-yesterday i was doing some work and i get a phone call in the office and it was bitch and he was all like is it your lunch yet and i said actually i am just biting my sandwich now and he asked if i wanted to eat it outside with him since he was on his lunch and it was actually nice outside so i had actually made 2 sandwichs for me because i love me them genoa salami sandwiches actually i just love genoa salami and i think it goes back to when i was a little boy my father unit would give me beer and salami which explains so much to me now being the raging drunk that i am and anywayanyway i love genoa oh actually when i housesat for friend skwirl she asked what i wanted for groceries and all i said was genoa and she like bought be 500grams of it and i ate all in one night. i heart salami. anywayanywayanyway met bitch downstairs i gave him my second sandwich and he had something behind his back and it was a rose for no reason just because he is cute and i was all OOOOO THANK YOU BABE but i sorta think i got the shit end of the stick because a rose does not equal genoa well at least not in my world... but its the thought i guess.
-this morning i was on the bus on the way to work and my bus is usually a very busy one at 7:45 in the morning and when i got on i had to stand so i was standing and there was this guy who is always on the bus and is in a wheel chair and he is super nice and anyway he got off and since he got off that meant the fold up seat was available so i thought hey why not sit down so i go to pull the seat down and as i do my bag knocks into some other lady's bag and it was one of those huge leather bags the ladies are all about carrying and it was open and it just toppled over on to the floor. i was all OH SHIT I AM SOO SORRY and she picks up the bag and all this stuff falls out and i instinctivelyely bent down to help her pick her stuff up and then i saw a bunch of tampons and when i am saying a bunch i am like meaning 12 or something crazy and then i got embarrased for her and just said sorry and sat down while she picked up all her tampons because i personally do not care about tampons i am not like one of those males who is all OH MY GAWD WOMEN BLEED FROM THEIR VAGINA THAT IS SO GROSS i am all whatev but i think it would have been embarrasing for her so i took the road of me looking like an asshole rather than embarrass her because if i did help i am all sure and positive i would have said something inappropriate like WHOA HO WITH ALL THESE TAMPONS I AM GUESSING ITS A HEAVY DAY and then she would like cry or hit me or something so i just sat down instead.
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