irish drunken arm pit ants

-so it st. patricks day and i would not be a true irish person if i did not at least mention the day that is the day to get acceptibly trashed and even more trashed and its on a friday so no having to walk into work the next day and when coworker/bosslady asks whats wrong you are not having to say IT WAS BECAUSE OF MY HERITAGE IM HUNGOVER and then they look at you with such disapproval so none of that. but ya. luck of the irish to you which means GO DRINK YOUR BRAINS OUT AND FUCK AN IRISH PERSON!@#! just do not drink the green beer something about that is not right...

bitch is not irish. he is like croatian and other random shit and i said i would give him some irish cheer. on his face. but then i thought i better wait until i am utterly hammered then give him some irish cheer. on his face. but then i thought i better wait until i am utterly hammered and aggresive with a wife beater on and then punch him in the back of the head while giving him some irish cheer. on his face. how irish is that bitch!@

-last night i had to work at theGAP and i was helping some lady with no voice but she would gasp noises that sounded like jeans and belt and shit and i totally helped her find jeans for her 'man' and she was super specific on LOW RISE but when she said it it sounded like CHLOOOCOCOOOCHSCHUHCH REEEEYYEYSISISYE i was like WHAT and she wrote it and i then repeated it back to her all deaf style OOOOHHH LLOOOOOOWWWWW RRIIIIIISSSSSEEEE and she frowned and i grabbed the jeans from the top shelf and when i did it felt like a million little red army ants biting my arm pits. i was like OW FUCK and she looked at me and i forgot that she just did not speak but she was fine with hearing and so i retracted OW SHUCK and she frowned again and anyway so she bought her shit for her man who i guess has a nice ass and that is why she is so adiment on getting low rise but at the same time his size was like 38x32. um fat much. anyway my armpits kept burning and burning and i cashed out and i went up to manager lady and i was all like LOOK IT BURNS LIKE AN STD ON MY ARM PITS and she frowned and said i could go home early where i just applied a thick layer of aloe and smoked a huge bowl and fell asleep. i woke up this morning and they still burn and i have no idea what it is but whatev i am going to get drunk tonight because i am irish.