate lightly but i fucking hate new years. thank you.

christmas tango

-merry christmas. when i was little i would always ask for a turtle and my mother unit would always say NO THEY STINK AND CARRY DISEASE and i would do joking about brothers but anywayanyway so i never got a turtle and that was always stuck in my head that THEY STINK AND CARRY DISEASE and plus i did not want the responsibility well for christmas friends amanda and tanya thought bitch and i were ready and got us a BABY TURTLE!!! its a red ear slider and he is super super cute and i think it is a he or it could be a she i do not know and i do not care but i named him tango. i spent most of yesterday watching him. he is tiny and i am afraid to play with him just yet but i will. he finally started eating this morning because maybe he was not as scared shitless as he was the last two night. anywayanyway TANGO is the shit and i am fully going to take this on and if he dies i will kill myself. he will not stink because i will change the tank all the time and stuff. just you wait i will be the best turtle dad ever.
i do not have pictures up yet but i will when i go into work on wednesday. he is sooo cute. he does this thing where he swims to the water filter and goes in front of it and just thrashes about and i am not sure if he does it on purpose but it is cute and funny to watch. if anyone knows some good tips on turtle love let me know... i am new at this.
that is all for now. merry christmas.

update: here is my favoritestest picture of tango


when i originally posted i had not done much research and then i did and i will honestly say i was all like OH SHIT these things are high fucking maintence and not because i can not handle it i thought i would not have time to deal with it so i almost said we had to give it back because i did not want him to die and then ya. like A he should not be in gravel like in the picture because they eat like everything and needless to say gravel does not do friendly things to turtle digestive tracks and so ya we cleaned all the gravel out and we need certain type of lamps and ramps and heaters and shit and so ya. but i looked at him when i came home and i can not give him up. he is too cute. i love him. more than bitch. in that turtle way. seriously. i do. its quite sad....

sexy devil shots

-so congrats to raymi because she won best diarist with the weblog awards. it is funny though because there are all these angry house wives who do nothing but compose shit on their blog all day and they are like HOW DID SHE WIN and it is because she does not talk about her kid puking up gummy bears because no one cares.

-last night i did an early christmas exchange with friend skwirl and it was good and i gave her a painting, swarovski crystal, shirst, calendars and stuff. i spoil people i like. i got tattoo money because she is tired of hearing me say WHEN I GET PAID I WILL GET MY TURTLE TATTOO and also sex and the city season 4 because it is the bestestestest season of them all because that is when carrie dates ayden and he is in his underwear alot. i like ayden. he was cute in his whities. so it was nice. we drank wine, did shots of tequila and ate pizza oh and then played card games.

-i bought this new game for ps2 and i love it and it is driving me crazy at work i am just thinking of it and how i have to work tonight as well so i will not be getting home until like 11pm and how i want to play it but i can not until 11pm so i think about calling in sick to thegap so i can go home and play the game and then i get a text message from bitch who is like I AM OFF WORK TIME TO GO PLAY DEVIL KINGS and that is the name of the game and it makes me more antsy so i may just give up making 60-70 bucks tonight to just go home and play the game because i love it like marry it type love which is sad but i have no other good games right now.

-i have friday off and i am looking forward to doing nothing in the morning (the afternoon is all crazy like with stuff to do but tis the season) except play DEVIL KINGS!!!

-i need to post pictures because my words suck lately....

vote for the bruising nose present

-first off before i forget and then become a horrible friend though i have never met her but we exchanged enough emails that make me laugh to call her a friend and we fantasize about having wine parties and painting and eating genoa well at least i do so that is why i am saying vote for raymi for the weblog awards. okay please and thank you.


-on saturday i went to a friends birthday party at the bourbon and i should just stop going to places where they are named after alcohol because it usually leads to no good and after the birthday visit i WAS SUPPOSED to goto a christmas party but um the birthday visit turned into lets drink lots for birthday wendy (i call her dub-cawk) and ya then i sorta remember dancing with some tall amazonian chick who will 'grinding' her knocked her on the dance floor and then i remember waking up at home. apparently birthday girl had to bring me home. i text dub-cawk and said sorry and she said no harm because everyone thought i was cute and adorable even the bar manager when they asked dub-cawk to please make me leave. i also have a brusie on my nose and a scraped elbow but i do not know the story and i do not want to.

