Thursday, January 31, 2008

smallish pictoral interlude - zebrateatree

-what is it about a new camera that makes you think that with a new camera you can take pictures and be all i am a camera man who takes artsy photos when it fact they are just pictures of tea cups and small little plastic pagodas by a braided tree plant. and of course hello sepia thank you for coming too.
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Wednesday, January 30, 2008

drink the rizza ash

-because i wanted to prove to myself that i can control things with myself and for health and because i am convinced my insides would make pinging not so good sounds if i did not take it easy a tiny bit on the drinking i have not been all mr hardcore like i used to because i used to be hardcore have i mentioned this see that is another reason because i can not remember anything but i have taken it easy and it is nice. i used to always buy a six pack or a bottle of wine after work and consume and then i would like to consume and then so i would keep consuming because that voice that is inside that should say OKAY THAT IS ENOUGH well it would never be there because it was drowning and i would swear it said MORE MORE and so i would drink more and then i would wake up and go to work with my head doing pounding sounds with every step i took. i have not had that feeling for a while and i do not miss it. tonight tanya was over to keep me company and watch tv and i made pasta dinner and i did bring home some beer for dinner and after 2 i am actually done. it is a nice feeling to say okay i am fine thank you for coming. do not get me wrong when friday is here i let loose because everyone needs a release but at least i wake up on saturday with a sorta-hazy-recollection of how i got home compared to WHEREAREMYCLOTHESKEYSMONEYSMOKES
OHMYGODINEEDMYSMOKES
WHEREARETHEYBITCHHOWDIDWEGETHOME
DIDWEFIGHTWHATHAPPENED!@#!@?!#? thoughts.

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and that way when i make cards for my friends birthdays laughing at the matter of me falling asleep everywhere from drinking are just laughs not bouncing thoughts of intervention.

-i am excited for saturday for elizabeth and for N. i know i have said this already and no i did not forget already just that i am excited. i like weddings. big or small. plus i just love rizza and N. and elizabeth knows how to steal you heart. especially when you get a bar bill.
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and so does mitzie. mitzie steals your heart when you see her and she brings a toy to you and does the ass in the air IM WAITING pose.
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and N too. but my favorite thing is to hug N. he is taller than me. i would have a picture of me hugging N but i do not because i am too busy hugging N to be concerned about taking a picture of me hugging N. i will in the future okay.

-ps. i like my new camera. i like the sepia option. it is obnoxious.
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Tuesday, January 29, 2008

witness the inder snow

-elizabeth and N are getting married. and on the west coast. so i get to be there. and watch. i like watching things and now i get to put my name on their paper known as a license to prove i like watching and saying that i watched and it happened for reals. congrats you two!@# can not wait for saturday.

-last saturday i went to surrey and partied with shari aka inder and no i do not call her inder because of any indian background because she does not have indian background but there is a long story and no body finds it funny so i will not bother telling it. anywayanyway we partied because it was her birthday. 29.
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this was the first picture of the night and i was like OH NO THIS IS NOT A GOOD SIGN but it was not bad because we did not get all retarded alien looking at the end of the night. phew
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take 2
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shelly said cheesedick and if you have ever experienced cheesedick you would make the same face for sures.
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inder did a muffdiver and the camera would not focus i do not know but it sort of is funny because that was how i was feeling probably at that point
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the polish people behind us were talking so loud and by talking i mean yelling at each other about polish things i guess so we drew pictures to entertain us and shari liked my dog.
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shari was channeling her asian that night NEEEYOOOWWMA
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the next morning we went walking with kali
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and it fucking snowed like no tomorrow.
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Thursday, January 24, 2008

video interlude - lotr recap

-i went and bought myself a new camera because i was not going to wait for bitch to buy me a new one because i do not like to wait and bitch will pay it off in other ways so please do not worry for me okay. last night we went to eat and i do not know how but i asked if he had seen lord of the rings and he was like yeah and i said i thought you have not and he said ya and i said what happened in it then and this was his recap.

he obviously has seen it ya. but i do love his bobble head motions.
ps it was all blurry because i did not know how to operate my camera because it is new and apparently it does not like b/w film mode or something i do not know i still do not know all of it because it is new.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

wrestling the hockey cameras

-have you ever felt really uninterested. i have been lately. just with everything and with people all dying and stuff it has made me a little neh about general stuff. like bitch losing my camera. ya i am little upset about that but it pales in comparison when i get a phone call that someone work related was found dead. not someone i work with in relation to clients and how another person was hit by a truck and died. and so on and so on. i told bitch that i am upset about the camera and i expect him to do the right thing about it and he said AWW I LOVE YOU TOO and then i said UMM OKAY YA ME TOO BUT THAT IS NOT WHAT I AM GETTING AT and then did not have the energy to explain.

