-today is my parents gazillionth anniversay and they are so cute well not gazillionth but up in the 30's or something long like that but the other day my dad had some weird food reaction and his lips swelled really big and as my mom described "you know those tribe people in africa that have those big lip disks dad looked like that but not black and no disk" and she couldnt figure it out and my dad said DONT TRADE ME I WILL BE FIXED SOON and my mom being the cutest fucking thing around said DEAR IF I HAVE NOT TRADED YOU IN AFTER 30 SOMETHING YEARS, 3 KIDS, BANKRUPTCY ETC I AM NOT ABOUT TO TRADE YOU IN NOW!!! oh. good mom. happy anniversary parental people!!! love. they also joke around that they could not even divorce eachother if they wanted to because they can not get their rings off. suckers.
-well if today is my parents anniversary that can only mean one thing and that is meaning tomorrow is my muther fucking birthday. no one ever really cares that much myself included but that is okay. i am cool with that. i just like free stuff like food and alcohol and possibly a gift card to IKEA (ahem mom and dad if you are reading this because i need a bed frame since my mattress sits on the floor and i am convinced that insects crawl up the mattress and hang out with me when i sleep which is GROSS but i know with a bed frame that would not happen and i know you will say then they can crawl up the bed frame to get in your mattress and i know that but i want a bed frame and that is my best reasoning as to why. plus it would look not as ghetto...). so ya. my birthday. i will be 26. jesus. i do not feel old. i did the other day when i saw joanna kerns and no one knew who she was. that was a wake up call that i am not the young one anymore. my boss said i can have anything i want for lunch tomorrow so guess who is having a keg fillet mignon with a twice baked potaTOE tomorrow at around noon oh thats right me. i tried to find a nice appetizing picture of a fillet mignon to show and make you all jealous but all the pictures i came across had no bacon wrapped around it which is CRAZY i do not know if the traditional fillet mignon is supposed to or not but that was how i was introduced to it and i love bacon so i expect nothing else but bacon on my fillet.
ps-tommy the clown accepted my friend request on myspace. i feel so street that i want to krump it clown style yo. you should all watch RIZE
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