homo house halloween

-i love illiteration though i am not sure how to spell it. happy halloween

-i am not dressed up. the whole static cling failure totally deflated any balloon i had for halloween this year but it is just because i am lazy and do not care. i like how most receptionists dressed up like witches. creative bitches at their best.

-update on the homo-hating pamphlet... never got one. after all that i am sorta saddened.

-i am housesitting for friend skwirl because she currently is roasting down in mexico while we are dealing with fucking cold weather but that is not my point the point is that i am house sitting and this is like the third time in a month i have done this for friends i am like the trustworthy friend that you can trust to watch your place and i think i will go pro on this and actually put together a business proposal to friends going away and all i charge is 500grams of genoa salami and a 12 pack of beer. i like beer and salami. i can fend for myself if i need to eat anything else like the cat food for the cats but i must have beer and salami. friend skwirl left me that and beer and also a pack of bacon and i ate the whole pack in one sitting very reminiscent when i was on 'operation gain weight' sorta like nicole ritchie but it was not because i was doing drugs every night and walking around going WHY CANT I GAIN WEIGHT it was because i was stressed about moving and relationships and i did not eat for like ever and when friends were like ARE YOU SICK i realized i was not eating so i went on OPERATION GAIN WEIGHT and i would eat packs of bacon by itself. i am bacon. i am a coronary attack. i am surprised i am not dead. but bacon is soo fucking good. i really do not know where i was going with this because now i can not stop thinking about bacon. so i will add that to my transaction fee list for house sitting: 1)500grams of genoa 2)beer 3)bacon. ... its like breakfast lunch and dinner all rolled into one.

ps-i have some great photos from the last week or so and i just have been lazy but i like this one of bitch and i

anti homo

-so i usually refrain from talking or typing or whatever about current events because i am not all about getting into long heated discussion about views and beliefs and opinions because i am not all about heated discussions... however while sipping my coffee this morning i heard about this story on the news and ya:
http://www.cbc.ca/canada/british-columbia/story/2006/10/26/bc-postal.html#skip300x250

Anti-homosexuality brochure held up at Canada
Post

Canada Post says a controversial religious brochure that condemns
homosexuality will be delivered to hundreds of homes in East Vancouver,
despite
the objections of letter carriers.

The 28-page pamphlet is published by a fundamentalist Baptist group
based
in Ontario, and condemns homosexuality as ungodly, unhealthy and
unnatural. Vancouver mail sorter Andy Henderson was the first person
at his
postal station to notice the pamphlet, and was shocked by what he
read.
"The first words I saw when I picked it up were: 'The plague of
this
21st Century:
the consequences of the sin of homosexuality (AIDS).'
"
He
and the other postal employees say they consider it hate mail
and have
refused to handle it.

"You wouldn't be able to find one television station that would accept
this ad mail as a 30-second advertising spot," said Henderson. "And yet
Canada
Post will take it. And their point is, 'If it's legal, we'll
deliver
it.' "

Canada Post management told the workers on Wednesday that it's not in the
business of censorship, and said the letters would be delivered.
That
stance
prompted about 60 postal workers at the Canada Post plant in downtown
Vancouver
to hold a short protest Thursday morning.

"So the employees walked out of this facility because most people are deeply
offended by the nature of the literature," said union local president Ken
Mooney.
He told CBC News that the workers have since returned to their
jobs,
waiting to see what management is going to do next.

"I'm now told they're not going to force us to handle this mail. So they've
backed off a little bit. So we're just waiting to see how this plays
out."
Brochures 'deemed appropriate' Canada Post spokeswoman Colleen
Frick
says the company has a contract to deliver the brochure and it will do
just
that.
She notes that it was "deemed acceptable and appropriate for
mailing
under the Canada postal guide.
"The criteria is very specific.
And if
something is not deemed obscene in nature, then the item will be
acceptable for
mailing. And this particular item was deemed appropriate. So
it will be
delivered."

