pictoral interlude - blawg people

-last night vancouver people and other people from not here sorta met up and it was because we blog. it was fun to put faces and real names to people you know only as their fake names in computer land. so i went with elizabeth and nick and we drank. and i met corinna and adam, and terra, and robyn, and chad, and pat, and tony but i really did not speak or engage in conversation with some of them because i was getting wasted and all i wanted to do was smoke and i did with robyn so that was nice. and elizabeth made me laugh alot she is fun. corinna is funny too and within like 5 minutes of sitting down we talked about jug fucks and i was like DID I CROSS A LINE and she said no so that was good we are friends.
















so after awhile the three of us realized we were drunk like really drunk and we just left and felt rude but you know when you hit that point where it is like if i am in public one more second i will die or in my case fall asleep thats how it was. so we left and i hopped on to the skytrain and fell asleep surprise and i was woken up by some skytrain cop who thought i was a retard because i asked THERE IS A GATE HOW DO I GET OUT he was all like THE ELLLAAAAVVVVVAATTTTOOORRR and i said he was fucking rude and left. like dude i am drunk not retarded. jesus. so ya when i got to street level i got into a cab and he was like I WANT A 40 DOLLAR DEPOSIT and i said i dont have it on me i need to get it from my boyfriend in vancouver he wouldnt take me so i had to call my dad and he picked me up so that was nice and someone took my smokes on the skytrain while i was sleeping so that made me angry but then again they could have taken my camera and shit so i am happy all they took were my smokes but i really needed one but my dad also brought me smokes because i told him my story good dad. then i woke up this morning really hung over. the end.

ps-keep checking bitch's blog because him amanda and tanya did this fun photo shoot that i wish i was in them and i would totally post one of the pictures but i know bitch would rip my balls off if i did that so i wont but they are fun and i wish i was in them and i know i just said that but that is because i really wish i was in them because they would be good facebook material. but he is not home so it wont be until tonight so stay in suspense.

impulse

-you know when you hear an album and you get excited. i got excited. thank you tegan and sara. your both hot in my-gay-love-totally-adore-type-way. kisses.

lost and delayed pictoral bruises

-yesterday i call doctor lady to be like SO WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME and ya they said NO ABNORMALITIES and i said WHAT NOW CAUSE I HURT STILL and she said come in for a follow up but i said no because she is not my family doctor he works out in surrey so i finally said i will go see him because he actually explains things so i did that yesterday and he bitched the clinic out for the results and that was fun to watch and he is 99% that it is damage to my ribs but the reason it did not show in the xray was because it is lower down where there is a ton of cartilage and that will not show and there is damage to the rib/cartilage blah blah blah doctor talk. i am glad he does not think it is my liver or kidney stone. the end.

-here are some pictures from the july long weekend that i just have not posted but that is the weekend my ribs got not okay because i fell asleep and they were like WATCH THIS ::HIT:: HE DOESNT EVEN FLINCH. i bet my insides flinched though they just could not see. ANYWAY done talking about that

they were playing a drinking game and you can tell by my crazy drunken laugh in the back ground that i did not need no fucking game to get drunk. suckers.

that is sharon. she fucking rules. she is from trinidad and she has the accent and everything and she is wise. i thought she hated acoustic music it was actually just her not wanting to get hit with the geetar.

joe and peters dog. i would hide too.

anyway after whistler which there are a lot of pictures but i feel lazy and it feels sorta redundant and ya. but after we went to shannon falls and sharon the girl from trinidad has never seen it so it was fun to show her and be all touristy with her



this picture was fun because we asked some guy to take the picture of the 4 of us and he was all like SO WHAT DO YOU WANT EXACTLY IN THE PICTURE and sharon turns around and looks at the waterfall and says UM THAT but with a trinidadianeese accent it was more snobby and funny.

