-dear jaw. you still hurt when i open you too wide. i am unsure as to why. bitch actually thinks you are in pain from the leftover cold stuff which i was like BITCH YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT but after talking with coworker she said she would have jaw pains when little due to colds so because of you hurting jaw you made me realize bitch is not JUST a pretty face but has some intelligence or is very lucky with throwing out random diagnosisisis without actually knowing what he is talking about. dear hurting jaw please stop because just trying to figure out if i goto a doctor or a dentist is hurting my brain. i think it is a doctor but i will be angry if they say dentist. dear hurting jaw. stop. i had troubles eating my pizza sub from subway with no pizza sause with a tiny bit of lettuce and a bit of onion with extra mayo toasted please and i even splurged on got bacon but i had troubles enjoying because of you jaw. in other news mr. jaw my teeth stopped hurting and my scab has completely fallen (read: torn) off now so you should stop your bodily annoyance that you are causing. love me.
-my hair has hit that point again of absolute unstylability and the last person of professional salon qualities who cut it did an okay job but for 50 something bucks i would have liked the actual style to last more than a week so i am going somewhere new and i have an idea of what i want and this time i am going to a fag because at least he i think will have a better idea of what i am wanting since i have more faith with a fag cutting a fags hair than a hag cutting a fags hair. we shall see. if he does bad then i will not be angry because i have a 50% off coupon and i will punch him in the throat and that will make me feel better if my hair is shit.
-friend bucci is in germany visiting his other half and they saw paris hilton and they waved to her and she did not wave back. he hates her anyway. he has a present for me that apparently he purchased off drunk italian monks and they even blessed the gift for me in a drunken manor which i am hoping he is not meaning puke but then again who has drunken italian monk puke on a souvenier nobody except me that is who. bucci returns on saturday and he and i are going to partake in our own drink fest. he has an xbox that is chipped or something that it can play ANY game from ANY gaming console like i am talking nintendo, atari, genisis, super nintendo and like tons more from back in the day. i spent last sunday playing old nostalgic game after nostalgic game... its great.
like seriously it was sad how much fun i had....
-so i just finished this book 'a complicated kindness' by mirian toews and i have to say that it has been a while that i have come across an author that once finishing a book of theirs wanting to go out and buy more and reading all their stuff because i am a freak like that. i did that with john irving and tom robbins. i love their writing and i enjoy miriams too because she has this ability to throw in quick wit in moments that you would not expect and at one point she describes how the main character (nomi) is trying to get ahold of the boy she is involved with after they slept together for the first time and the chaotic franticness she goes throw to find him totally reminded me of situations very similar when i started coming out and sleeping with men and they would not call and in my immaturity i would like track them down to find they had no interest in calling me etc. anyway that moment in the book and on totally captured me and had me stuck. so i am buying more of her stuff. sorry if i just ruined anything but like i said at that moment in the book is where i totally related and realized her ingenious story telling ability. when i was finished i was not satisfied but i was but i was left going BUT BUT but then i again i was happy the way it ended but but...
-so since i was/am sick well i am not really sick any more i am just in that phase where it is the after effects and when i say after effects i mean like tons of excess snot but ya since then i am just in the mood for complaining about stupid stuff like my jaw is fucked for some reason it is feeling like i preformed fellatio for something stupid like 5 hours or something and let me tell that is not the reason because i barely have the patience or attention span to blow off bitch for more than 2 minutes. i do not know what i did to it but i can only open it so far. maybe if i ignore it it will eventually go back to normal. who knows. um on friday night bitch and i enjoyed deep fried perogies and beer and at one point i bit into something and i do not know what something but whatever it was it shot pain all through out my right side of my teeth. it hurt like hell. then next day i went to drink a beer and i got the shooting pain from the cold. then again last night. i am thinking i fucked up one of my fillings or something. who knows. this morning it wasnt so bad. i hate dentists. my elbow from falling off my bike back when is pissing me off because the scab keeps getting snagged on stuff and ripping and it hurts like hell but probably not really but as i said i am just in a whiny fucking mood so for the time being YES it hurts like hell.-what i can not complain about was mariah carey on saturday night and yes bitch and i did actually go see the concert and it was actually very good. say what you will about the diva bitch that she is protrayed as or is but girl can fucking sing. unlike all the poptarts out there since she is not concerned with dancing and shit she sings the whole way through and not skimping out on those ever famous high notes. it was good. except for this whiny guy named tray or tre or whatever but he sang two really bad r-kelly type songs and i almost left if he broke into a third but he was just there to keep us 'entertained' while she did a costume change that consisted of adding sunglasses and a necklase to what she was wearing previously. but ya. and busta ryhmes as an opening act was not too shabby either.-i was waiting for bitch to get off work yesterday so i was in chapters and i always make a point of going to the art section to see if there are any more dali books that i do not already have and some dumb chick is standing in front of all the andy warhol books and she goes DARREN WHO IS ANDREW WARHOL .... IS HE A SINGER... WHY DOES HIS NAME SOUND FAMILIAR and i almost puked at her stupidity. to top it off her boyfriend did not even know. i wanted to say something but i saw she was wearing ankle socks with her flat half open toe shoes and i figure it would be a lost cause. she knew who tupac was though because she squeeled when she saw that 'TUPAC JUST PUT OUT A NEW BOOK... I MISS TUPAC... I BET HE STILL IS ALIVE...' um ya. i wish you could hit random strangers and not get charged for it.