The union says management has now indicated that the brochures will be
put in envelopes and delivered by management personnel

so it for some reason is specifically being delivered to east vancouver and i am in east vancouver and if i receive this flyer in the mail i will find the management of canada post and where they live and fuck bitch on their door step. this shit seriously irritates me. how is crap that is obviously hate mail towards homos is deemed acceptable for mailing. if i wrote something similar towards blacks or asians or jewish or whatever it would more than likely be deem unacceptable. what is the fucking difference. it is a piece of writing slanderous against a group in society. because it is pointed at homos its okay which says to me who ever okayed it on canada posts side needs a good ol' cock in his ass to re-align what is acceptable and what is not. i do not want to get into this really because i know how i feel about this shit and it will get into an issue of what is defined as what and where is the line etc and these discussions force me to drink. but do tell me what you think and if anybody is down for some good ol' fashioned firebombing do let me know.

costumely undesired cream

-so i thought i had relatively smart friends or at least my costume was sorta creative and obivous but on friday night i went to a costume party and i am broke and no costume so i improvised and i wore black and then safety pinned socks and underwear and shiznat to me and i entitled myself static cling but do you know what i was mistaken for the most....... LINT. um okay so i can sorta see how someone sees a bunch of laundry and associates it with lint but when was the last time you saw lint that had underwear and socks attached to IT. um not ever i am assuming. eventually i just took it off because i was tired of continuosly explaining my ghetto/obviously-not-obvious costume. i thought i was smart. well not really because i stole the idea from some girl in my grade 6 class but i am guilt free since she used to pick her nose which is fine by me everybody does but she would eat it after and i always thought she was a freak who liked to tap dance in one spot. she was crazy. but thanks for the costume idea bitch!!! i do have pictures but none of me because i was too busy getting my "LINT" drink on.

-last night bitch and i were watching tv and when i say there is like nothing to eat in our apartment i am pretty much serious unless you fancy eating dried lipton sidekicks because we do not have margarine or milk to make it with. anywayanyway we were watching tv and a dairy queen commercial came on and the commercial then seriously destroyed my brain and made me think of blizzards blizzards blizzards blizzards blizzards blizzards blizzards blizzards blizzards blizzards blizzards blizzards blizzards and so on until i could not fight it anymore and walked to dairy queen and bought a double fudge cookie dough blizzard which was amazing. i also bought a box of peanut buster bars and ate like 2 of those and i felt disgusting but happy disgusting.

rambling art words

-can i even begin to explain how much i love expoldingdog.com probably not but i do and i find it sorta inspirational in a way that you can do drawings/paintings of anything you want. i love it. it makes me want to go home and paint. friends rodney and kristen came over to our place one night and they saw some of my paintings and they are like wow you should sell them and i said thank you and i explained that i am trying to paint more but i am have creative block issues and kristen was like YOU MUST READ THIS BOOK and i did not know what she was talking about and then on my birthday she presented me with this book

its called 'the artists way' by julia cameron and it is all about how to re-awaken your creative side and i know it sounds total hoaky but it is actually quite good and if you have an ounce of creativity in you you can relate to what this lady talks about in the book and it is good and at times she talks about god but i just replace god with a mental picture of my cat and all is good. you should all read it. anywayanyway i am believing rodney and kristen have taken me on as their project to become world famous or something because they are super awesome and now have commissioned me to do this huge painting for their living room like i am talking 6 feet by 3 feet which may not sound big but it is for me who is usually painting like 6 inches by 3 inches. but anywayanyway i have started it and i have done the background and i am all nervous to do the 'body' of the painting and i told rodney this over text message and his reply was "just have fun doing it or i will beat you up" so they are encouraging my creative side through threats of physical violence and i think that is great. that is meaning they love me. when i become famous i will buy them something nice. to all of you out there start sucking up now if you want me to select you to be my jeremy piven of my entourage

pathetically loving loss

-so um ya last weekend like sucked. at the end of it i went to a friends house to pick up something and i lost my phone on the bike ride back so i had to beg bitch to let me put a new cell phone on his future shop card because i had no money and finally he said yes and now i have a nice new phone that now even takes pictures but i really do not care about that because i have a camera as is but i am guessing this will come in handy when i encounter this one guy i see on the bus and i so happen to always sit across from him and he has a huge bulge that almost looks fake and i want to show people but now i can photograph it randomly and he wont know... oh actually i am liking the sounds of secret camera phones.

