Tuesday, July 10, 2007

brotherly leering for the beach

-i found out i missed big brother last night. now i sorta lost interest in following it and then i stop and remember the GONORRHEA and i chuckle and i am tempted to check the tvguide channel thing on channel 2 and then have you noticed they change the format of that channel depending on the hour of the day like during primetime they let it take the whole screen that way it does not take almost 10 minutes to do a full cycle but then they change it back to the stupid format so they can continue showing really bad adds for hair loss and accident lawyers and oh back to big brother i wanted to watch the episode on the internet and when i did it started off with all these commercials and then after maybe about 5 of them and they were so boring it was like YOU CAN NOT WATCH THIS FROM YOUR AREA ONLY IN THE UNITED STATES. oh so i am not good enough to watch big brother because i am in canada but i am good enough to watch your fucking commercials. i was angry but got over it.

-speaking of tolerance (shrug) i have lately seeming to be noticing alot of OLD CREEPY MEN say standing at a bus stop then they do this thing where some young pretty girl walks by and they do the whole LEEEEERRRR at like total 180 with the head as they are walking by and it is so noticeable and super fucking gross and i want to get a tazer gun and zap them randomly when i see them do it i mean it is okay to check people out but when you are raping them with your eyes and you are like their father its fucking sick and bothers me and nono do not get me wrong i will do that too but i do it to men and i look good and am not 60 so it is a tote different story.

-i bought toilet paper a 24 roll and it was 2ply and it was ONLY 3.98 and i can not believe how excited i was and so i came home and made it my status on facebook and i can not believe the response i got and alot of peope questioned the validity of my story or by degrading it by saying WELL WAS IT ONLY 1 PLY umm no it was 2 ply muthafucka and i know they are just jealous so i am cool with it. i was alone and it was a limit of 1 per customer and i was so tempted to make friends with someone in supervalu to be like ILL BLOW YOU IF YOU BUY THIS FOR ME SO I CAN HAVE 48 ROLLS OF TP but i figured it would be hard to carry home so i veto'd the idea.

-question: if you dislike your toenail like totally dislike because it is all fucking mutated from jabbing it into coffee tables, door ways, new phone books lying on the floor etc etc etc ... can you ask a doctor to remove your nail? because i am getting really tired of the pinky toe nail that i have on my right foot because it looks more like a talon and well its fucking gross i would post a picture but i am pretty sure that most of yall would puke right there on your keyboard so i wont. but ya. it sucks and i slammed it into a phone book tonight and its is totally throbbing all hard like. stupid toenail.

-i complained about the weather well not complain because it is nice its just that on the weekends it is so much cooler than what it is during the week so the boss lady said i can take this afternoon off which is exciting so i am going to the beach. i will tan or burn more than likely because they are calling for some major hot weather which is perfect. i am excited. i think i have been to the beach maybe like 3 times this year so far which is pathetic.

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