-mind you prior to all that i went to a hockey game with skwirl and man skwirl and it was fun i have not been to a hockey game in forever and it was fun. the beers are still over priced and watered down like i remember but it was still fun especially the filipino lady beer server who flirted with me and i flirted back to get more beer but my fake-straight-flirtyness did not penetrate the wall of duty and served as she was supposed to. then i came home. tanya was here and her and bitch were doing whatever they do
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and then i got tired and could not get up or i just fell i do not really remember
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and nobody helped me up and i was sad.
then i was all settled in then tanya decided to touch my feet and if you know me you would know that i do not like to have my feet touched because i just do not like it and i will rip your face off but tanya decided to risk her life
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and that made me angry and she was able to fend me off for a time
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but then i showed her
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and she got what she deserved. me on top.
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so we fought. and then it sort of died down but then it got rowdy again and i showed her rowdy

THAT WASNT VERY NICE!!@#!
and that was that. then i fell asleep. then bitch and tanya went to a club to dance to some music and take pictures with my camera and then bitch lost it and then i woke up and ya.

the end.

next week: more of the same. sans camera loss. because i do not have a camera any more.

Friday, January 04, 2008

front lobe bath robe and NYE

-first off merry christmas. second. happy new year. late i know. sorry to those who did the group texting of merryment and i did not reply. i was too busy watching PLANET EARTH the best fucking documentary ever.

my brain has been hurting the last 3 weeks. not like figure of speech type hurting and woe is me i was thinking type hurting but actual hurting. i got all fucking freaked out and looked up all brain disorders or things wrong with your brain that can cause random and multiple points of pain around your cranium and no not starbucks board games type but my fucking brain. then i realized i drank for a good 2-3 weeks straight because that is what you do when it is holiday time ya. but now i have not had a drink in maybe 4 days now and it is weird and some what comforting. and my brain is actually feeling better and i know you might be like go see a doctor but i am the type of person that does not like doctors unless it is unbearable pain that is not going away from ignoring it then maybe but then when i do they blow the file off like WHOA YOU HAVENT BEEN HERE IN A LONG TIME stupid doctor humor i guess and make me feel like an asshole.

-i got some good stuff for christmas like a turkey dinner at home. i used to dispise turkey dinner because i was afraid of gravy and when i told tanya that she almost hit me she was so surprised because she says gravy consists of everything i love and when i asked her what that was her reply was like meatjuice or something. i think it was a gay joke. so i put gravy on my turkey now and it is amazing how the turkey tastes maybe like 3000 times better. thanks mom. and dad. and for all the great stuff especially the new robe that is made from babyskinasshair it is sooo soft and i wear it all the time.

-new years was quiet. of course it was just tanya bitch and i.
and we drank. that was my last day of drinking in fact. i did not even have a drink the next day to "take the edge off" which usually means marathon drinking party but we just sat here and drank and played scrabble and took pictures of us because like we do not have enough as is. i got to take a picture in the day of tango in a post-turtle-yoga pose. he never will stand still or yoga still when i try to take the picture and then he flips out and thrashes around and goes back into the water like a freak.
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i know i need to clean the glass.

then for a while maybe a couple of days before new years tanya thought bitch hated her like for real and it was so funny because it was just bitch wanting one night alone like fuck off tanya jesus but he did not hate her and so she bought him this tree/plant/thing as a peace offering because bitch goes from quiet native to fucking WAR CRAZED INDIAN hah not really but the mental picture is funny ow brain pain.
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i told the tree thing it saw its last day of braided'ness the moment tanya bought it because we do not know how to braid trees...

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tanya was rolling some paper or something i do not know umm and she was getting annoyed with me because i kept making the flash go off and i did it again and then WHAM the best picture ever. it is like the ummm rolled piece of paper is the biggest umm rolled paper in the world and just hovering but in fact tanya threw it at me. i know.
but mean while in the kitchen...
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. . .
he puked shortly after and not over any balconies thank the fuck but at one point we caught him opening the kitchen window and when i yelled BITCH NO PUKING OUT THE WINDOW as a joke he then closed the window and was like ohhhh. thank the fuck i said something. then he said hi to the toilet.
to ring in the new year we took pictures of what we look like in case we get kidnapped or stolen or theifed away from eachother and in case we need recent photos of us in 2008.
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so with this people would look for a girl looking continually confused.

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so with this people would look for a girl posing randomly in an ugly ass sweater that is going to get thrown out one day when said girl is not looking.

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and so with this people would look for someone who just did not care but then they would not care and just go WOW WHERE DID YOU GET THAT TOQUE and i would reply at some cool indonesian store going out of business on commercial where everything is cheap and they bargain like its mexico because i would not actually be kidnapped.