-i thought i lost my fake burberry sunglasses i bought in mexico for 6 bucks for the second time but i just received word they were found under my friend seat in her car. my day can end now happily.

open letter to reality tv and elizabeth

dear....

elizabeth: i enjoy when you have finished pulling the weeds that you decide to call and leave a message on my phone commenting on my blawg post from the other day. it made me smile... please do it more often..OH and are you and N open to spontaneous visits? i also like how you listed bitch's blawg as JAREDS BITCH... please do not change that. bitch and i had a nice talk about you and N and we decided we NEED to hang out more often. we can do jumping jacks and N can show bitch photography tricks. write back. or call me.

victoria beckham: regardless of what the critics said you made me laugh because you are MAJOR... and FABULOUS. my favorite moment was this: (skip to 4:17 and watch...)

when you decided to get the ladies drunk i loved that. i would have done the same thing. FABULOUS.

cntm: i consider this seasons the first cycle because compared to last cycle you totally blew me away (especially since last years winner left the industry because she didnt think she belonged in modeling um ya...) with all your photo shoots and your run way show at the end had me clapping and all giddy like a little fucking fag and i love the french couture feel too it... yes i said fag and couture. congrats to rebecca.

so you think you can dance: i watched you last night after cntm and i happened to see this performance:

i do not know if it was the queen song or if it is because i have a boner for pasha but that was one of my most favoritest routines i have seen on the show even though the judges were like neh. i want to do the same routine next time i go out dancing. i think elizabeth will be a prime partner ya? i mean hello suspenders!!!!
ps. congrats to mia for her emmy nod.

big brother: i got caught up on all the episodes i missed and even though everyone hates jenn she makes me laugh. i was waiting for a close up of her camel toe in that red thing but no go i guess for cbs huh? its okay. i will still watch especially since that ANNOYING homo joe got kicked out. i did not like him and then when you showed the guy he slept with err not guy but dumbo that made him and dustin break up i laughed. thank you.

i am done now. tell next week lovers....

xox
jared

painful memories of the ds blawg

-first and foremost i would be a horrible boyfriend well not really but i thought i would at least mention that bitch has a new blog...
http://davesgotthegun.blogspot.com/
there you go bitch!@#$!

-so i went for my ct scan today and not that i was expecting some news of what is wrong with me but ya no news just the lay-down-and-YOU-WILL-HEAR-SOME-GUY-SAY-BREATHE-THREE-TIMES-
LISTEN-TO-HIM-AND-DONT-COUGH and then the things makes all these noises and i totally thought i was going to get transported to a land of magical drunken fairies but instead the lady just told me to leave after it was done. see i am still in pain so i think i am going to bother my doctor again to see if she can push for the results and now i am done talking about this because i am not going to make my blawg journal of all my problems. well it is sometimes but i dislike medical stuff and i do not want to talk about it. oh except for when i sneeze i can not hold it in like i normally do because well it fucking hurts but i realized that i actually enjoy releasing the sneeze. it feels good. especially when i do not cover my mouth.

-bitch and i went to see transformers. i liked it simply for the nostalgic purpose. when i was hearing things like bumblebee and starscream and bonecrusher i was wanting to freak out and when the main character broke out the line MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE only half the theater was like OHHHH because hello line from the old school theme song but i realized i was sitting with a bunch of people who had not even seen the original which is a shame. anywayanyway i wish they totally had soundwave because he was my favorite only because i remember the toy and he had his little tape figures that totally transformed and i am feeling nerdy now but ya.

but before we had cake at elizabeth and N's because they fucking rock and the cake was so good.

-on the weekend i also had lauren come visit and she is like me but not me and i got her hooked on ds and we sat outside smoking and drinking and not talking to eachother but ds chatting and now she wants one. sucker.

birthday stones eyeing the gays

-happy birthday BITCH!!@#!@!#@$# i bought him a nintendo DS because i am the best and also now we can talk via ds pictochat instead of actually talking which is fun. i gave it to him last night so we could pictochat and we did but then i ended up giving it to him...