note: i think it may be the excess snot but i think the guy throwing the punch is sorta sexy in that hillbilly way.
-so thank you mr.weather changing gawds for changing the weather very suddenly to like super hot and nice where i can go out and smoke in the moring in my shorts or underwear pending on my levels of exhibitionismsims to getting up and throwing on layers of clothing to go out and smoke and shiver because it is all cold like and now because of the change of the weather i have one of those horrible change of the weather colds. every time i type 'change of the weather' i am reminded of an old limerick my dad always used to say about a man from madras who had balls made of glass and with the change of the weather he'd rub them together and lightining shot out of his ass or something like that but i always liked the one that now i think about it was not a limerick but it ended like 'paco now he was a fucker he lined his ass with shards of glass and circumsized the skipper' and that always made me giggle when i was young maybe a forshadowing of my gayness at the thought of a skipper sticking it into paco. i always prayed i would not meet paco. i like my foreskin. um anyway i am sick. everytime i am sick i bitch about being sick because i hate being sick. i was sent home yesterday from the office because i was sick. i watched really bad day time tv like rachel ray and that woman is annoying if i knew her somehow i would slip some sort of downer into her food but she has such an adundance of energy she probably would not even know. she smiles too much and laughs at stupid shit. then i did nothing. you know, what sick people do except blow snot everywhere and stuff. oh and then i watched more tv and i watch dog the bounty hunter and say what you will but i know tons of people out there who are like YOU WATCH THAT and i am like ya and then they are like YA ME TOOO all sad with themselves but i find it funny and they had this special about how he got arrested regarding the mexico thing where he captured that raptist guy who was the heir to max factor fortune and stuff and i think if he is sent to mexico to face charges i will lose all hope for man kind. not really but that is sorta sad. oh i also was flipping and i used to watch days of our lives when i was in high school with some chick friends and i always thought the lady who plays hope was pretty now she looks like skeletor and i am like ewww. beau is still pretty though. um what else. nothing really because i am sounding really sad from all the crappy tv i watched yesterday. ps i like neo-citron with rye and my mom told me so did my grandpa. and she would say to him DAD you are not to drink alcohol and then neo-citron and he would say NO i am drinking with the neo-citron. hah. just like me. tote loved that man. ::sigh::
-if i were to have a meat loaf party and i could invite anybody dead or alive this is who i think i would invite.first but not foremost i would invite jesus because i think it would be interesting to see if he would eat my meatloaf but i would be very blunt to him crown of thorns or no and i would be like LISTEN YOU THIS IS NOT THE HOUSE OF GOD SO IF I HEAR AS MUCH AS 1 PREACHYING SOUNDING PEEP FROM YOU...YOU ARE GONE!@#! and done. i would invite Salvador Dali because well simply he is amazing and i would tell him as he came in LISTEN YOU THIS IS THE HOUSE OF DALI AND YOU CAN DO AND SAY WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT!@#! I LOVE YOU!@#! even if Dali told me that meatloaf should taste like a gelatinous testicle of a rhino hovering over a glistening vagina belonging to estelle getty then i would try my hardest to make a meatloaf of that description for him probably sans the glistening vagina of estelle getty though. i would invite Gala too because he loved her and i thought they were cute and when he met her he fell to the ground laughing because he had no other way of expressing the way he felt about her. cute huh...? i would invite only a couple of bloggers that do not live here but only a couple because i would not want Dali thinking i am too huge of a dork but i would invite elizabeth and raymi. raymi is intriguing and i want her to try my meatloaf and she can bring fil because he is pretty to look at but i would ration his meatloaf if he started talking 3rd person irl and elizabeth is just one of those people that in random emails it is like HELLO WE ARE SIMILAR and i think she is funny and plus i want to steal her dog mitzie