drugging the spider shoe

-so remember how i was all like I HATE SHOE SHOPPING... well i do but my hand was forced because it has been raining and the sole of the shoe by the heel is so worn out that it decided to let water visit my dress sock on the way to work which totally sucked. i hate wet socks... like when bitch uses the washroom and decides to piss all over the floor rather than the toilet or takes a shower and half the water ends up on the floor and when he is done i unknowingly step on to his careless water/urine displacement and my sock is suddenly wet. i strongly dislike that. so i was tired of wet socks so i went to payless at lunch time and i was excited because the shoes that i have bought 3 times in a row are still being sold/made so i got a pair of the same dress shoes for like 35 bucks. that is made it okay. but after i left that store i was walking down robson to go back to work since i had done this on my lunch break and i passed by more shoe stores and i am thinking i am becoming UBER HOMO or something because i saw really nice expensive non-dress shoes and i was like OOOOOOHHHHHHOOOOOOOO and i wanted to buy them but then i slapped myself YOU ARE NOT THAT TYPE OF GAY and i walked away. scares me.

-last week when i went out coffee drinking with friend shari we saw this freak...

not sure what the fuck he was doing but while we were drinking coffee and totally catching up on stupid girl gossip like whos fucking who and who is a fucking twit and who is worth fucking, he kept creeping around and like tip toeing around tables and shit and spanish tourist people were laughing and taking pictures and then he walked away. on the way back to the office we saw him again and shari made me take a picture of his gross costume ass. he is walking right in front of the louis vuitton store in that picture and as soon as i took it he ducked into that store. can you imagine the girls faces in louis vuitton as spiderfag walked in. priceless. sometimes i love vancouver and its freaky deakys that walk around because it is entertaining unless it is a crackhead being arrested on hastings street in the morning totally making my ass late for work because everyone needs to stop and watch this 'unique' sight...

-i was thinking about how hawaii is creeping up slowly (59 days) and i was looking at myself i am totally holding on to some winter fat that is needing to be hacked off like now because i am not happy about it but my version of fat is like a fats persons dream but anyway self perception gets the better of me and anyway i have started my super-special-and-not-very-healthy-i-might-as-well-be-barfing-after-every-meal diet and that is the COFFEE DIET. whenever i feel a pang of hunger i drink coffee. totally curbs the appetite and pounds motherfucker. mind you last time i tried this i woke up at 3 in the morning to some massive massive i-think-my-guts-exploded pain at some guys house that i was having sex with at the time and i was taken to the hospital by some cabbie who made me pay a cab fare of 3.50 while i was in tears with my visa and then got shot full of morphine and had some lady nurse stick her finger up my ass saying it may feel uncomfortable while i was thinking this is more enjoyable than that fags house that i just left and totally left the hospital all fucked up on morphine cause they found nothing wrong with me. so who knows maybe by this time next week i will have stories of morphine and anal penetration from female nurses to tell... morphine is so hawt.