desisting spanish 1/2 alive

-bitch says everybody is tired of hearing about fucking mexico so piss on you.

-last friday i was all i am not going out i can not go out and i will not go out then tanya and amanda came out even amanda and she has been the super lets not come out anymore but on friday she did so that was nice and they started to get ready here for some event they were heading to near our place and they brought beer and so of course i annexed some and then i wanted to go out and it was a fucking blast actually AND i did not get kicked out.and yes you will notice the glasses are now a staple to friday pre-going out drink photos












(posing once again. seriously)

-um if you have seen bitchs facebook then you seen those already and speaking of fucking facebook i cancelled my myspace account. facebook is the new myspace by 20billion hits people. work it out. world domination is coming are you on the right side...?

pictoral interlude - briefly mexican

-the funny thing about mexico is that i know a tiny bit (pequito) of spanish and so when i thought i was all fucking cool and using my spanish and then they would rattle off the answer or retort in spanish i would always be UMM ENGLISH POR FAVOR. i am such a loser.


bitch doing some mayan research a la choose your own adventure. i did some of my own research with the same book but i decided to climb the temple and i got transported to another world. the end.





the fucking snack bar of death and the only reason i call it that was because bitch and i were always there eating hot dogs and it was disgusting but i also liked that we could free pour our own drinks well you werent supposed to but they never really noticed you so i was like fuck this ill do it myself and then i got drunk.

jumping past the face

-so i officially hate facebook well not hate and i feel bad for saying hate to something that has occupied my time non stop ever since i joined the stupid site even in mexico i was like to the business centre its time to check facebook but in the same breath that is why i fucking hate facebook. sorry facebook i did not mean it...

-on saturday night it was the jh 10 year reunion for 97 but i graduated in 98 but i am good friends with some of the 97 alum and went and had so much ridiculous drunken lets-reconnect type fun. i saw people who i have not seen in like 9-10 years and then there were their other halves that i met and they loved me and then the guys would stand back and be like how does jared do it and i would just yell IM HARMLESS and they would be like yaya i know i know and i thought that was funny. i ended up getting booted out of the place because this one guy who was trashed was talking with me and stumbled and grabbed my shoulder which made me fall back and then the bouncer men thought i was all drunk and stumbly. i did not care so much but the fact that i had just bought a 9.50 double gin and tonic choked me.








(NO i am not sleeping i was actually just posing as per sharis request...)

-um last night tanya was over and we had like a scary movie night and we watched touristas and pulse and well lets just say i fell alseep in pulse but i kept getting awoken by tanya freaking out and punching herself in the face and shit and i just was like what the fuck is she doing but touristas... um when we rented it i was like OH I AM GLAD WE DIDNT WATCH THIS BEFORE MEXICO thinking ya it would be so scary and make me paranoid of going somewhere tropical but um ya not so much because the movie is fucking lame because the things the people do in the movie are retarded. oh the bus crashed and fell off the hill lets go find a bar at the beach (okokok i know i WOULD do that) and oh lets just stay here screw the other bus coming to pick us up. oh and lets follow this one guy he wants to take us to a house in the jungle to be safe even though we just got robbed of everything. like hello i would be heading straight to the consulate but then again i wouldnt be in that situation. i found it hard to watch because the choices being made were fucking gay and unrealistic. hah thats my review.

mexican wet tshirt concerts

-can i even to begin to explain how much fun bitch and i had in mexico? no. can i even begin to tell you how much watered down dos equis i drank? no. can i even begin to tell you how many times bicth and i closed down the club with the help of our new found russian misstresseseses luba and paulina? no. mexico was effing amazing and more than what i can even explain. i could go on and on and on but the thought of typing everything out just plain out exhausts my fingers and plus i know it would take more than 20 minutes and hereos is almost on so i know for sure i will not be typing that much. i will show a few pictures tho....

as we were greeted by god of porn oh i mean corn

the first morning i had no smokes... it was not pretty


we ate at the snack bar all the time... i mean like all the time and poured our own beer because the staff was a little on the fucking lazy side but that is okay i know how to poor beer with no head and they did not and i showed them good.

i thought this was a towel penis but bitch was like no no its an erect penis then we realized it was actually an elephant. or one of those guys who has a penis that totally veers to one side... still not sure.




to be continued...

hasta looo-ay-go

-so bitch and i are off today. i am not even fully packed but that is alright.
i know all my key spanish phrases from spanish in high school.... lets see



~puedo ir al bano por favor... (oh wait that was just so we could get out of class....)

umm

~beuons dias/noches
~por favor
~gracias
~cerveza
~dos cerveza y una cerveza para bitch
~hasta manana/luego/la vista
and the most important...
~BUEN CULO

i am set.

now i am just praying tanya does not burn our place down. when she left last night after giving her the keys she left and left the keys behind. that made me nervous....

ps.when looking for images of mexico to post to be like SUCKERS i found the picture of the mother of my future child based soley on her visual parenting skills...

reconnecting the mayan face

-so i have held off on joining facebook because everybody was like ONCE YOU JOIN YOU WILL HAVE YOUR WHOLE HIGHSCHOOL PLUS TALKING TO YOU and in all honesty that made me all weary of well everything because i only really speak to two people from school because after i graduated i thought most of everybody were actual assholes but then i finally gave in and joined and within like 1 day i had reconnected with almost everybody i was friends with except the odd few who are still in new west smoking crack which i have no interest in meeting but anywayanyway the stupid facebook has essentially engrossed my life within the last 4 or 5 days and i love it. mind you the whole thing has ruined any surprise about any reunion because now i know who is fat, married, have children, gay or not gay when i thought they were gay etc etc etc. thanks facebook.


-so see that jacket well it was bitches and he got it back from someone and then on friday night i tried it on and i was like fuck i look good and i want this so anyway we went to a club by our place and i got tired like usual and i fell asleep and guess who got picked up and kicked out and i am fine with that because obviously i fell asleep for a reason (drunk) but anyway bitch forgot to get the jacket and it is gone and i am sad because i liked it. speaking of like...

i like this photo of bitch and i. no those are not my glasses. they are tanya's or someones i dont know i just tried them on and i like how they made my vision like i was drunk when i was not.

-so we are one day away from mexico. i am excited. that is all. i hate packing. i always over pack. i guess thats the fag in me but also i like to make sure i am prepared just in case a freak global warming winter snow storm hits but i am tossing caution to the wind and bringing only shorts and i pair of jeans since the average temp. is like 3000 degrees hot.