-all of vancouver is like a fucking ice rink and i do not like it so much because the one pair of shoes that i had that had the slightestestest bit of traction other than dressy work shoes, well bitch sorta donated them. so anyway if i am all walking outside it is only in canvas shoes that have no traction and i live on a slight hill so it is fun skating to the corner store. bitch fell on his ass last night when him me and friend skwirl went to wine store. skwirl is staying with us for a couple of days to get out of north vancouver and we had a bottle of wine while watching project runway and we were all excited for the second hour which was supposed to be the finale so we all bundled up and went wine store walking and when we came back the finale was not on in actuality or something so i tried to watch heroes which is a fucking awesome show it is like lost and xmen wrapped in one like a bacon wrapped scallop and it is good but skwirl talked alot so i had to lose interest in the show.so i made her sleep in the main room with no heat well not on purpose i am just not used to leaving the heat on during the night and she was not happy this morning when i woke her up and she was under a mound of like 7 million blankets but i said YOU KNOW WHERE THE HEAT THING IS and i forget what her reply was. she could not believe that bitch and i did not have a hair dyer and hello skwirl this is the first year i have had a DOO and so i helped her dry her hair with a flat iron which took forever but her hair looked amazing.
-i love how when it snows in vancouver the city is complete mayhem and ya. hi we are hosting the olympics and one snow fall and we are all shitting... hah. that is great stuff. apparently we should get more snow on thursday. i do not mind. i mind the hydro bill but i like staying in when it is nasty fucking cold out.
that is a picture of my truck when i lived in surrey and i was 'straight' but you could tell i was not that straight as i drove a ford ranger and i called it the t-ride and it had a bed in the back. but the back leaked even though i caulked every inch of it and the water would get on the mattress and mold would grow and the only people who would go in there were 20 east indian ladies i would give a ride to down river road to the albion ferry when i would go to work in maple ridge. but anyway that is about the same amount of snow surrey received on the weekend and i am glad i no longer live in surrey.
-on the weekend i decided to go on an 'artist's date' and that is where you dedicate like an hour plus of time to yourself and go out and do something that will inspire you creatively and i am not meaning masturbating as that takes like 5 minutes if your good at what you do and thinking up fantasies of mr.hot-suit-man on the 5th floor does not count as that is not creative it is lust and lust is bad like being gay so anywayanyway i went to my most favoritestest gallery called ayden gallery and i love it there and i am determined to get my artwork in there one day even it if means sneaking in there and randomly hanging it up with no one to notice. one day i will be famous. i totally recommend people who have an ounce of creative juices in them to go have an artist's date and go home and do whatever it is you do that is creative. i painted from 6pm to 10pm and i loved it. if i lived in the ayden gallery i would be famous by now. i am not wanting fame to be all rich and powerful but i mean hello that would be nice it is just that i am really self absorbed and i want people to recognize me now whether they like me or not that is a different story and i do not care. i think this all stems from elementary school and being all small and not ever being noticed. wow i feel like i should be lying on a couch paying some overpriced doctor to tell him why i want to be famous but now i do not need to because i just did it with the help of blogger thanx blogger.-has anyone seen the new commercials with the hot looking santa man and it is for fido phones or something but um hello who gave fido permission to re-paint the image of santa from fat old man who laughs and makes his belly move to a hot looking 20 something with a bad beard but you can tell underneath he is like sexy good looking if he dyed his hair back to a normal color not bimbo blond.. here is the webpage and you can see the adds and bitch is like he is soooo not good looking but i am thinking otherwise. maybe i am just a sucker for argyle i do not know. no point to this but i just want you to know i have now thought about santa in the most dirtiest way possible and i should not get any presents and by not getting any presents i mean have that actor who plays santa tied and gagged under my tree. naked... okay no that is mean. we will allow him to still have his sweater since i think that is the initial source of my attraction.some bad joke about santa's 'sack' just came to mind but i will spare you...
-so basically all of vancouver is being told not to drink the water because some storm the other day apparently has fucked up all the water reservoirs and shit and they say if you drink it you may suffer "gastrointestinal illnesses" which i think is meaning like shit for three days straight or something and then i am doing some thinking HEY THIS MAY NOT BE BAD because then i can get some deserved days off AND lose some weight but then i do other thinking thoughts about how i hate when i get gassy cramps from sicks stomachs and how you curl up in a little ball which does not do any helping of the situation and i remember being little and my mom yelling at me not to curl up and relax and i would yell you relax when it feels like there is a boulder moving in your intestines and she would say fine i was only trying to help and i would yell back it is not helping... a good fart would help but your words are not helping and then ya and i know now mother always knows best. so i guess i will not drink the water but it was tempting yo.
-not that i am trying to air dirty laundry or shit but last night bitch and i got into a bit of a fight and it resulted with me storming out and walking up commercial in the rain just wondering trying to clear my head of angry thoughts and stuff and then the weirdest thing happened which would only like happen on commercial but i was approached by these two people and they asked me if i had a moment and i was like :tear: yes and they asked me to cup my hands and hold them out and normally i would be like eff you but i was just so blah whatev that i obliged and then they told me to relax which was sorta funny given the situation and then they started to wave their hands and fingers around my cupped hands and i thought they were like seizuring or something but then i felt this weird pressure in my hands and heat and it reminded me of the rave days where we would do this to people who were fucked up on E and would believe anything you did to them because you at that moment were their bestestestestest friend but anyway they did this and they told me to concentrate on the heat and relax and i did and then they told me to press my hands together and to have the heat relax the rest of my body and i was like YALL CRAZY but i did not say that and it actually though did help and they said good night and gave me this slip to attend 'reiki' class so i guess that was what that was but it was weird timing and ya. boring i know but it screwed with my head like who were those people and how did they know i needed to relax because i was 100% tense and angry but after i was like only 50% tense and angry. thanks reiki.