-(note i wrote this two days ago I just have not posted it yet...)
on saturday when i woke up i had this weird pain in my side and it sucked but was not that bad and i just assumed i slept with my elbow jabbing into me because if you saw me sleep you would know i sleep like a retard contortionist and then anyway it has been there sorta since then however this morning when i got to work i pressed on that area and was like I NEED TO SEE A DOCTOR because it hurt more today for some reason and i know i did not sleep on it weird because i burnt my stomach yesterday at the beach so i know i slept on my back the whole night so ya i went to doctor lady and it was sort of a funny experience. she did her pressing and asking DOES THIS HURT etc and asked if it hurt when i ate greasy food and i laughed and said NO ONLY PLEASURE and then she took my blood pressure and said it was high and asked if i was anxious and i said yes i dislike doctors and she said OH WHITE COAT SYNDROM um okay and then i also said well i got into a bit of a disagreement with my partner and she said THEY NORMALLY CAUSE HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE. anyway still do not know what my problem is because she did not either and she made me pee in a cup and i said well I DONT NEED TO GO and she said WELL TRY TO SQUEEZE SOME DRIPS OUT and i laughed and so i went and i squeezed and i swear i filled the cup and kept going and going and it must have been one of the longest pisses i have ever took. funny what you can do under pressure. anyway so now i have to go for blood tests and CT scans of my stomach. she said one of the most dreaded words... kidney stone. um ladies that is like giving birth through your nostril but instead of your nostril it is my penis. i am hoping it isnt.
update: i just had my CT scan scheduled for tuesday. well see what happens.after a couple days of thought i am hoping and thinking it is not a kidney stone i am too young to be having that shit but whatever and plus there was no blood in my sample and she said that is not common except 10% of people who do have kidney stones and plus i think i would be feeling it more than what i do now like PAIN but it is still just the soreness on my side.

-i got to watch big brother on sunday night and i am so calling the fags on hooking up by the end of the summer. they were oogling each other as they were trying to still be bitter ex boyfriend type fags. i know that look.

brotherly leering for the beach

-i found out i missed big brother last night. now i sorta lost interest in following it and then i stop and remember the GONORRHEA and i chuckle and i am tempted to check the tvguide channel thing on channel 2 and then have you noticed they change the format of that channel depending on the hour of the day like during primetime they let it take the whole screen that way it does not take almost 10 minutes to do a full cycle but then they change it back to the stupid format so they can continue showing really bad adds for hair loss and accident lawyers and oh back to big brother i wanted to watch the episode on the internet and when i did it started off with all these commercials and then after maybe about 5 of them and they were so boring it was like YOU CAN NOT WATCH THIS FROM YOUR AREA ONLY IN THE UNITED STATES. oh so i am not good enough to watch big brother because i am in canada but i am good enough to watch your fucking commercials. i was angry but got over it.

-speaking of tolerance (shrug) i have lately seeming to be noticing alot of OLD CREEPY MEN say standing at a bus stop then they do this thing where some young pretty girl walks by and they do the whole LEEEEERRRR at like total 180 with the head as they are walking by and it is so noticeable and super fucking gross and i want to get a tazer gun and zap them randomly when i see them do it i mean it is okay to check people out but when you are raping them with your eyes and you are like their father its fucking sick and bothers me and nono do not get me wrong i will do that too but i do it to men and i look good and am not 60 so it is a tote different story.

-i bought toilet paper a 24 roll and it was 2ply and it was ONLY 3.98 and i can not believe how excited i was and so i came home and made it my status on facebook and i can not believe the response i got and alot of peope questioned the validity of my story or by degrading it by saying WELL WAS IT ONLY 1 PLY umm no it was 2 ply muthafucka and i know they are just jealous so i am cool with it. i was alone and it was a limit of 1 per customer and i was so tempted to make friends with someone in supervalu to be like ILL BLOW YOU IF YOU BUY THIS FOR ME SO I CAN HAVE 48 ROLLS OF TP but i figured it would be hard to carry home so i veto'd the idea.

-question: if you dislike your toenail like totally dislike because it is all fucking mutated from jabbing it into coffee tables, door ways, new phone books lying on the floor etc etc etc ... can you ask a doctor to remove your nail? because i am getting really tired of the pinky toe nail that i have on my right foot because it looks more like a talon and well its fucking gross i would post a picture but i am pretty sure that most of yall would puke right there on your keyboard so i wont. but ya. it sucks and i slammed it into a phone book tonight and its is totally throbbing all hard like. stupid toenail.