-i tried to christmas shop last night with friend skwirl and did not work so much we just kep ending up at the lennox doing shots of tequila and double rye and gingers oh and AMAZING chicken wings covered in rock salt and pepper and i told waitress lady i love dabbing my finger in the rock salt so she brought a small little side dish of rock salt and when she cleared the plates aways she left the dish of rock salt for me and she soooo solidified her tip. good girl.

slipping out the industry gift

-the other night bitch and i were sitting and talking and he made some mention of my idustrial piercing that has been there foreverever and when i say foreverever i am meaning like when i broke up with my first girlfriend ever and ya i am one of those fags who have, how do i put this politely, actually penetrated a vagina with my penis and came and also went down on serveral too which was weird since i got off on that more than the sex with chicks but that is a seperate story all on its own and ya i got that piercing after i broke up with chickypoo who was fucking bi polar which hey i am not against but they have medication for that and i can easily guess she did not take the medication because what a fucking yo yo of emotions it was to go out with her it was like love you and hate you and love you and hate you and BREAK UP and i miss you love you miss you love you lets get back together and i am like OKAY and then love you hate you love you hate you and me going WHERE ARE THOSE BRUISES (which looked like hickeys but i gave her the benefit of the doubt) COMING FROM and she would say BOXES and then i later found out BOXES=guy she worked with so ya after that piece of information it was done and i got pierced because i was young and stupid and like I AM IN PAIN LETS INFLICT PAIN TO KNOW I AM ALIVE or some bullshit crap like that and ya. but anyway in discussing this with bitch i was like WHY AM I STILL HAVING THAT IN MY EAR and i took it out. bye bye memories of first (and last) bi polar ex girlfriend whose boughts of fellatio i did enjoy thanks to her multipierced tongue and slurpees. wow that is some past dirty laundry eh.

-i am supposed to be going to a early christmas party with friends tyler et all and it was difficult to decide whether i should go or not because tonight is the top model finale but i already know carridee is going to win so ya i am going to go and we do this thing called a 'chinese gift exchange' or something like that but one person opens a gift and then the next person goes and if they do not like it they can steal from the person who already opened a gift and i am not sure why this is called a chinese gift exchange because well if that is how chinese people exchnage gifts normally no wonder the majority just give money at christmas time because um ya that is tons easier then getting your hello kitty doll you always wanted taken by your older gay brother who is amazing at piano playing. i am going to buy a bottle of 'painted turtle' wine and include a small canvas with a turtle that i painted so my theme to my gift is painted turtle because i am a fucking genious like that and if they do not appreciate my theme i am going to fuck some people up.

pictoral interlude - fountain freezing

-this is the fountain outside of the office building and it was running during the snow-cold-storm thingy and the water kept freezing and ya it just looked neat.





and here is a picture of me since i like pictures of me wearing my first ever blazer because it actually sorta fits walking in the snow all sorta glum like because i was like HEY LETS GO WALK IN THE FIRST SNOW FALL and then after 3 minutes the novelty wore off and i hated life.

ps-the blazer is moleskin which is like the fancy way of saying its cotton but feels like velvet.

slipping the skwirl snow

-all of vancouver is like a fucking ice rink and i do not like it so much because the one pair of shoes that i had that had the slightestestest bit of traction other than dressy work shoes, well bitch sorta donated them. so anyway if i am all walking outside it is only in canvas shoes that have no traction and i live on a slight hill so it is fun skating to the corner store. bitch fell on his ass last night when him me and friend skwirl went to wine store. skwirl is staying with us for a couple of days to get out of north vancouver and we had a bottle of wine while watching project runway and we were all excited for the second hour which was supposed to be the finale so we all bundled up and went wine store walking and when we came back the finale was not on in actuality or something so i tried to watch heroes which is a fucking awesome show it is like lost and xmen wrapped in one like a bacon wrapped scallop and it is good but skwirl talked alot so i had to lose interest in the show.

so i made her sleep in the main room with no heat well not on purpose i am just not used to leaving the heat on during the night and she was not happy this morning when i woke her up and she was under a mound of like 7 million blankets but i said YOU KNOW WHERE THE HEAT THING IS and i forget what her reply was. she could not believe that bitch and i did not have a hair dyer and hello skwirl this is the first year i have had a DOO and so i helped her dry her hair with a flat iron which took forever but her hair looked amazing.