-tonight will be my first friday night of wagon riding sobriety so i can go into crapland tomorrow non-reeking-of-alcohol. i think i will paint tons instead. that is one thing about riding the wagon is that my brain is doing tons of creative thinking and i like it and i want to paint. who would have thunk...
-ps. before fight night bitch and i savored a filet mignon at the keg. it was fucking good. except when they asked if wanted bottle water since they could not serve water from the tap and we said yes they brought us a $8.00 bottle of evian water which i did not know was $8 i thought it was free due to water being fucked up and i did not know until the bill came but i was way to complacent to complain. fuckers.-pps. oh ya.. i am a horrible brother... happy birthday christian. there my sibling duty on days of birth has now been completed.
-last weekend was a gong show. i will not link the shit because i am lazy but if you goto bitch's myspace there are like fucking gazillion lil videos of us trashed at our place and the last couple are of them dragging my passed out ass to bed. it was fun. but the next day i woke up and i was ill not like HEY HE IS ILL all cool like i mean like ILL as is still fucking feeling drunk and i had to work at crapland and so i showered thinking it would be a miracle shower to sober me up and ya no and then went into work anyway and as soon as i stepped in i was like NO I CAN NOT BE HERE i am sorta gonna get in shit for creeping into work all semi-left-over intoxicated but its okay i accept fault but it made me realize time for a breaky poo to give the liver a breather. it was drowning.
-did anyone see this shit last night. i think it is my newest favoritestest game show and the thing is i dispise william shatner, and i am not really into money game shows but this is the best because you have to pick a "dancer for your answer" and the fag they had on first blew my mind in that OH MY FUCKING GAWD WHERE DO THEY FIND THESE PEOPLE sorta way and not in the good way i mean why does america always put gay people on tv who are the epitome of flaming or just fucking overtly gay and no wonder half of america hates gays i mean i watch that shit and i hate gays and then i am like OH SHIT I AM GAY and i am thankful i missed the gay lisp genes when they were being passed out to homo babies. i want to see hot gay men like reichen or something in their underwear in game shows or in reality tv. then i will be like gay but i love it. whatever i guess i can say whatever i want and it does not matter because gaylisp man on the show last night walked away with $590,000 dollars. i loved when captain kirk would be like LADIES LETS DANCE and he would waddle around on stage doing what he thought was a dance. it was the best. oh and when he brought out the dancers he turned to gaylisp man and said NOT THAT YOU WILL CARE or something like that it was funny. the whole show was funny entertaining not in game show entertaining.
UPDATE: here is a clip from that totally shows some of the best parts between fag and captain kirk!. MURSE
-it is raining fucking big time. i want to row home.
-bitch is apart of a music group have i mentioned that yet it.. well he is and they are called FLU the first ENGRISH GROUP and it is funny like ENGRISH and FLU ... ASAIN PANDEMIC. i love it. but the funny thing is he created this group like way back when so he forsaw the flu craziness known as asian pandemic. i am having serious moments of de ja vu where i am questioning myself on whether i already typed this and then i almost hop out of this screen which i know would make me lose my typityed words because i am a retard but then i am like NO I DID NOT TYPE THIS ALREADY and i am feeling crazy. anyway click here to goto FLU's myspace page. I recommend listening to SHOPPING and the PLAYA song. that is bitch who is all gay sounding going HEY BARBARA ARE YOU A PLAYA.... FO SHOW!
-i have come to terms that this is what i will look by the time i am like 30 if i continue to drink and smoke and smoke they way i have within the last 2 years. i am cool with it because i think i have bitch so roped in in terms of loving and staying with me that looks would probably mean null come that time. there is a better picture of me with this mask on and if you photoshop it i am sure i can make it look like my face because my eyes are totally lined up perfectly. the eyebrows are almost bang on to what my dad's look like.-tonight is top model. last week i was angry. i made an awesome dinner and at the beginning of top model cracked a bottle of gorgeous wine and then WHAM it was a recap show. fuck off. have i talked about this already and how i fucking strongly dislike re-cap shows. look tyra i have unfortunately been watching your show from day one i do not need a re-cap or a better look at how much of a wackjob monique was. i was angry. so angry i drank my wine fast and totally missed lost because i fell asleep. i fall asleep alot.
-hmmm.. it has been a week and a bit and no i am not stating that it has been a week and abit since i last posted because then ya hi OBVIOUS what i am refering to is that is has been one HELL of a week and bit. bosslady is away right now and that term when the cat is away the mice will play well not in my world it is when the cat is away the cats assistant which happens to be a mouse will get all the wonderful last minute holiday stuff to try and arrange and politely explain why prices are so high because they are doing so last minute and ya. not fun.-anyway ya and i am feeling pathetic because i am actually excited that britney has filed for divorce. i called and told bitch and he said the same. i am not a fan but i thought she was extra hot during her phase of i am a virgin yet put videos like SLAVE FOR YOU where she is all sweaty and basically partaking in a neil patrick harris' dream of writhing between sweaty men but in his dream they are all broadway stars but sweaty nonetheless but ya ya... um i thought she was hot back then and i can see her trying to come back with that and power to you just hide the stretch marks sista-i have had only a bagel to eat today and it is 4.25pm. i have had 6 times that in coffee. i have 0 appetite and the energy of neil patrick harris around some sweaty broadway men. HAH. i am sorry i love the fact that neil is like HELLO I AM GAY. um neil, lance beat you to it and you were way more obvious then he was so fuck off. but in a strange way i would like to have sex with him and call him DOOGIE and make him wear one of those doctor heart hearing stethascopes. doogie is so a bottom. -if you we are drunk together and um you walk ahead of me i will call you out bitches...