-i complained about the weather well not complain because it is nice its just that on the weekends it is so much cooler than what it is during the week so the boss lady said i can take this afternoon off which is exciting so i am going to the beach. i will tan or burn more than likely because they are calling for some major hot weather which is perfect. i am excited. i think i have been to the beach maybe like 3 times this year so far which is pathetic.

running with the homo words

-on tuesday night elizabeth wanted to come hang out and be apart of bitches and mine nightly routine of tv and drinks and stuff and she experienced something really shitty which i am not going to go all into detail because i get all riled up and pissed off at society and my neighborhood but you can read about it here. anyway when she called me to tell me what had happened as i was waiting for her at the bus stop i instantly ran up commercial drive and i was in sandals and my calves started to hurt and then i took them off and ran bare foot all the way down and i am fucking out of shape. really out of shape. but i know now with the right motivation i can enter any cross country race no probs. what angers me about the whole thing is that commercial drive is not known for crime and random attacks on people at least not that i have ever heard of or known of since i have lived there within the last 3-4 years. and the fact that nobody stopped to help her gets my hair all on end and i need to stop talking about it. elizabeth i am glad you are okay and next time i will come to your apartment and escort you and if anyone looks at you the wrong way i will gut them like a sockeye salmon crazy style.

-last night we were sitting and drinking beer and watching tv and tanya was cooking us dinner because she is our bitch and we were watching big brother and i got really angry because i heard one of the ladies say "id be heartbroken if one of my children told me they chose the gay lifestyle" and i wanted to stab myself in the face and then reach through the screen and stick my penis in her face because that shit is just fucking crazy and ya. i had to walk away. other than that i think i am hooked because there are these two catty fags and that was the twist that there were going to be three people added to the house that are enemies or problem people from 3 of the other peoples lives and when the people were trying to speculate what enemy of theirs might be there the one gay guy who i am thinking was the bottom of the two was all like OMG IT SO IS GOING TO BE DUSTIN and then rants about how he got gonorrhea from him and everyone was like GASP and all awkward. i am looking forward to more of those moments. i hope the homophobic douche face catches the fags sucking eachother off because fags do that even if they hate their ex's because they will still take any opprotunity to blow their load.

-whistler was amazing. we did nothing and that was great. we just all sat around and drank all day and hung out at the condo. i have a bunch of pictures but i will post those all later. but we did play scrabble and they said i could not use BORAT as a word but then they allowed FIFI. i was angry and i wanted to flip the board over but it would have been useless because the letters snap into place so i just opened another beer and used my other two letters and spelled HUG. yay 5 points.

programmable flight painting

-so people meet the thing that has had the biggest amount of intimidation on me since october last year when i was asked by friends to paint them something i said sure and what they had in mind was something 6 feet by 3 feet and i was like OH MY GAWD since i have never painted anything that big so i started and it has taken me forever because i am overly anal over the little flaws and finally i just said i cant be so anal and just finished it off and that is what it is. it only took me 8 months mind you probably 6 of those were just me stressing over how am i going to ever finish this thing. i get to give possession on tuesday. phew.

-yesterday was an awesome day not because i finally got paid which seemed forever and day because you know when you become broke and then its like everyday that goes by is like OH FUCK and then you get paid and you are like finally but then you pay the bills/rent/bus pass/etc and you are sorta like back where you started but anywayanyway i found out i won two roundtrip tickets to anywhere westjet flies in the continental US. so YELLO. i am excited because i am thinking florida sounds nice. actually it sounds very nice. for free. yes that sounds nice.

-in other news i am leaving for whistler tomorrow. that is exciting. i am bringing scrabble. i like scrabble and drinking. i like those two alot.

-yesterday i programmed the word 'facebook' into my cell phone so when i text i dont always have to spell it out. the saga continues...

mucus weather cabin

-okayokayokay i am starting to get really pissed with the weather here and i know i shouldnt because hello i live in bc but it is still pissing me off and i know people are like well be thankful that that is all that is pissing you off and yes thank you you pretentious pricks i am thankful however i am still pissed that this weather is so fucking shitty where i wake up and i need blankets all crazy like and then the next morning i have to throw the covers off cause its too warm already and i am sure that is doing wonders on my immune system where in my office our accountman decides he likes to blow his fucking nose in the kitchen sink with his hands and its loud and fucking gross if you ask me but i dont even have the balls to go talk to accountman and the etiquette of blowing your nose when you are sick so i just dont really use the sink at all. so ya the weather is pissing me off...

