fungal completion with a side of sleep

-yesterday i was on the skytrain and as i was sitting there i saw some chickypoo get onto the skytrain and she looked normal. some dude then walked on two stops later and sat down and was listening to his ipod and was totally all air head banging to himself and chickypoo then pulls out her ipod, pops out dudes ear phones and sticks her ear phones into his ear. um fucking gross. excuse me yes i may stick things in my mouth that others may not true true but i will not stick a strangers ear phone in my ear. hello ear fungus. i do not know if there is such a thing but it sounds gross enough that i would not like that so i will never stick strangers ear phones in my ear. i would have kicked the bitch in the throat if she did that to me.

-it was one of my first weekends off sans gap and it was nice. i completed 2 paintings. you have seen them but now they are done. i will always photograph completed paintings on my kitchen floor because i love the checkerededness of it.



i have an excellent idea for a series of paintings which everyone says YOU SHOULD DO A SERIES which i will but i will not tell the idea just yet. but i am excited.

-the other night i got all tired while bitch and tanya and amanda were doing stuff so i did my normal, let sleep win its fight and fell asleep on the carpet. i apparently do not trust people because i sleep with my eyes open. they said they thought i looked like demon but they were all fucked up and must have been if a sleeping me was a source of their entertainment.

touching the mario paint

-so i have the ds and i am totally bored with my games that i have so i took in some old games to trade in and i ended up getting this game to kill time with

and its sad to say because well i can be sad like this i love this game. it is like lemmings and i did not link what lemmings is because if you do not know well then you just do not know what living is. anywayanyway it is like lemmings but obviously a bit more simplified because it is mario but regardless it is cute and fun. holyshit is it fun. it made me want to get a ds for bitch because i went to bed last night with the fucking ds in my hand and bitch and i played level for level but then bitch got tired of it when he died once and realized he is not super marvelous at games as he thinks he is. so i continued to play then bitch started to snore which pissed me off so i went out to the main room. i only stopped because i had gone through about 40% of the game already and it was day 1 so i did not want to ruin it just yet so i went to bed but this morning when it was time for the coffee to clear out the bowels in that magical way it does in the morning i had ds in hand manuevering little mini marios all around. oh and the game has pauline back in it and if you do not remember who pauline is she is the fucking bitch that mario started his whole i-will-risk-my-life-trying-to-rescue back in the day with the old school nes when mario just climbed ladders and jumped barrels. good for mario though because princess peach looks like a prudish cow where pauline is total class A whore all over her who totally takes it anal style. ... um oh yeah this is just a game. nevermind.

-amber 'i-lurk-but-want-your-painting', you may email me () and i will of course sell you a painting. i will even do a custom one. i am not sure where you got the idea that i do not like to sell because the whole point is to sell them. ya. but tote email me. okay?...okay.

irish skwirl drink

-happy st. pattys day. im have irish in me blood so i have to celebrate. im on my 2nd beer.

-last night bitch and i went to skwirls place to be all like hey new apartment and she bought the booze and we drannk and then bitch left early he was super tired and then i stayed and then i woke up on my couch. no idea how i got home but bitch was like you just appeared. that would be excellent if when i drank i suddenly had the power to just randomly teleport. oh my gawd. life would be drinking and transporting and transporting. i would ask to star on heroes. anyway i do not think i was an ass at the end of the night i just do not remember and i really do not struggle to remember anyway i had fun thanks skwirl







-today was my last day at thegap so no more. i spent 200 before handing over my discount card. mainly for the office. suckas. i am so glad to be done. me time will be more and paint time and friend time and drink time and game time and just more time. done.

caesar cracker kilts

-on saturday night i made pretty caesars (i always wonder if i spell that right but i never care enough to check) and drank them and got pretty much to the pass-out-drunk-on-the-floor-with-glass-in-hand level and so this morning i had to clean that pretty drink off my carpet which was very surprisingly easy with some of this arm and hammer laundry super powder or something and poof its gone it was great to discover this morning because i was not feeling life and the thought of kneeling and scrubbing all i can give into the carpet to remove the drink from the carpet that i happened to drop on was not so appealing. the drinks were good though.
um and do not mind the fact that that is how our coffee table always looks with shit all over it and wrappers and more wrappers and stuff. but the whole point was that my drink looked pretty.

-you know how the in elevators there are those screens some times and they rattle off random things like news headlines and stock gyberish and weather and crap all about the outside world while you are crammed into a tiny little elevator with people who are all dressed the same while i was in one of those elevators the other day and i saw some random fact that some cracker that oprah ate on television caused a 50% increase in that crackers sales the following day. i know that is not surprising but just another fact that oprah is essentially god and will rule us and give us free stuff once she owns the world because when you own the world you can give whatever you want to give because you own the world. viva la oprah.

-im watching deal or no deal and there is this guy who is a bodybuilder who makes bagpipes and just asked howie to touch his "20 inch arm"..... um. dood... first off you are a freak as is being so big so the need to wear a kilt should be minimal. i dunno something about this guys irritates me. he looks jewish. is he even scottish? and he totally sucked on the show... like ouch change the channel sucked!! i need to get out more.

reasons to love bitch

1)he is brilliant yet funny.
-so sometimes bitch and i act like total fags and become all melodramatic for no reason like if i come into the apartment after work and i do not kiss him hello right away he pretends our relationship is in a complete downward spiral to despair and anguish and so last night we got into bed and i noticed there was quite a gap between us and here was our conversation:

me: [sigh] you are so far away from me bitch... it is like we are drifting apart... i do not even know you anymore

bitch: ya we are drifting away from eachother like ... like two doves in the pond...

me: ........

bitch: .....

me: ... um what are the doves doing in the pond?

bitch: ... uh swimming?

me: ... do you mean swans?

bitch: ya whatever sorry.

me: ... hey no worries its not my fault youre an idiot and i am posting this tomorrow.

2)he has incredible fashion sense



how could you not love that....?

crowded cooks of worldy progression

ps-that is tanyas concotion of peppers and onions....???? she ate it not me.





its got very crowded in my poor little kitchen. i was ready to freak out at one point but then it was funny becasue tanya totally beat me to the punch.

-the painting is coming along...



-this has been the first time in like ever that i have been able to sleep in on both days of the weekend and it totally feels like a long weekend but it is not it is because i am not used to having two days off in a row since normally i work at crapland but this saturday i have off and so is the same for next saturday and then after that i do not work there anymore and that is exciting.
i know i have already talked about this but i like the fact that i will no longer be working there. i am tired of that place.

-see this person here:


that is kyla. i met her while working at the folk fest. she was my labeled first folkfest friend because i do lame things like that and label people but anywayanyway we bonded funny enough because she was a nosey bitch and asked what i was reading while eating my lunch and i said john irving and she suggested i read tom robbins if i like irving so i did and then i now like robbins too thanks to kyla. hah i just remembered when i went to her place and we got drunk on martinis that tasted like apples. i am pretty sure that happened... anyway i was walking with everybody on commercial yesterday to get groceries for dinner and i am walking and i see this face of recognition and it clicks who it is and i am like omg how are you (in all honesty i couldnt remember her name because alcohol effects the remembering cells in the brain i think...) but i clued in midway through the conversation and um ya HI she had a baby strapped to her. she has a lil boy 3 month old named max who has the biggest brownest eyes and is adorable. she lives near commercial too so that is exciting. we will go for coffee.