ultra violet cum along

-so bitch and i have started tanning because we do not want to look all pastey-british when we go to maui and so yesterday i told him about this salon right by my office and he went in for 5 minutes and did this tanning-blasted-with-artifical-UV-rays thang and i went in same place at the end of the day and i did the stand up tanning-blasted-with-artifical-UV-rays thang and everytime i go into those things it makes me remember about when i was single and a big ho and i met this one guy and he came over to my place and he was like super fake and baked and i was all YOU LIKE TO TAN HUH?!? and he told me that he likes to tan because the stand up booths are the only place that he can actually get off when he masturbates and i was like HUH so i did what every self respecting fag would do and i slept (edit: when i just first published this entry i noticed i had spelt 'slept' as 'spelt' and that made me laugh at the visual it created of me sitting there naked with mr.i-masturbate-in-tanning-booths asking for origin and definition of words in hopes to spell them correctly haha) with him, took a smoke from him, and asked him to leave as my room mate did not know i was gay which was complete bullshit since because at the time i was living with the hugest queer downtown and never called the guy again. anyway there is no way i could masturbate in those things because i am all too concerned for an even tan and i would not want it too look like i had vitiligo on my genitals so needless to say though i do a thorough wipe down of those things all OCD style when i enter them because of that one time with that freak. bitch is already showing results which pisses me off but he says it is because he has native blood in him (explains his bizarre and selective tolerance to alcohol) and he says that my irish and swedish blood do the opposite and refuse the rays and i was all like whatever I HAVE BIGGER MUSCLES and that shut him up.

note i went into google and typed in tanning and the above picture is what popped up first and i find it very disturbing...