-i was riding home on the bus the other day and that is not news i know but when we were on hastings the traffic was ass slow and it was okay i was reading my book called i know this much is true by wally lamb and its totally an oprah book club book but i got it cause it is about some mental twin brother and in the first page i saw the word sacrifice and it caught my attention and plus it was on sale but when i took it to mexico to read bitch hid it on me because on the first day i was reading it and it talks about his mom dying of cancer and i cried because i am a bit of a pussy like that and bitch was like STOP READING THAT YOURE ON VACATION and hid it but anywayanyway on the bus i was just like whatev and the bus driver man yells DONT ANYBODY LOOK TO THE LEFT so basically saying everybody look to your left and we all did and there was a dead body on the sidewalk with a tarp over it and then everybody was like SHRUG and sat back down and looked straight again and i laughed at how nobody really was surprised that they just saw a dead body under a tarp on hastings street and continued to read. it made me sorta like HUH thats fucked but anyway.

-i am going to whistler this weekend and i am looking forward to it because back to paragraph 1 the weather is pissing me off and i am not doing anything much on the weekends and this will be a nice get away with about 10 friends and i am going to pretend its big brother and its a cabin full of homos plus one girl and she is the responsible decision maker and my only goal is to not drown in the hot tub. seriously. people have to bring board games and food and all this other crap and my assigned objective was to not fall alseep in the hot tub and drown. i love it. i am also excited because that means i can take more pictures to put on facebook and tag people. i have to mention facebook everytime. i will too. seriously. i check facebook before my email. fucking pathetic.

drinking facebook up

-on friday i went out with lauren and shaun and they are people from high school from like 10 years ago that i have not seen and thanks to facebook we decided to meet up and go have drinks and it was fun and so weird but really fun seeing them and totally hit it off so much that i felt so comfortable to drink like it was a race and then fell asleep. but when i was awake we had fun. then i felt bad the next day so i treated them to breakfast and i realized my sunglasses were missing from the night before and i was like NOOOOO and i asked lauren if she had them and she said no so i said can we check the pub and they werent there and i was really fucking sad because i had bought those sunglasses in mexico and they are totally fake burberry but i loved them and then i checked the middle console of her car and they were there and i was like THIEF!!!!!!!!!! and she laughed.









when i woke up the next morning and saw this i was like whos and whats is that?!?!


update: i figured i should post this picture because it is obviously the moment when lauren was all like i will take his sunglasses and he wont even know it and urged me on to KEEP DRINKING... there is ALWAYS a method to the madness...



-work sucks this week. that is all i have to say about that.

random saying drawers

-so i was thinking about when i broke up with my last girlfriend that i had back in like the day i think i was about 21 and anyway when we were about to break up she called me and was like WE NEED TO TALK and the way the conversation was going it was very aloof like and not pin point on what the problem was and i really did not see it coming but she was saying things like I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO and ITS NOT FAIR TO BOTH OF US and anywayanyway i started thinking OMG SHE IS TELLING ME SHE IS PREGNANT and so i started saying things like WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO ... WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO and she then said she was coming over to my place to talk in person and i was thinking HOW AM I GOING TO TELL MY PARENTS because when my dad was young he had a girl like 17 young and he always said do not follow in my foot steps so i was all freaking out and when she came over we started talking and i was so concerned and then she said something like so i think we need to stop dating and i was like WHAT ABOUT THE... ARE YOU PREGNANT? and she looked at me and was like NOOOO and i said oh what is this all about then and she said that she thought we should stop going out and that was all and i laughed and i was like PHEW THATS IT?!?! and like laughed more with relief and ya. it was a funny awkward but anywayanyway i thought about all this today and i thought WHAT IF she was pregnant and that would mean i would have a little 6 year old running around. sorta cute when i think about it but i know if she did have my baby i would have been thrust back into the closet a little harder and then live this life of straight couple suburban bullshit and then after 40 years of marriage get busted with a male prostitute and shamed. the end.

