alpaca sun

-so i am back from vegas. i have been here since sunday but i have been busy with work and i do not feeling like being all computer friendly when i come home from work but anyway vegas was great i am broke but i have a few new material items that i am loving and i have decided though i am done with vegas for a while 3 times within 2 years is enough and i can not stand all the skanks down there with their asses hanging out but yes i am not straight so maybe if it was guys in their briefs walking around just the hot ones then yes maybe i would sing a different song but the rudeness of the airhead dipshit chickypoos made shari and i crazy so we drank at the pool to make us feel better in the sun while it was snowing in vancouver.




see the guy in the striped shorts see if everyone in vegas was like that then yes please walk around with your ass hanging out and i will take care of you. shari and i loved this man even though his abs screamed high maintance but its all the same when their face is in a pillow yes. shari got some great spy shots of him. she is coming over tonight to give me swap pics so i will post those because i am a pervert.


the palazzo looks quite impressive at night.

our room. i love junior suites.

this is an alpaca and for some reason they were at the secret garden with tigers and dolphins. this guy was the epitome of cool and always looked alert but i would too if my area was right next to the snow white tiger.


awww... look at his face!!!

seigfried and roy are such homos...

we went and saw LOVE the cirque de soliel show and holy fucking shit what an AMAZING show. i say go if you are down there and yes tickets are expensive but it is worth it especially if you know at least one beatles song which everyone does so everyone should go.

viva promises

-oh my goodness i have today off and i am up at 6am but that is because i am going to vegas today and i get to stay here and while down there i get to go see this all in the name of work and i am just overall excited and my insides are doing the gurgling excited sound but i have to wait till 130 ugh i hate waiting.


-last weekend was insanity of rehab'ness and in rehab fashion we just got plain fuckered and it was great time and it took me several days to feel normal again except my calves are still screaming at me because we decided to go jogging in the woods since tanya is a fucking health freak ever since she started going to the gym and had a cute personal trainer so we went with her and i was hungover and did not know better and we ran and i am out of shape but tanya pointed out i run on my toes and that is why my calves are screwed they feel like rocks painful rocks on my legs with every step. stupid working out. here are just a few pictures of stretching, tights and chinese hats.



this was like the promises uniform


anyway off to open my suitcase and second ghuess every article of clothing i have packed so far and repack maybe about 4 more times because that is the way i roll.
kisses

rehab'ing 4 real

-when people have asked me what i am doing this weekend i keep saying rehab and i am not getting the response i want. instead i am getting the "oh yeah..." not the OMG REALLY I DID NOT REALIZE YOU HAD A PROBLEM but instead with the oh yeah's its like people know i have a problem and are like WHAT TOOK HIM SO LONG is what i know what they are actually thinking you assholes. but ya i am not going to a real rehab just a fake rehab to get fuckered. end story. rizza you can tote come for sure next time. let me know how tofino is though. and HAPPY BIRTHDAY (for the 14th)!@#$!

-i am steering away from work i do not know why i am just not feeling it today i guess and i came across pictures of bitch and i in disneyland from last june

look he had normal hair. he is getting his hair cut today and i said what are you doing to it and (rizza youll love this) he said "I HAVE A PLAN!" ok ok i know you have a plan but if that ski slope of a hairdo continues i have a plan of singledom. speaking of bitch and i will be celebrating (is that the right word for the occasion) 4 YEARS together. my gawd. i laugh because before i met bitch i went on a string of dates that i just kept putting out 1st date style and never get calls back and i do not know how to analyze that but anyway so when i went on a date with bitch my friend mr lea was like DONT PUT OUT so i did not and the rest is history. stupid experiment. love u bitch.

sleeping in sin with trash

-last saturday was one of the roughest ever ever and ya. i was not originally going to head into surrey to see my cat but had this crazy dream and i am not a crazy dream person and let the dreams dictate my life or anything like that but when you dream of your cat making its way to your apartment to say bye to you and you wake up with streaming tears of sadness you decide quite easily to go see her so i did and then on saturday morning i decided to goto the vet with her and i got to be in the room and gave her her final scratch behind the ear right where she likes and then she just went to sleep. i cried. hard. someone said it is like losing family but i said it is harder. for 18 years this cat did nothing wrong well except scratch me because i was pissing her off but i deserved it right and ya then you decide that it has to goto sleep now but ya. i'm sad and i miss her she was always something i would look forward to when visiting my parents but anywayanyway i did get some pictures of her on saturday morning before vet time but they make me sad looking at so instead i will put a picture of her sleeping in the cat nip plant that she loved.