-wednesdays are my most favoritest non-drinking days ever because well let me re-phrase that it is not that i am not drinking on wednesdays because hi but i mean like it is not a friday or a saturday which are by default drinking days but i got lost there so never mind but what i am trying to say is i like wednesdays for tv on wednesdays. i know pathetic. first off top model is on and like every other fag and chicky-poo out there i am a devoted fan because well i do not know why but i am. then after top model is lost and i love that show even more and i sit there yelling LIKE WHAT IS GOING ON... WHY... I DONT GET IT ::sip sip wine sip sip:: WHAAAATTTT!??!? ... again i am not sure why because sometimes it is super slow moving in terms of plot but it is neat the concept but i dont get why if people did crash on an island there is not more sex going on like HELLO you have been stranded on an island for 2 months or so and yet no scenes of masturbation, copulation or ejaculation (oh my!).... like who are the writers of this show... nerdy prudes who still do not know that they can pull down their foreskins that is who.

-ummm i just got a call from some guy name HUSANE (sp?) from my bank and they love me and they like super love my plastic money habits and by habits i mean lets pay minimum payment and then take it off again and i no longer have a crazy credit limit like i did when i was 21 (hello $10,000 is not good for a 21 year old to posess because hello $14,000 consolidation loan to follow) so it is not that bad but HUSANE is wanting to express their appreciation of my bad spending habits and show me more credit love and up my limit and i said no. good thing because then tonight would have turned into a drunken tv show fest where i do shots of random expensive liquors during every commerical break and then i would not be able to remember any of the shows and i would be sad tomorrow morning with no memory of my favorite shows plus a headache stinking like alcohol so no thank you HUSANE ... i will keep my plastic money as is.

vice on my head

-ever had one of those weeks where like after everything you just want to shoot yourself in the face but not really shoot just like pertend to end it all type shoot because people piss you off something fierce that was my week and i hated it and i want to relax and drink and love bitch. the end... whatever tho last saturday was hot because we went to some 'vice' party whatever that means and i just knew there was free beer and i was like TOTE LETS GO and so we did and it was aight but the best part was after the buddy who invited us totaaly gave us a free case of beer like 24 free beer people and i was like i will call you SANTA and loved him. great guy,
i danced a lot all drunk like... i was the dancefloor.

bitch was fierce too with lady in denim she was like the coolest thing cause she was super duper trashed like.

asian onion/pictoral interlude: 10:01

-i am not sure what is going on in vancouver but it is like asian fleet week or something there are tons of asain males walking around the city the last couple of days dressed in sailor gear and what is really weird they all look like eachother like tote asian sailor clones with maps in hand it is sorta creepy.

-speaking of asians every morning i goto this bagel place to get a bagel because i am a stupid creature of habit and i like my onion bagel with bacon bit cream cheese and there are these japanese ladies that own and run it and everymorning that i go down and they see me they like yell ONION BACON CHEESE and i always laugh and for some reason today it was louder then normal and it echoed in the hall and i even saw people look back like maybe i have tourettes but it was not me and i feel like norm from cheers when how he would walk in they said NORM but i am cool because i am ONION BACON CHEESE.
pointless really.

-bitchs camera broke a bit ago and he sent in and he just got it back and he was excited so on sunday we went out and he took pictures of stuff and me and i like most of the pictures here are some.



this one is my favorite... i love how i look like i just fell down the stairs...



i took this one... i do not want bitch to get all the credit for great photos especially for one i took even though it is not that good.





ps-if no one comments on how great some of the above pix are you are all fucking blind...