-bitch and i were talking and bitch has some classic lines that he says and you shake your head or you laugh and we were talking about vaginas or something and i mentioned something like ALOT OF GUYS DONT EVEN KNOW WHERE THE CLIT IS and bitches response was I KNOW ITS LIKE WHAT DRAWER IS IT IN?? hahah. i laughed. i laughed so hard i had to write it down and i found the paper this morning that is why i bring this up. when we were with n and elizabeth we were talking about tanya and how she was in accounting and then bitch piped up YA SHE IS LIKE SMART SHE KNOWS ALLL THE NUMBERS. we all laughed then too. i should create a book.

-tonight i am going into surrey to go drinking with people from highschool (THANKS FACEBOOK) and it will be fun i know it and i already warned my parents that i am coming into surrey to go drinking with people from highschool and that i am bring a set of house keys so dont be surprised if i pop up at like 3am all trashed and my mom said "that is good thanks for telling me i will be sure to leave the top lock on". bitch. she wont though. she knows better.

undecided photo weather water

-todays weather is really gay in terms like it is raining and then stops and then is sunny and then stops and then rains some more and then stops and then is sunny and then stops and then is really windy and chip bags fall off the people upstairs patio and lands below ours and i know they are gonna think it is from us and then it rains again and then stops and then the sun comes out again to have it only rain again.

-so friday night turned out to be quite fucking fun and i can not wait for 1/2 alive to post the pictrues cause after the beers and red bull (not together) i was hunting down camera lady and being all like THAT IS RIGHT and dancing and dancing and this one chick was funny and she said nice foot work all like RIGHT ON MAN and i was in line to pee and i was like thanks are you in line and she walked away. hahahah. i laughed. then went outside to pee instead.

-we did a massive photo clean up off the computer and its amazing how much better it works out and we found these pictures on bitch's camera that we had forgot to download from last weekend or something i dunno they are all starting to look the same

tanya was trying to quit smoking and this was like day three and she was a fucking bitch.

this is frank. or we call him boots because he has white paws and i know the obvious name would be socks but we liked boots better.
edit: on second look that is actually not boots but some other fucking stray cat that we befriended along the way. we will be the crazy cat people once we are allowed cats in our apartment.

i dislike physical activity

-we just rearranged our ghetto bedroom and now i am excited about going to bed tonight. maybe i will get a good sleep because last night i got a real shitty sleep and i kept waking up and getting a glass of water because i was thristy all crazy like and then i drank so much water i think within a 3 hour time frame i felt all sloshy on my insides and it was so uncomfortable and i started to remember something i heard about water poisoning and stayed awake for almost 45 minutes thinking about it and then i fell asleep. the end.

homeless paitence loss

-this morning i almost freaked the fuck out on some homeless guy in bitch's starbucks store i was standing in the line and there was this crack head just wandering around and then i hear this lady go hey and i look down and dude is stuffing unground beans in his jacket and i bent low and was like HEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYY right in his fucking ear and i made more commotion than what he did but that is okay and he stood up to run and i grabbed at his jacket and then i realized what the hell am i going to do and so i let go and let the crackhead take his 3 bags of unground coffee. i aint going to punch some homeless fag who may be carrying gawd knows what but still i was irritated all to hell. bitch got me a coffee so i was cool after but i walked the rest of the way to work looking for the freak mainly to ask what the hell HE was going to do with 3 bags of UNGROUND coffee beans. eat it?

-bitch and i are supposed to go to some event but we fell asleep because tanya came over with some buddy and she was trashed like super trashed and then at one point i was like WE ALL NEED NAP TIME because she was loud and then i fell asleep and woke up to elizabeth calling me and now we are trying to decide whether we should go. tanya left so we dont know. probably since we just cracked a red bull and gin and because i have the most gin in the world right now.

-i called some cab company because we are going and they are playing old english fucking orchestra music and it is not going with my raverap.

