programmable flight painting

-so people meet the thing that has had the biggest amount of intimidation on me since october last year when i was asked by friends to paint them something i said sure and what they had in mind was something 6 feet by 3 feet and i was like OH MY GAWD since i have never painted anything that big so i started and it has taken me forever because i am overly anal over the little flaws and finally i just said i cant be so anal and just finished it off and that is what it is. it only took me 8 months mind you probably 6 of those were just me stressing over how am i going to ever finish this thing. i get to give possession on tuesday. phew.

-yesterday was an awesome day not because i finally got paid which seemed forever and day because you know when you become broke and then its like everyday that goes by is like OH FUCK and then you get paid and you are like finally but then you pay the bills/rent/bus pass/etc and you are sorta like back where you started but anywayanyway i found out i won two roundtrip tickets to anywhere westjet flies in the continental US. so YELLO. i am excited because i am thinking florida sounds nice. actually it sounds very nice. for free. yes that sounds nice.

-in other news i am leaving for whistler tomorrow. that is exciting. i am bringing scrabble. i like scrabble and drinking. i like those two alot.

-yesterday i programmed the word 'facebook' into my cell phone so when i text i dont always have to spell it out. the saga continues...

mucus weather cabin

-okayokayokay i am starting to get really pissed with the weather here and i know i shouldnt because hello i live in bc but it is still pissing me off and i know people are like well be thankful that that is all that is pissing you off and yes thank you you pretentious pricks i am thankful however i am still pissed that this weather is so fucking shitty where i wake up and i need blankets all crazy like and then the next morning i have to throw the covers off cause its too warm already and i am sure that is doing wonders on my immune system where in my office our accountman decides he likes to blow his fucking nose in the kitchen sink with his hands and its loud and fucking gross if you ask me but i dont even have the balls to go talk to accountman and the etiquette of blowing your nose when you are sick so i just dont really use the sink at all. so ya the weather is pissing me off...

-i was riding home on the bus the other day and that is not news i know but when we were on hastings the traffic was ass slow and it was okay i was reading my book called i know this much is true by wally lamb and its totally an oprah book club book but i got it cause it is about some mental twin brother and in the first page i saw the word sacrifice and it caught my attention and plus it was on sale but when i took it to mexico to read bitch hid it on me because on the first day i was reading it and it talks about his mom dying of cancer and i cried because i am a bit of a pussy like that and bitch was like STOP READING THAT YOURE ON VACATION and hid it but anywayanyway on the bus i was just like whatev and the bus driver man yells DONT ANYBODY LOOK TO THE LEFT so basically saying everybody look to your left and we all did and there was a dead body on the sidewalk with a tarp over it and then everybody was like SHRUG and sat back down and looked straight again and i laughed at how nobody really was surprised that they just saw a dead body under a tarp on hastings street and continued to read. it made me sorta like HUH thats fucked but anyway.

-i am going to whistler this weekend and i am looking forward to it because back to paragraph 1 the weather is pissing me off and i am not doing anything much on the weekends and this will be a nice get away with about 10 friends and i am going to pretend its big brother and its a cabin full of homos plus one girl and she is the responsible decision maker and my only goal is to not drown in the hot tub. seriously. people have to bring board games and food and all this other crap and my assigned objective was to not fall alseep in the hot tub and drown. i love it. i am also excited because that means i can take more pictures to put on facebook and tag people. i have to mention facebook everytime. i will too. seriously. i check facebook before my email. fucking pathetic.

drinking facebook up

-on friday i went out with lauren and shaun and they are people from high school from like 10 years ago that i have not seen and thanks to facebook we decided to meet up and go have drinks and it was fun and so weird but really fun seeing them and totally hit it off so much that i felt so comfortable to drink like it was a race and then fell asleep. but when i was awake we had fun. then i felt bad the next day so i treated them to breakfast and i realized my sunglasses were missing from the night before and i was like NOOOOO and i asked lauren if she had them and she said no so i said can we check the pub and they werent there and i was really fucking sad because i had bought those sunglasses in mexico and they are totally fake burberry but i loved them and then i checked the middle console of her car and they were there and i was like THIEF!!!!!!!!!! and she laughed.









when i woke up the next morning and saw this i was like whos and whats is that?!?!


update: i figured i should post this picture because it is obviously the moment when lauren was all like i will take his sunglasses and he wont even know it and urged me on to KEEP DRINKING... there is ALWAYS a method to the madness...



