Friday, March 31, 2006

painted testicular genius

-i have totally caught the painting bug. i feel amazing and very artistic. bitch tried painting on this spare canvas that i had and he was slightly drunk and he was all like I CAN DO THIS and i just smiled and sipped my wine and watched him as the paint ran down the canvas, blotches all over and horrific brush strokes (haha i just said that to sound pretentious and artsy because i really have no idea what horrific brush strokes are but i do know what are horrific brain strokes those are bad my dad had one but he is fine now thank gawd but for awhile he was all fucked up on one side of his body and his one foot would drag around and my mom wanted to tie a mop head to his foot so at least he would not be too useless... hah i love my mother) and he was all WOW THIS IS HARDER THAN IT LOOKS and that gave me more fuel to paint and last night i finished a new one of some stick figure stepping in dog shit. GENIUS! it is very explodingdog inspired but with my own touch of shit. bitch says i should make a series of them all about this one guy walking in the park and BOOM SHIT ON HIS SHOE and we will line the kitchen wall with it but i am not sure people want to walk into a kitchen that has a story of a man and his foot encased in shit but i know i would be like AWESOME SHIT MAN but maybe not my parents but then again my parents vulgarity has gotten worse as i get older i think i am training them well. it surprises me...
ie. my dad the other week or so was asking me about bitch:
- -
me: did you transfer the computer payment into my account?

dad: yes i did son... hows davey boy? (my dad calls him that for some reason)

me: hes fine... still a bitch tho!

dad: have you chained his wallet to his testicles yet?

me: [quiet for a second since my dad just mentioned my boyfriends testicles]...um no i hope i do not have to go that far...

dad: well you should cause can you imagine how much fun it would be to borrow money off him [laughs hysterically]

me: ....um ya....
--


like hey cudos to father for being comfortable enough to talk about me sucking off my boyfriend while borrowing money since i just came out to my parents earlier last year but um weird coming from him.

when i get home tonight i will be sure to download the pictures of my painting so you can see the simplistic genius known as me.


ps- HAPPY BIRTHDAY RAYMI!@#

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