-oh and ps. i found something that talks about benson and the last person on earth thing to prove im not a fucking crazy ass about the last man on earth....

burnt pizza sky

-have you ever been so crazy convinced that armageddon was upon us... i do all the time especially when the sky looks like this and it reminds me of the episode of benson where the world ends but benson and gretchen were in the basement of the mansion so they didnt die and they are the only two people left but through the window of the basement the outside was the same color as the sky in that picture and then benson and gretchen learned to get along it was a cute episode but obviously a dream sequence. i wonder how many people actually know what i am talking about.

-i have today off because i can and it is nice and i get to remind myself what daytime tv is and how bad it licks balls.

-so the result of the beach was burn. surprise. but just on my front because i was a fucking retard and didnt put sunscreen there oh but i put it on my shoulders so on monday it sorta looked like i had shoulder pads on or something gay. itll fade in like 3 days anyway.

-bitch and i have found this pizza place right by our apartment and it has 18 inch jumbo pizzas for cheap and it is actually very good pizza and everytime i order i order a pepperoni and ask for the pepperoni cooked on top of the cheese and everytime they go BUT IT WILL BURN and i am like YO I LIKE IT CRISPY and then they say BUT IT... and then i am like ITS COOL I LIKE IT LIKE THAT and they think i am weird surely i am not the only person out there that likes their meat crispy. fucking lunatics. anyway. i think we are going onto almost like 3 days straight of the same stuff and we eat almost all of it in one sitting and then we lay on the couch like fucking whales cause you know this is the best way to a summer body. we may even have it again tonight.

bienvenidos beach smoke

-today is the first fucking weekend where the sunshine has actually decided to stay for the weekend rather than just be present during the week while i swelter in my office slaving over the computer non-stop with my eyes feeling like they are about to burst and die but then i get to go home and get a slight touch of sun as i sit on my patio drinking a beer but i have been jonesing a full day of sun and sand since i have been back from that place i wont mention again but ya so today actually looks like it will be the winning day. i am looking forward to it.

-i finally got to meet up with elizabeth and she is dawl. and mitzie too. i have yet to meet n but something about him dying. welcome to vancouver. bitch even gave her our mark out for free coffee so if that isnt love i do not know what it is. i have yet to get them out and get them trashed all cambie style! hah.

-tanya has quit smoking. we hung out with her last night and it is day three and chickypoo is a fucking freaky bitch without nicotine. the slightest thing was setting her off and at one point i got up and without thinking said I AM GOING FOR A SSMMMMSMSSSSNNNAPPLE!@#! and she glared at me and called me an asshole i touched her boob or something i dont remember. but she said the best thing when i made grilled cheese sandwiches she goes FOOD TASTES DIFFERENT and then bitch says THATS BECAUSE YOU QUIT SMOKING and tanya replies NO NO I LIKE CIGARETTE FOOD. i laughed at her. that was classic.

desisting spanish 1/2 alive

-bitch says everybody is tired of hearing about fucking mexico so piss on you.

-last friday i was all i am not going out i can not go out and i will not go out then tanya and amanda came out even amanda and she has been the super lets not come out anymore but on friday she did so that was nice and they started to get ready here for some event they were heading to near our place and they brought beer and so of course i annexed some and then i wanted to go out and it was a fucking blast actually AND i did not get kicked out.and yes you will notice the glasses are now a staple to friday pre-going out drink photos












(posing once again. seriously)

-um if you have seen bitchs facebook then you seen those already and speaking of fucking facebook i cancelled my myspace account. facebook is the new myspace by 20billion hits people. work it out. world domination is coming are you on the right side...?

pictoral interlude - briefly mexican

-the funny thing about mexico is that i know a tiny bit (pequito) of spanish and so when i thought i was all fucking cool and using my spanish and then they would rattle off the answer or retort in spanish i would always be UMM ENGLISH POR FAVOR. i am such a loser.


bitch doing some mayan research a la choose your own adventure. i did some of my own research with the same book but i decided to climb the temple and i got transported to another world. the end.





the fucking snack bar of death and the only reason i call it that was because bitch and i were always there eating hot dogs and it was disgusting but i also liked that we could free pour our own drinks well you werent supposed to but they never really noticed you so i was like fuck this ill do it myself and then i got drunk.