oh ya ps elizabeth bring mitzie ... mitzie can have meatloaf too.i would invite some good authors to tell me stories like tom robbins and john irving. then i would make them write me a novel after having meatloaf and i would tie them up and break their feet with sledghammers if they did not obey hi kathy bates. i would invite kathy but not because i only have so much meatloaf to go around. but i would have enough for maynard james keenan to sing us total awesome songs like leonard cohen covers ACTUALLY i would want him to serenade me with Famous Blue Raincoat and then break into I Want To Break Free by queen. yes i would. my party would rock. i bet jesus would leave first because he would tire of me trying to bite him since his blood is like wine or some shit like that. could you imagine... i wonder if it is like a merlot...? 
-where has the week and a half gone and i am not too sure but it has flown by and wow. i got a budha board from a friend on the weekend and it is great for bathrooms i am thinking it is like an etch-a-sketch but with water and when the water dries the board is clear again and you can go back to painting rude and graphic images while partaking in bowel movements. fun. ALSO i went to value village on the weekend and i got one of the uncle john bathroom readers and they are great because they have stupid facts that you would not really care about but are SUPER AMAZING when you are confined to the toilet like 13 something thousand of the people who have been abducted by aliens are women. like normally i would be like WHO CARES but while sitting there pondering whether you shoud wipe now or later just in case there is that one that usually waits to last minute before coming then that information is like WOWOWOW I DID NOT KNOW THAT. i think i may include a new segment to my blog now called BOWELEDGEMENT it is the word bowel and knowledge and ment all put together. i am smart today.-i scraped my hands the other night because i went to a bbq at a friends house and i got there by riding my bike and on the way home i was a little tipsy but i made it all the way from gastown to east van and that is good for semi-drunk bmx'r and right when i get a block away from my place i hit a curb all funny like and landed on my hands. they hurt something bad but i forgot about it and fell asleep. i woke up saturday and i was like I AM NOT FOLDING CLOTHES TODAY and i called crapland and said I AM NOT FOLDING CLOTHES TODAY and did not goto work. so i sat and watch flight 93 on A&E and i started to get all emotional watching it so i went for a smoke and then came back in and continued to watch and continued getting emotional because i was unable to find the remote. when i did i was just in time for celebrity duets which i love for only one reason and that is little richard because that guy should be dead but he is not and he randomly yells SHUT UP like a bad case tourettes. hes is the grandfather of fabulousnesseness not richard simons as some people think and when i say some people i am meaning the fat ones sweating to the oldieeeeesss.-there have been some great drunken photoshots at my apartment within the last week and when i am not crazy and busy i will post them they are great at least we found them great because we were in them and we were tossed!@!-i am just wanting to post to be like I AM ALIVE. tada. and melissa i recognize your comment too i just forgot. maybe you should call me huh maybe?
-i did not notice certain people posted coments from like ages ago and i never saw them so to:cyn: thank you for not thinking i am icky and i am sorry you are a homophobe but i swear if i met you in real life you would not be because your face would be in a pillow as i ask you to bite on it. hah i kid its just that i JUST saw your comment from way back when when you retracted your icky comment.
jocelyn: i had no idea you read this call me um YA! and if you do not have my number email me
i am drinking at my parents and i love their internet that does not require me hanging half way out my bedroom window and they have made me meat loaf for dinner and fuck you if you are like EWW MEAT LOAF because you have never had my parents meatloaf it is to die for and they pre-made 3 of them for me to take home so i can cook so this is an open invitation to all the meatloaf haters out there if you want to try some meatloaf that will make you absolutely die in disbelief of what meatloaf is then you are welcome to come visit me on meatloaf night.