-i love how when it snows in vancouver the city is complete mayhem and ya. hi we are hosting the olympics and one snow fall and we are all shitting... hah. that is great stuff. apparently we should get more snow on thursday. i do not mind. i mind the hydro bill but i like staying in when it is nasty fucking cold out.


that is a picture of my truck when i lived in surrey and i was 'straight' but you could tell i was not that straight as i drove a ford ranger and i called it the t-ride and it had a bed in the back. but the back leaked even though i caulked every inch of it and the water would get on the mattress and mold would grow and the only people who would go in there were 20 east indian ladies i would give a ride to down river road to the albion ferry when i would go to work in maple ridge. but anyway that is about the same amount of snow surrey received on the weekend and i am glad i no longer live in surrey.

examplaint

-when i type things like "so i went home and painted..." people ask me what do you paint thinking like bathroom wall or something and i am like NO CANVAS and they ask what do you paint and i am always a little unsure to answer because i can not classify or want to classify what i paint i just paint stuff that i think is aethitically pleasing to me but here look...

*please note these are all not finished yet...

a turtle with catarax

yes its another flower...

-um i dont know what these are supposed to be. i just like colors and shapes. it is like a set but not but i will sell it as a set or seperately when i am done but i will have to murder bitch first because he loves these but if someone was willing to pay i am willing to part. pay and part.

dating santa

-on the weekend i decided to go on an 'artist's date' and that is where you dedicate like an hour plus of time to yourself and go out and do something that will inspire you creatively and i am not meaning masturbating as that takes like 5 minutes if your good at what you do and thinking up fantasies of mr.hot-suit-man on the 5th floor does not count as that is not creative it is lust and lust is bad like being gay so anywayanyway i went to my most favoritestest gallery called ayden gallery and i love it there and i am determined to get my artwork in there one day even it if means sneaking in there and randomly hanging it up with no one to notice. one day i will be famous. i totally recommend people who have an ounce of creative juices in them to go have an artist's date and go home and do whatever it is you do that is creative. i painted from 6pm to 10pm and i loved it. if i lived in the ayden gallery i would be famous by now. i am not wanting fame to be all rich and powerful but i mean hello that would be nice it is just that i am really self absorbed and i want people to recognize me now whether they like me or not that is a different story and i do not care. i think this all stems from elementary school and being all small and not ever being noticed. wow i feel like i should be lying on a couch paying some overpriced doctor to tell him why i want to be famous but now i do not need to because i just did it with the help of blogger thanx blogger.

-has anyone seen the new commercials with the hot looking santa man and it is for fido phones or something but um hello who gave fido permission to re-paint the image of santa from fat old man who laughs and makes his belly move to a hot looking 20 something with a bad beard but you can tell underneath he is like sexy good looking if he dyed his hair back to a normal color not bimbo blond.. here is the webpage and you can see the adds and bitch is like he is soooo not good looking but i am thinking otherwise. maybe i am just a sucker for argyle i do not know. no point to this but i just want you to know i have now thought about santa in the most dirtiest way possible and i should not get any presents and by not getting any presents i mean have that actor who plays santa tied and gagged under my tree. naked... okay no that is mean. we will allow him to still have his sweater since i think that is the initial source of my attraction.some bad joke about santa's 'sack' just came to mind but i will spare you...

reiki water wagon

-so basically all of vancouver is being told not to drink the water because some storm the other day apparently has fucked up all the water reservoirs and shit and they say if you drink it you may suffer "gastrointestinal illnesses" which i think is meaning like shit for three days straight or something and then i am doing some thinking HEY THIS MAY NOT BE BAD because then i can get some deserved days off AND lose some weight but then i do other thinking thoughts about how i hate when i get gassy cramps from sicks stomachs and how you curl up in a little ball which does not do any helping of the situation and i remember being little and my mom yelling at me not to curl up and relax and i would yell you relax when it feels like there is a boulder moving in your intestines and she would say fine i was only trying to help and i would yell back it is not helping... a good fart would help but your words are not helping and then ya and i know now mother always knows best. so i guess i will not drink the water but it was tempting yo.