-work sucks this week. that is all i have to say about that.

random saying drawers

-so i was thinking about when i broke up with my last girlfriend that i had back in like the day i think i was about 21 and anyway when we were about to break up she called me and was like WE NEED TO TALK and the way the conversation was going it was very aloof like and not pin point on what the problem was and i really did not see it coming but she was saying things like I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO and ITS NOT FAIR TO BOTH OF US and anywayanyway i started thinking OMG SHE IS TELLING ME SHE IS PREGNANT and so i started saying things like WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO ... WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO and she then said she was coming over to my place to talk in person and i was thinking HOW AM I GOING TO TELL MY PARENTS because when my dad was young he had a girl like 17 young and he always said do not follow in my foot steps so i was all freaking out and when she came over we started talking and i was so concerned and then she said something like so i think we need to stop dating and i was like WHAT ABOUT THE... ARE YOU PREGNANT? and she looked at me and was like NOOOO and i said oh what is this all about then and she said that she thought we should stop going out and that was all and i laughed and i was like PHEW THATS IT?!?! and like laughed more with relief and ya. it was a funny awkward but anywayanyway i thought about all this today and i thought WHAT IF she was pregnant and that would mean i would have a little 6 year old running around. sorta cute when i think about it but i know if she did have my baby i would have been thrust back into the closet a little harder and then live this life of straight couple suburban bullshit and then after 40 years of marriage get busted with a male prostitute and shamed. the end.

-bitch and i were talking and bitch has some classic lines that he says and you shake your head or you laugh and we were talking about vaginas or something and i mentioned something like ALOT OF GUYS DONT EVEN KNOW WHERE THE CLIT IS and bitches response was I KNOW ITS LIKE WHAT DRAWER IS IT IN?? hahah. i laughed. i laughed so hard i had to write it down and i found the paper this morning that is why i bring this up. when we were with n and elizabeth we were talking about tanya and how she was in accounting and then bitch piped up YA SHE IS LIKE SMART SHE KNOWS ALLL THE NUMBERS. we all laughed then too. i should create a book.

-tonight i am going into surrey to go drinking with people from highschool (THANKS FACEBOOK) and it will be fun i know it and i already warned my parents that i am coming into surrey to go drinking with people from highschool and that i am bring a set of house keys so dont be surprised if i pop up at like 3am all trashed and my mom said "that is good thanks for telling me i will be sure to leave the top lock on". bitch. she wont though. she knows better.

undecided photo weather water

-todays weather is really gay in terms like it is raining and then stops and then is sunny and then stops and then rains some more and then stops and then is sunny and then stops and then is really windy and chip bags fall off the people upstairs patio and lands below ours and i know they are gonna think it is from us and then it rains again and then stops and then the sun comes out again to have it only rain again.

-so friday night turned out to be quite fucking fun and i can not wait for 1/2 alive to post the pictrues cause after the beers and red bull (not together) i was hunting down camera lady and being all like THAT IS RIGHT and dancing and dancing and this one chick was funny and she said nice foot work all like RIGHT ON MAN and i was in line to pee and i was like thanks are you in line and she walked away. hahahah. i laughed. then went outside to pee instead.

-we did a massive photo clean up off the computer and its amazing how much better it works out and we found these pictures on bitch's camera that we had forgot to download from last weekend or something i dunno they are all starting to look the same

tanya was trying to quit smoking and this was like day three and she was a fucking bitch.

this is frank. or we call him boots because he has white paws and i know the obvious name would be socks but we liked boots better.
edit: on second look that is actually not boots but some other fucking stray cat that we befriended along the way. we will be the crazy cat people once we are allowed cats in our apartment.

i dislike physical activity

-we just rearranged our ghetto bedroom and now i am excited about going to bed tonight. maybe i will get a good sleep because last night i got a real shitty sleep and i kept waking up and getting a glass of water because i was thristy all crazy like and then i drank so much water i think within a 3 hour time frame i felt all sloshy on my insides and it was so uncomfortable and i started to remember something i heard about water poisoning and stayed awake for almost 45 minutes thinking about it and then i fell asleep. the end.