-this weekend we are heading to amandas place in maple bumfucknowhere and it is this huge land and they call it promises as in promises rehab because we go there to get all messed up and love life and grass and trees and ponds you know. lalohan.

-and THEN on wednesday next week i am going to vegas and i am getting excited mind you our flights lick ass because i did not realize that my PRIZE had some tight ass restrictions so now shari and i are connecting through EDMONTON for 3 hours to get there but whatev its free. i just want to get away and forget everything for a few days. it is long overdue.

-later i will tell the story of the guy in the vet waiting room talking on the vets phone (cause he originally asked to use it to call the police but for some reason was calling them dad and mom) about people in the "country" of surrey are after him and how he his selling COCAINE (he would say it really loud too) to just stay off the street and he is not sleeping with joe's mom and i wanted to rip his face off but in surrey you just do not know you know and so my mom was like jared you should go outside and i was like no and i gave the guy harsh squint eye like FUCK OFF I AM ABOUT TO PUT MY CAT DOWN AND YOU ARE TAINTING THE EMOTION WITH OUT RIGHT ANGER AND I AM NOT HAPPY and then he eventually left after calling his dad a goof for complaining that he is always asking for money and i was like WHAT THE FUCK because the whole time the reception lady was not there so it was just my mom and i who got to witness that and then he comes back and asks where a pay phone was and i was like OUTSIDE YOU SHOULD GO USE IT and he was like really i did not see one and i said ITS THERE AROUND THE CORNER YOU SHOULD GO USE IT and he was like thanks and walked away and i still wanted to suffocate him with a bag of dog food. then my dad came out of the other room after the dogs check up and saw my mom and i and was like WHATS WRONG and we both rolled our eyes. so that was just the story. the end.

patches

-i just finished speaking with my parents and they are asking if it is okay to put down my cat that lives at their place because she is old like 18 years old and i totally understand and knew it was coming but i can not stop crying and it is the annoying crying where the tears just wont stop and i totally understand why they asked because she is losing weight like mad and she is now completely blind and is falling off counters and they do not want her to get hurt and my dad asked if i wanted to go out to surrey to see her and i said no just please put her down and that was the hardest thing to say because i do not want to be selfish and have her possibly hurt herself between now and then since she apparently is losing balance and almost fell off the staircase from the second floor last night. i do not even have the energy to go searching for a bunch of nice pictures of her to post because it will make me more upset and teary and snot filled. i just keep remembering how when i was living at home and i would come home bummed out because of some trivial aspect of life she always found me and would sit in my lap and i would pet her and she would purr because no matter what she loved me and that made her the best cat. i am quite sad right now.
update: i found one

weekend pasta trip of sin

-i had a good weekend. friday was margaret cho and she was fucking hilarious of course. the opening act was some dude dressed as a female singing about shoes and is this huge youtube thing but i am not sure why and i have not looked for him on youtube because like i said i was not huge into it ya and then cho came out and she is awesome in that she is completely and utterly gay friendly or as she would say queer. the show had me laughing the whole night but the ONE thing i could have done without was the lezbian behind us because each time the words 'pussy' '2-way-dildo' 'eat me out' or anything vaginally related she fucking yelled with joy and it was like yes we get it your lezbian you do not see me yelling everytime she says penis. shut up. but then i laughed and it was okay.

saturday was lets have the regulars over and drink and shari was here and we made pasta and loved photos.


shari thought the garlic smell was coming from me...






then the night got messy.

sunday bitch was like lets go somewhere so we went to granville island



and then it sank it that it was sunday. so i did what every one does on sunday when they realize it is sunday.
buy candy.
lots of it.

and that crazed look is because when i was standing there i realized i just spent $9.87 on candy by accident because scooping out your own candy bag is overwhelming and fun and saddening all in one big burrito.
so i did what i normally do.


-in other news i am going to las vegas on april 17 with shari and staying at the palazzo for 3 nights and i am so excited at how this all worked last minute. it was supposed to be florida but for certain reasons that is not all fitting in the picture so last minute molded this and i am happy. i love my job.