-not that i am trying to air dirty laundry or shit but last night bitch and i got into a bit of a fight and it resulted with me storming out and walking up commercial in the rain just wondering trying to clear my head of angry thoughts and stuff and then the weirdest thing happened which would only like happen on commercial but i was approached by these two people and they asked me if i had a moment and i was like :tear: yes and they asked me to cup my hands and hold them out and normally i would be like eff you but i was just so blah whatev that i obliged and then they told me to relax which was sorta funny given the situation and then they started to wave their hands and fingers around my cupped hands and i thought they were like seizuring or something but then i felt this weird pressure in my hands and heat and it reminded me of the rave days where we would do this to people who were fucked up on E and would believe anything you did to them because you at that moment were their bestestestestest friend but anyway they did this and they told me to concentrate on the heat and relax and i did and then they told me to press my hands together and to have the heat relax the rest of my body and i was like YALL CRAZY but i did not say that and it actually though did help and they said good night and gave me this slip to attend 'reiki' class so i guess that was what that was but it was weird timing and ya. boring i know but it screwed with my head like who were those people and how did they know i needed to relax because i was 100% tense and angry but after i was like only 50% tense and angry. thanks reiki.


-tonight will be my first friday night of wagon riding sobriety so i can go into crapland tomorrow non-reeking-of-alcohol. i think i will paint tons instead. that is one thing about riding the wagon is that my brain is doing tons of creative thinking and i like it and i want to paint. who would have thunk...

-ps. before fight night bitch and i savored a filet mignon at the keg. it was fucking good. except when they asked if wanted bottle water since they could not serve water from the tap and we said yes they brought us a $8.00 bottle of evian water which i did not know was $8 i thought it was free due to water being fucked up and i did not know until the bill came but i was way to complacent to complain. fuckers.

-pps. oh ya.. i am a horrible brother... happy birthday christian. there my sibling duty on days of birth has now been completed.

dancing liver

-last weekend was a gong show. i will not link the shit because i am lazy but if you goto bitch's myspace there are like fucking gazillion lil videos of us trashed at our place and the last couple are of them dragging my passed out ass to bed. it was fun. but the next day i woke up and i was ill not like HEY HE IS ILL all cool like i mean like ILL as is still fucking feeling drunk and i had to work at crapland and so i showered thinking it would be a miracle shower to sober me up and ya no and then went into work anyway and as soon as i stepped in i was like NO I CAN NOT BE HERE i am sorta gonna get in shit for creeping into work all semi-left-over intoxicated but its okay i accept fault but it made me realize time for a breaky poo to give the liver a breather. it was drowning.

-did anyone see this shit last night. i think it is my newest favoritestest game show and the thing is i dispise william shatner, and i am not really into money game shows but this is the best because you have to pick a "dancer for your answer" and the fag they had on first blew my mind in that OH MY FUCKING GAWD WHERE DO THEY FIND THESE PEOPLE sorta way and not in the good way i mean why does america always put gay people on tv who are the epitome of flaming or just fucking overtly gay and no wonder half of america hates gays i mean i watch that shit and i hate gays and then i am like OH SHIT I AM GAY and i am thankful i missed the gay lisp genes when they were being passed out to homo babies. i want to see hot gay men like reichen or something in their underwear in game shows or in reality tv. then i will be like gay but i love it. whatever i guess i can say whatever i want and it does not matter because gaylisp man on the show last night walked away with $590,000 dollars. i loved when captain kirk would be like LADIES LETS DANCE and he would waddle around on stage doing what he thought was a dance. it was the best. oh and when he brought out the dancers he turned to gaylisp man and said NOT THAT YOU WILL CARE or something like that it was funny. the whole show was funny entertaining not in game show entertaining.
UPDATE: here is a clip from that totally shows some of the best parts between fag and captain kirk!. MURSE

-it is raining fucking big time. i want to row home.