homeless paitence loss

-this morning i almost freaked the fuck out on some homeless guy in bitch's starbucks store i was standing in the line and there was this crack head just wandering around and then i hear this lady go hey and i look down and dude is stuffing unground beans in his jacket and i bent low and was like HEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYY right in his fucking ear and i made more commotion than what he did but that is okay and he stood up to run and i grabbed at his jacket and then i realized what the hell am i going to do and so i let go and let the crackhead take his 3 bags of unground coffee. i aint going to punch some homeless fag who may be carrying gawd knows what but still i was irritated all to hell. bitch got me a coffee so i was cool after but i walked the rest of the way to work looking for the freak mainly to ask what the hell HE was going to do with 3 bags of UNGROUND coffee beans. eat it?

-bitch and i are supposed to go to some event but we fell asleep because tanya came over with some buddy and she was trashed like super trashed and then at one point i was like WE ALL NEED NAP TIME because she was loud and then i fell asleep and woke up to elizabeth calling me and now we are trying to decide whether we should go. tanya left so we dont know. probably since we just cracked a red bull and gin and because i have the most gin in the world right now.

-i called some cab company because we are going and they are playing old english fucking orchestra music and it is not going with my raverap.

-oh and ps. i found something that talks about benson and the last person on earth thing to prove im not a fucking crazy ass about the last man on earth....

burnt pizza sky

-have you ever been so crazy convinced that armageddon was upon us... i do all the time especially when the sky looks like this and it reminds me of the episode of benson where the world ends but benson and gretchen were in the basement of the mansion so they didnt die and they are the only two people left but through the window of the basement the outside was the same color as the sky in that picture and then benson and gretchen learned to get along it was a cute episode but obviously a dream sequence. i wonder how many people actually know what i am talking about.

-i have today off because i can and it is nice and i get to remind myself what daytime tv is and how bad it licks balls.

-so the result of the beach was burn. surprise. but just on my front because i was a fucking retard and didnt put sunscreen there oh but i put it on my shoulders so on monday it sorta looked like i had shoulder pads on or something gay. itll fade in like 3 days anyway.

-bitch and i have found this pizza place right by our apartment and it has 18 inch jumbo pizzas for cheap and it is actually very good pizza and everytime i order i order a pepperoni and ask for the pepperoni cooked on top of the cheese and everytime they go BUT IT WILL BURN and i am like YO I LIKE IT CRISPY and then they say BUT IT... and then i am like ITS COOL I LIKE IT LIKE THAT and they think i am weird surely i am not the only person out there that likes their meat crispy. fucking lunatics. anyway. i think we are going onto almost like 3 days straight of the same stuff and we eat almost all of it in one sitting and then we lay on the couch like fucking whales cause you know this is the best way to a summer body. we may even have it again tonight.

bienvenidos beach smoke

-today is the first fucking weekend where the sunshine has actually decided to stay for the weekend rather than just be present during the week while i swelter in my office slaving over the computer non-stop with my eyes feeling like they are about to burst and die but then i get to go home and get a slight touch of sun as i sit on my patio drinking a beer but i have been jonesing a full day of sun and sand since i have been back from that place i wont mention again but ya so today actually looks like it will be the winning day. i am looking forward to it.

-i finally got to meet up with elizabeth and she is dawl. and mitzie too. i have yet to meet n but something about him dying. welcome to vancouver. bitch even gave her our mark out for free coffee so if that isnt love i do not know what it is. i have yet to get them out and get them trashed all cambie style! hah.

-tanya has quit smoking. we hung out with her last night and it is day three and chickypoo is a fucking freaky bitch without nicotine. the slightest thing was setting her off and at one point i got up and without thinking said I AM GOING FOR A SSMMMMSMSSSSNNNAPPLE!@#! and she glared at me and called me an asshole i touched her boob or something i dont remember. but she said the best thing when i made grilled cheese sandwiches she goes FOOD TASTES DIFFERENT and then bitch says THATS BECAUSE YOU QUIT SMOKING and tanya replies NO NO I LIKE CIGARETTE FOOD. i laughed at her. that was classic.